Gay Daddy & Bear Blog: Age Appropriate

Chris Turner
December 7, 2008
Category: Gay Culture

I was about 13 when I asked my parents if they could get me a subscription to Sports Illustrated. They were more than a little eager to accomodate, as they thought there might be some hope that their sensitive, shy, awkward teenager might actually turn out to be a sports-lovin', beer-drinkin' and (most importantly) pussy chasin' young man. Well I do drink beer sometimes (not exactly like a frat boy), and I do actually like sports, but I never got around to the other thing.  The reason I really wanted that subscription was not to keep up with sports, but to jerk off to those Jockey ads with Jim Palmer. His furry chest and well-formed basket certainly helped to ease the tension of my teenage years.

When I was 15 and flipping through the pages of SI, I stumbled upon the most unthinkable thing -- a tribute to the life of an openly gay man. This sports magazine, to my knowlege, had never shown gay men in a positive light, and here it was doing a feature on... someone like me.  For years I had used the magazine as a way to work out my teenage sexual angst, but I never imagined it would be the place that I'd find a role model who ultimately helped me accept my sexuality.

The July 27, 1987 issue had an article entitled "The Death of an Athlete". It was a tribute to Tom Waddell who had died of AIDS on July 11-- just 16...

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Walter Smith
December 6, 2008
Category: Gay Culture

In all the recent excitement around gay marriage, civil unions and domestic partner registration the last few years, some of us might have forgotten that these unions, while they can be sacred spiritually and emotionally, are at their core legal agreements and, as such, should not be entered into lightly.

In that vein, I offer you “Domestic Partnership in California: A Cautionary Tale…”

After 6 years of living apart in a joyful and exciting relationship, my partner and I decided to move in together and register as domestic partners in California in 2004.  Up ‘til then, I had always lived by the adage, “if it aint broke, don’t fix it.”  But it seemed to us that it was the right time for us to take these next steps.

He had inherited a large sum of money.  I was at the beginning of a new career.  So we could save expenses by moving in together and I could focus on getting my career off the ground while he took a year’s sabbatical from work before deciding on his next steps. 

For me, I admit, the domestic partnership was almost an afterthought.  We should be covered in case one of us ends up in the hospital, I thought (visitation rights!).  We would have legal protection under the law as a couple! Hooray for legal protection!

Was I naïve?  Yes.  Because my partner had a great big secret he wasn’t telling me and it got bigger and bigger until it destroyed our relationship earlier this year.

This cautionary tale is not about...

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M. Christian
December 5, 2008
Category: Gay Culture

Last we heard a 'polar bear' is a warmly older guy with some snow on the roof -- and some on his chest as well: a silver-haired daddy-bear, in other words.  Now usually these fun white-haired daddies are easy to tell apart from, say, regular bears ... and especially girls.

Boy or Girl?

But it seems that with real polar bears it's a bit harder to tell girls from boys, just ask the staff of the Kushiro Municipal Zoo in Japan.  Seems they've been trying to get Tsuyoshi and Kurumi, two star polar bears, to mate - always unsuccessfully.  And no wonder: Tsuyoshi and Kurumi are both girl bears.

Apparently, with polar bears, separating the men from the errrr.... girls is more difficult than one might think.  We sincerely wish the staff of the zoo the best of luck in finding a male bear for Tsuyoshi and Kurumi.  Lucky for us, our kind of polar bears are pretty easy to spot -- and as for mating ... buy us dinner first and we'll talk.

Chris Turner
December 4, 2008
Category: Gay Culture

A Herma is a statue that features just the head and the cock-- nothing else but a rectangular stone holding them up. You'll have to forgive my phallocentric appreciation of the antiquities, but there's just not enough phallic worship these days (at least publicly). Which is why I think we should start a movement to bring back the herma.

Hermai (plural of herma) are associated with the god Hermes:

"Hermes is the messenger of the gods in Greek mythology. An Olympian god, he is also the patron of boundaries and of the travelers who cross them, of shepherds and cowherds, of road travelers, of orators and wit, of literature and poets, of athletics, of weights and measures, of invention, and of general commerce."

Hermes was a phallic god associated with fertility and luck. Hermai usually had the bust of Hermes, but the form was also used for portraits of public figures, writers and philosophers. That's what I'm really interested in-- we've all seen beautiful statues of naked gods, but I love the idea of public figures putting their genitalia on display for the masses. Why should we be so shy about our junk? The hermai were used as boundary markers on roads, but they were also placed in doorways of private houses and temples for good luck. They were extremely popular in Athens. To obtain good luck, one had to rub the genitals or anoint them with olive oil. Needless to say, with all that rubbing and anointing there aren't many hermai penises intact...

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M. Christian
December 4, 2008
Category: Politics

That it would happen isn't a real big surprise - this being the age of micro-productions and all.  But that a musical about California's bigoted Proposition 8 should feature not just teddy bear bad-boy Jack Black AND reborn wild and crazy (and damned funny) Neil Patrick Harris (not to mention honorary queer guy Margaret Cho) is nothing short of ... well, WOW!

But that's just what has happened, compliments of Marc Shaiman, who composed such Broadway hits as Hairspray.  Ladies and Gentlemen: Proposition 8 The Musical!

Just goes to show you: never piss off 'the gay' - especially ones who know how to sing, how to dance, and how to put on a kick-ass show!  So enjoy the show and also be sure to go to jointheimpact.com to get involved.

...
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Frank Strona
December 3, 2008
Category: Health

I’m always amazed at the way sexually active gay men want to ignore any talk about STDs. More often than not they think having an STD is a dirty nasty thing. I see profiles online all the time that say “clean”, or “ looking for STD Free”.  What I find is that most of the time when guys think having an STD is a dirty thing, they lack a basic understanding of STDs, including the ways to protect themselves and what to look out for.

I think that’s why in some cities we are now seeing increases in syphilis, as well and chlamydia and gonorrhea.  And remember, you can get these STD’s in your butt as well as in your throat. (Yeah – you can get them in places other than just your dick!)

So I decided to share a few of my personal Do’s & Dont's on sexual health and STD prevention.

DOs:

- If you are sexually active (that means having sex with more than your monogamous partner) think about making a routine testing commitment to yourself. Every 3 months for common STDs is not too frequent.

- Ask your local STD clinic or medical provider to swab your throat, ass and take a urine test. If your provider doesn’t offer throat & butt swabbing for chlamydia and gonorrhea, ask why! You need to take an active part of your own health care.

- If you are HIV positive – make sure your medical provider makes this part of your routine blood work up. Don’t expect that it’s already...

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Chris Turner
December 2, 2008
Category: Eye Candy

Sir Adrian Fulford, sometimes called The Honorable Mr Justice Fulford, has been an openly gay lawyer in England for 30 years. He's 55 years old, and if I might add, he's a sexy lookin' daddy. He's got that mischievous look in his eyes. Sir Adrian also has quite the impressive resume. He received a knighthood from the Queen in 2002. He has been a judge on the High Court of England and Wales, and currently he is serving as one of eighteen judges on the International Criminal Court.

Pink News UK reported that earlier this month on a speech that he gave at the opening of The Pink Law Legal Advice Centre, in which he made some interesting statements about being an older gay man. Here are some snippets from his speech:

"One of the advantages, and I assure you there aren't many of them, of what sometimes feels like extreme old age, is that you gain a perspective on events that you simply didn't have before. Particularly you get a historical focus through which a bright light shines on events taking place today. For me the past has been crucial in appreciating how vitally important this new venture within the Queen Mary legal advice center is. When I came of age in the law in the mid 1970's, nothing remotely resembled the Pink...

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M. Christian
November 29, 2008
Category: Gay Culture

What's not to like about Björn Borg? One of the world's greatest tennis pros, a massive success as a fashion guru with his own label -- that was launched in his native Sweden with a campaign to "Fuck for the Future" -- a very serious daddy-hottie now that time has added a bit of stately definition to his boyish face, and now an international internet dating guru.

But not just any internet dating guru. Björn just launched his new site with a campaign that's pretty much guaranteed to bring a smile to your face -- unless, that is, you happen to think a commercial featuring two priests getting married to the tagline "love for all" isn't fantastic ... or at least damned funny.

Bravo, Björn, you've shown you can serve affection and respect with grace and style.

Chris Turner
November 28, 2008
Category: Gay Culture

The movie "MILK" uses the framing device of Harvey Milk making a tape to be played in the event of his death by assassination. The following short film is called "575 Castro St" directed by Jenni Olson. It has a series of static video shots of Harvey's old camera shop (as it was recreated for  "MILK") with an edited down version of the original 13 minute tape. I had heard of this tape on a few occasions, so I was intrigued when a friend sent me the link to this. You can see the director's notes here.

November 28, 2008
Category: Health

Those of us 50 or older have seen fitness trends come and go. I, for one, used to jog the entire length of Golden Gate Park in San Francisco in the late 70s (about five miles). When I moved back to Los Angeles in 1980, I started training for 5K and 10K races in Griffith Park. Jogging morphed into running, and then aerobics in all its various forms consumed the fitness world. It is fitting that so many have devoted so much time to cardio-vascular training as these heart-pumping exercises form the base of the fitness triangle, with weight training and flexibility training as the other two sides. Nevertheless, motivating ourselves to do these often-repetitive (i.e. boring) exercises can be a challenge, despite loads of studies showing how regular aerobic exercise can reverse or reduce the risk of heart disease and Type II diabetes, lower blood pressure, eliminate unwanted body fat, lift our spirits, and even keep Mr. Happy perky.

Our understanding of how best to perform cardio, as we’re calling it now, has changed as we’ve learned more about the human body’s response to different kinds and different styles of cardio training. Joggers and runners, for example, discovered that running on hard surfaces or with the wrong shoes could lead in time to join degeneration and injured tendons and ligaments, so wise runners choose their shoes and running surfaces more carefully nowadays. A visit to a store that...

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