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Decoding the Secret Language of Gay 70s San Francisco
The Daddyhunt Team
November 10, 2015
Comments: 45
Category: Sexuality
gay SF code

Photographer Hal Fischer rereleases his cult classic field guide to The Castro's leather daddies, jocks and cowboys.

"Are you a fister, or fistee? In 1970s Castro district San Francisco, the answer was right on the ass - a red handkerchief in the back pocket.

The Hanky Code of the pre-AIDS San Francisco gay community is lovingly documented in Gay Semiotics, the seminal work of photographer Hal Fischer, originally published in 1977 and re-released this month. The book is a cult classic field guide to gay style and expression - explored through photographs of nude men standing in trees, sadomasochistic contraptions, and the correct way to do poppers."

This is definitely worth a look.

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A special holiday discount for our members only!
Daddyhunt
December 22, 2014
Category: Sexuality
A special holiday discount for our members only!

Did you know the best way to consciously relax your sphincter is, oddly enough, to tighten it first? That’s because the first step to relaxation is awareness of its opposite–tension. This is a key concept to bottoming without pain: Your sphincter will relax more if you make an effort to tense it first.

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This is definitely a gift that will keep on giving...

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Happy holidays!

Face Your Fears of Bottoming
RobHeartsDH
June 10, 2014
Comments: 62
Category: Sexuality
How to Bottom Like a Porn Star

Our own MISTER Carl was recently on The Jolt with Larry Flick discussing the fears many men have around bottoming. From having too loose of an anus to hemorrhoids they talked through it all to set everyone's minds and asses at ease. He also mentioned Woody Miller's book How To Bottom Like A Porn Star which provides lots of tips and tricks. Let's be honest, we've all wondered how porn stars do it with such ease. The top sticks it in like a glute inject and the bottom hardly flinches. Porn stars perform some of the most painful sex acts ever seen without so much as blinking. How do they do it? And more importantly, is it something the rest of us can learn?

Gay sex columnist Woody Miller teamed up with a colorectal specialist and an urologist to find out. They interviewed some of the biggest names in the gay porn industry – – performers, directors and producers to produce a book that combines porn industry secrets with innovative techniques from the latest gay male sex research.

The result is a fascinating, behind-the-scenes, no-holds-barred look into the gay porn industry and the secrets they use to get performers to bottom without pain or messy scenes. In How To Bottom Like A Porn Star. The Guide To Gay Anal Sex the author, along with his team, use the research as a launching point to introduce effective ways to bottoming without pain, including “The Sexhalation Method,” which combines systematic desensitization, pattern breathing,...

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If Animals Aren't Monogamous, Should We Be?
RobHeartsDH
February 17, 2014
Comments: 152
Category: Sexuality

Not to be a downer, but more and more I feel like open relationships are an inevitability. I've let go of the dream of soul mates and falling in love forever, but I think I may need to let go of the dream of monogamy too. It's not that it can't happen, but it just doesn't seem like we're programmed that way. It'll take some recalibrating on my generations part, but maybe it'll be easier if it's taught at a younger age. There certainly would be less disappointment. I guess I've always been curious about sexuality from a primal perspective. What are our natural instincts? What are we internally programmed to want and do? When you remove societal pressures and norms, were we really ever supposed to mate for life?

It's not a lot, but this video at least debunks the theory that much of the animal kingdom mates for life and that it's not just a human thing to do:

Animals aside, what are your thoughts on monogamy? Do you think it's possible to be monogamous and still be satisfied? Let us know in the comments below.

If Animals Aren't Monogamous, Should We Be?
RobHeartsDH
February 17, 2014
Comments: 152
Category: Sexuality

Not to be a downer, but more and more I feel like open relationships are an inevitability. I've let go of the dream of soul mates and falling in love forever, but I think I may need to let go of the dream of monogamy too. It's not that it can't happen, but it just doesn't seem like we're programmed that way. It'll take some recalibrating on my generations part, but maybe it'll be easier if it's taught at a younger age. There certainly would be less disappointment. I guess I've always been curious about sexuality from a primal perspective. What are our natural instincts? What are we internally programmed to want and do? When you remove societal pressures and norms, were we really ever supposed to mate for life?

It's not a lot, but this video at least debunks the theory that much of the animal kingdom mates for life and that it's not just a human thing to do:

Animals aside, what are your thoughts on monogamy? Do you think it's possible to be monogamous and still be satisfied? Let us know in the comments below.

What's Your Daddy Fantasy?
RobHeartsDH
January 21, 2014
Comments: 15
Category: Sexuality

Maybe it's the winter or grayness the season has cast, but I can't help but fantasize more during dreary weather times. Even my dreams seem to be counteracting the bundling up that these more frequent Polar Vortex's have caused with highly sexualized and fantastical night visions. Whether it's about people I know or celebrities and public figures, my dreams have been on fire lately, causing me to have lingering feelings for this special dream guest for more than just a night. Not to mention the horniness that comes (and stays) with it. So that's why I'm turning to you all to put your fantasies on display in the comments below. They can be anything from an exceptional dream (be it new or recurring), a sexual adventure you're looking to fulfill this year, or even some sort of FanFic pairing that you'd like to see played out on screen. For those of you not familiar with FanFic, it stands for Fan Fiction and it's when a viewer of a movie or TV show writes their own storyline of an already existing property and pairs two characters together. A good example would be Sherlock and Holmes, while not a sexual relationship in most portrayals, in FanFic the two would get hot and heavy and be in a gay relationship. Make sense?

Think of this open post as a fantasy free for all to express anything and everything you want. Who knows, it may catch a Daddy/Hunter's eye and turn fantasy into reality.

Why (Good) Kissing Matters
RobHeartsDH
October 31, 2013
Comments: 48
Category: Sexuality

There is nothing better than a good first kiss. Aside from the aforementioned goodness of the kiss, there's the added relief of knowing that you could kiss this person again and like it. On the flip side, a bad first kiss is not only a huge disappointment but ultimately a deal breaker. I'll always give someone a few more tries (because yes, sometimes angles matter and people have off days), but if after a few tries it's not working there's little hope for me sticking around. Some say you can fix a bad kisser, but I don't know that that's true. You can try to course correct, but unless you're willing to flat out say they're not a good kisser, they don't often times get the hint. There's also the theory that bad kissers are only bad kissers because they're not kissing the right people. Perhaps a bad kisser to you is an amazing to kisser to some. I dated someone who was objectively a very handsome man. I could not understand how this man could be nearly 40, this good looking, and a terrible kisser. I wondered if because he was so intimidatingly hot that no one had ever told him he was a bad kisser and he just went on unknowingly kissing badly with everyone. But maybe to someone else he was amazing. Lip syncing in the kissing sense is key, because when you do meet someone who's lips work perfectly with yours, life is good.

The The New York Times published a story recently about the science behind kissing. There are plenty of...

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Have You Had Your Sexual Walkabout Yet?
RobHeartsDH
July 2, 2013
Comments: 30
Category: Sexuality
Gay Men Sexual Walkabout List

We all have our bucket lists. That ever growing lists of things we need to complete before we die. Whether it be bungee jumping or visiting Fiji, there are plenty of action items we need to "check the box" on before we can consider our lives fully lived. But what about our sexual lives? There are so many things to explore when it comes to our own sexual fulfillment and often times we let the years (or relationships) pass by before ever completing them. As Jenna Maroney on 30 Rock* exemplified, we all need a sexual walk about before we settle down with someone. A sexual walkabout is similar to a bucket list, in that it's an opportunity to do all the things you've ever wanted and/or discover what you're truly into. For some, it really is a checklist. A friend of mine wanted to make sure he tried every "flavor" of man and explored every ethnicity before he settled down with the man he'll soon be marrying. It's about getting things out of your system so you're never left wondering one day what you've missed. For others, it really is a sexual exploration to figure out our very complex desires and learn what turns us on. With so many fetishes and situations in which to have sex, truly understanding what makes us light up the most in bed can be long journey. In some ways, it's more about being open to what's out there and not limiting the possibilities of what makes our dicks tick.

A sexual walkabout (or even awakening) can happen at any age and I encourage each and every one of you to take one yourself. As long as you're safe (and have your partner's blessing...

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Hook Ups From Hell
RobHeartsDH
May 20, 2013
Comments: 40
Category: Sexuality

I thought it might get better. After a bit of a rough start, I tried to be hopeful that we would eventually sync up as we progressed to the good stuff, but sadly that sync up would never arrive: I was in the middle of one of the worst hook ups ever and I didn't know how to get out.

He was perfectly cute when I met him out at the bar, just a little less cute when he arrived at my apartment a few days later after a series of escalatingly flirty sexts. Maybe it was the fact that he was drunk, or trying to kick box with me when all I wanted to do was get off and go to sleep. Whatever it was, I knew I wanted it to end before it even began. But how do you excuse yourself from something so intimate? Is it better to power through and make the best of it or just bring everything to a full stop and ask them to leave?

We want to hear from you dear reader: tell about your hook ups from hell (and don't spare in the gory details). Let's all bask in the terrible afterglows together. While you're at it, let us know what you think is right when it comes to hook up etiquette when you're not into it.

Gay Men Reporting Fewer Partners
RobHeartsDH
May 8, 2013
Comments: 13
Category: Sexuality

A new study suggests that gay men have fewer sex partners. "The mean number of male sexual partners MSM reported in the previous year fell significantly from 2.9 to 2.3 between the two surveys (p = 0.035) and was more marked in men under 24 years old (mean 2.9 to 2.1 partners, p = 0.027). The number of partners also fell in men aged 35 to 44 from 3.0 to 2.2, though this was not quite statistically significant (p = 0.07)." Through the different demos there was a consistent (if not hugely significant) drop in the number of sexual partners, which leads me to wonder if marriage equality is starting to have an effect on our community as a whole. Could it be that with the new possibility of legally settling down with someone a shift is beginning in how we date and hook up? It's probably too early to say, but based on this study it's definitely a possibility.

Unfortunately while the number of sexual partners has dropped, the rates of HIV and STDs have risen. But still some hopeful news is that the number of gay men who had never been tested for HIV fell from 25% to 15%.

With new legal possibilities and views about how we love and live, will there be a shift in the way we think about sexual partners?