Gay Daddy & Bear Blog: Age Appropriate

Chris Turner
December 18, 2008
Category: Gay Culture

Mike Doherty got the idea for The Complete Bear ( while shopping in Tahoe with his partner, or "husbear" as he calls him.  The woodsy and bear-themed products got him thinking and the rest is bear history.

The Complete Bear, founded in 2006, aims to provide the bear community with a single source for fine bear accessories (for the bear, his cub, and their den).  They search the globe for the world's elite brands and select the top gifts, apparel, accessories, grooming items and home furnishings.  They also have The Twisted Bear, which celebrates the leather life in bear style.

In this interview with Chris Turner, founder of Daddyhunt, Mike talks about his inspiration for the Complete Bear as well as his not-so-secret celebrity bear crushes.

Chris:    So how did you get the idea to start The Complete Bear?

Mike:    Husbear and I were up in Tahoe, I was shopping of course!  I loved all the rustic bear stuff and the rest is bear history

Chris:    I know you have a couple different main sites... The Complete Bear and Twisted Bear. Can you tell us a bit about each of those?

Mike:    The Complete bear is for the bear, his cub and their den.  Everything from rustic furnishings to jockstraps - which by the way they don't sell in Tahoe!


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M. Christian
December 17, 2008
Category: Gay Culture

Well, guys, the answer is in and the answer is --  "The French."

What?  You actually want to know the question?  Okay, then: What European Union country's male population, statistically, has the longest and the thickest ...well, let's just say the longest and the thickest?

Now we're the first to accept the results of a well-thought-out and fully-documented study, especially one conducted by the very-official sounding "Institut fuer Kondom-Beratung" (whatever that means) but in the interests of fully supporting their findings we are simply going to have to insist on some further -- and very hands on -- research.

According to the researchers, French flag poles are, on average, 6.1 inches long and 5.4 inches around.  The Brits, by comparison, rise to a height of 5.2 inches and have a girth of 4.5 inches, on average.

Does it matter?  Probably not, but interesting nonetheless.  Perhaps interesting only in our never-ending fascination with penis size.  For more on this topic, read R. Jackson's post on the DH Blog.

R. Jackson
December 16, 2008
Category: Gay Culture

President Abe “Log-splitter” Lincoln, who shared a bed with Joshua Speed for five years, was asked, “How long should a man’s legs be?” and replied, “Long enough to reach the ground.” A 1960s-era party joke riffed on that: “How large should a man's erect penis be?” to which the answer was, “Long enough to reach the ground.”

So let’s ask in all honesty: What size dick is big enough for you? Are you satisfied with your size? Why or why not? Do you have a different standard for the men you have sex with than for yourself?

Don’t tell me you never think or talk about these things. The obsession with dick size is infused in gay/bi men’s lingo (“size queen”) and omnipresent in queer men’s culture. Gay and especially bisexual men are stereotyped as oversexed — that is, as always wanting sex — but along with this common misconception is the idea that they’re also all well hung.

A  recent vodka ad run on the back cover of several gay men’s mags displays a metal ruler with each inch mark marked 8. Their press release stated that the display ad takes “a humorous look at gay men and their fascination with perfect, eight-inch ‘member’ measurements.”

Of course, if eight inches is considered the perfect cock size, more than 90% of all men fall short of the mark. That’s an expectation...

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Kirk Read
December 15, 2008
Category: Dating

Dear Kirk,

I have never paid much attention to how old people are. If people ask me to guess their age, I am completely stumped. It has just never registered much with me. I notice whether a guy is in good shape, whether he’s cute, and most of all how he treats other people, me included. But I’ve noticed since I hit my early 40s that I get hit on by lots of younger guys -- I mean 10 or 15 or even 20 years younger. I am very flattered -- who doesn’t like attention? -- but I have also realized lately that it is hard to communicate sometimes.

I don’t mean sex -- on the times that it comes to that, I feel that I can really connect with the guy I’m with. I mean the other times, socializing together or going out to dinner or walking and having a conversation. I find that a lot of the references I make -- to music or movies or famous writers or other people -- elicit a blank stare -- younger guys just don’t have any idea who I’m talking about.

I hate trying to explain things. Usually I just end up feeling stupid about wasting five minutes on some boring story about somebody I think is “famous”. What should I do?  Signed -- Billy Pilgrim

Dear Billy,

I never play the game of guessing people’s age, because you’re always going to come up with the wrong answer. If a 50 year-old man asks you to guess his age, he wants you to guess 43 whether that’s warranted or not. If you say 47, he’s mildly disappointed he isn’t pulling off 43. And if you...

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Walter Smith
December 13, 2008
Category: Gay Culture

Ahhh, the holidays.  They bring out the best in most of us -- we smile a little more brightly and trick a little more lightly.  But when it comes to finding that perfect gift for your Daddy or Hunter, the grinch in many of us often comes uninvited to the party, much like your brother-in-law's best friend, who still thinks wedgies are funny and show how "cool" he is with your being gay.

Lucky for you, we present here the first ever DaddyHunt Holiday Shopping Guide.  Here are a few of our favorite gift ideas for the season.  For more great book, CD and movie ideas check out the DaddyHunt Gift Page here!



After checking out that erotic art, you may want to dress your daddy or hunter in this masculine racing jacket ($224.95) and have him do a little posing for you in the privacy of your own home.  You can see more great gifts like this at The Complete Bear.






Now, you might be feeling a little dirty after all that erotic art and personal posing with your man.  That's where this fun stocking stuffer comes in handy ($7.99).   Give your man a good clean scrubbing with this fun soap so you'll both be fresh when the guests arrive for the holiday party.  Also available at...

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M. Christian
December 12, 2008
Category: Entertainment

Here's something, ummmm, warm and inviting to think about on this cold, December Friday morn.  The hot daddy-ness of our celebrated Presidents is a very no-duh: Washington would be a stern papa, the military dad full of strength and honesty; Jefferson would be the smart dad, intellectual and passionate; Roosevelt (Teddy, of course) would be the (ahem) rough-riding dad, roaring with vigor; and Lincoln would be a strong but vulnerable father, determination mixed with kindness.

I'll take the second from the right, thank you very much

But leave it to a German gay travel site to take Mount Rushmore and make the Presidential Monument into a silly-something that would make even folks who don't see that daddy-ness of Washington, Jefferson, Roosevet, and Lincoln think of them in a new light ... and from a whole new perspective.  It's always been said that hindsight is in the eye of the beholder, no wait, that's not right...

Click here for a closer look.

December 11, 2008
Category: Health

We used to think it was enough to spend some time on a treadmill or something similar to keep fit. But cardio-vascular exercise alone will not preserve bone density and muscle mass. As time passes without adequate stimulation, aging bodies lose both, and these changes can result in falls, broken bones, back injuries, and decreased resistance to disease in our golden years.

Cardio is important, no doubt, but to achieve total fitness we need to lift some weights one way or another. There is an old mistaken notion that men with well-developed muscles will have all that “turn to fat” if they don’t' keep lifting. Muscles will atrophy if they are not regularly and sufficiently stimulated, and men who eat more calories than they burn will store the excess as fat. But if you have ever built muscle at any time in your life, the foundation will remain, and rebuilding will be easier through a process known as “muscle memory” than for those who never lifted a finger.

Whether you are new to weight training or returning from a break in training, it is wise to start out your weight-training program slowly and carefully, allowing plenty of time for your body to adjust to the new level of exercise. Before you lift anything heavier than your gym bag, however, you should start out with five-to-ten minutes of a warm-up exercise such as a treadmill, elliptical trainer, or stationary bike. The idea here is simply to get blood flowing, warm up stiff muscles, and break a sweat. We used to think that stretching before lifting was a good idea, but we...

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R. Jackson
December 9, 2008
Category: Sexuality

As it turns out, defining “Daddy-ness” isn’t any easier than explaining “Bear-ness.” But we all know what our own Dad looks like, right? Older, mature, masculine. Facial hair, bald/ing or shaved head, maybe. Gray/ing hair. Paunchy or stout or muscular, hairy in all the right places. But WTF?! — isn’t that the description for Bear? Didn't Daddy magazine start around the same time as Bear mag anyways? These masculine identity/marketing shifts get confusing sometimes …

I was maybe 33 years old when I realized I was rapidly becoming a Daddy. My beard always made me look older, but I always went for older men. Once I was topping a man ten years older who started calling me Daddy. “Daddy-who? Me?” He responded so strongly when I called him “boy” that I knew he wanted me to teach him to be Daddy’s good boy. Being Daddy in bed was definitely a hot and safer experience, and I wanted more.

I did a self-assessment while contemplating the experience of being called Daddy during the rest of my thirties. True, I had grown some gray hairs in my medium-brown beard. Sure, my head hair was thinning and my chest hair was thickening. Hair sprouted on my ears, shoulders, upper back, and ass. It dawned on me that I was now old enough to be perceived as someone’s daddy, even though I was well aware that technically I was capable of fathering children.

Daddy also connoted sexual dominance or aggression, but I had affairs...

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Kirk Read
December 8, 2008
Category: Relationships

Dear Kirk,

I have always been attracted to older guys. Even in high school I always hung out with seniors, even when I was a freshman! Now I have graduated from college and started a professional life in a big city, and I have gotten into a relationship with an older man. He is 42, and I am 27.

We’re totally in love, and the sex is wild and great. We’ve been together for eight months now, spending basically every night together.

The problem is that we always stay at his house because I have roommates, and now he wants me to move in with him. I understand completely why he doesn’t want to stay at my place with my roommates hanging around. But I also feel weird about moving in because I don’t want to be someone who takes advantage of the fact that he’s farther along in his career and has more money and even owns his own house. I’ve known some guys who were “kept” by older (or just richer) men, and I don’t want to be one of those.

This guy is really wonderful and I don’t want to lose him or appear ungrateful or push him away, but I just don’t know what to do.

 Dear Real Estate Victim,

Not to minimize your concerns, which is an actionable violation of the laws of Social Work 101. but hey, there are worse problems to have! You’re fresh out of college and you’re in love with a man you’re having great sex with. Rejoice, first of all.

I feel you about not wanting to...

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Chris Turner
December 7, 2008
Category: Gay Culture

I was about 13 when I asked my parents if they could get me a subscription to Sports Illustrated. They were more than a little eager to accomodate, as they thought there might be some hope that their sensitive, shy, awkward teenager might actually turn out to be a sports-lovin', beer-drinkin' and (most importantly) pussy chasin' young man. Well I do drink beer sometimes (not exactly like a frat boy), and I do actually like sports, but I never got around to the other thing.  The reason I really wanted that subscription was not to keep up with sports, but to jerk off to those Jockey ads with Jim Palmer. His furry chest and well-formed basket certainly helped to ease the tension of my teenage years.

When I was 15 and flipping through the pages of SI, I stumbled upon the most unthinkable thing -- a tribute to the life of an openly gay man. This sports magazine, to my knowlege, had never shown gay men in a positive light, and here it was doing a feature on... someone like me.  For years I had used the magazine as a way to work out my teenage sexual angst, but I never imagined it would be the place that I'd find a role model who ultimately helped me accept my sexuality.

The July 27, 1987 issue had an article entitled "The Death of an Athlete". It was a tribute to Tom Waddell who had died of AIDS on July 11-- just 16...

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