RobHeartsDH
September 29, 2010
Category: Relationships

I'm laying in bed with my little black pug curled up against me. He's big on cuddling, just like his daddy. But on this particular night, while he's satisfied nestling in between my calf and thigh, I'm longing for something a bit more intimate and a bit more human.

This year, I took a trip with a guy I dated last summer to visit some college friends and attend a wedding. And while it was clear that we were both just friends before our long weekend began, things got complicated as the vacation progressed (don't they always). You see, we ended up sharing a bed which at first glance shouldn't have been problematic, sharing a bed with a friend isn't hard to do. The problem arose though when upon getting into bed that night he grabbed me and got with the cuddling. As noted earlier, I love a good cuddle. There's something about being wrapped in someone's arms (and vice versa) that feels so natural and safe and soothing. Cuddling can get tricky though, because on the one hand it's an innocent practice, but there's also an intimacy to the act that many overlook.

We continued cuddling for the remainder of the trip each night. I'd be lying if I said old feelings didn't make their way to the surface on both of our parts, as cuddling turned into hand holding in front of friends - for the record: also initiated by him. On the last night I asked for a cuddle and a kiss. And as we lay their wrapped in each other's arm, he replied to the kiss query with, "are you sure that's a good idea?" To which I responded incredulously, "do you think THIS is a good idea?" referring...

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RobHeartsDH
September 24, 2010
Category: Relationships

Now that Fall is up and officially running, it reminds me of how many amazing date possibilities exists after summer. From hayrides to pumpkin patches, it seems like things tend to slow down in the fall and relationships start to get serious. Summers tend to be an overload of fun - in a great way for the most part, but sometimes things are just too busy for anything to really solidify. That’s why the juxtaposition of Summer mentality versus Fall is actually quite optimal.

I know a good destination-less walk ending with a long chat on a park bench under the fall foliage is a favorite Fall date of mine, but I want to know: what are your favorite season specific dates? Let’s get some good ones out in the open so the rest of can be inspired (and occasionally steal some great ideas).


gay bears


THIS DADDY
September 18, 2010
Category: Relationships

Why is it that so many Hunters think if they haven't found 'the one' by age 25, they are doomed to spinsterhood? I've never understood that.

Sure, our culture glorifies youth, but how many 25 year olds are really ready to have, mature enough to have, and stable enough to have a 'real', lasting, long term relationship? While chatting online, younger guys often tell me, sometimes very hot, younger guys mind you, that nobody will ever want to date them, that they'll never be loved, etc. This thinking is just plain wrong. Having that kind of attitude is going to seriously impact your appeal. If you become one of those cynical, bitchy, defensive guys, so negative to be around or so desperate for a relationship that the 'stink' of it radiates from you, nobody will ever want you. Or, you'll end up in a relationship that is unhealthy, dating an older guy, any OLDER guy, just because he is the only one who expresses interest.

Too many of us are in love with the idea of being 'in love', without really knowing what it means and what it takes to create and maintain a relationship. Personally, and remember, this is coming from a guy who dates younger guys exclusively, many just aren't yet 'ripe' for a serious relationship until they reach their late 20's or early 30's. They may still be in college or they haven’t found the right career or they may not even live in the place where they’d like to settle.

Sure there are exceptions and sure, some guys are more mature for their age than others. But really, most guys in that age range just aren't in a place in their...

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RobHeartsDH
September 16, 2010
Category: Relationships

Before I begin this post, I have to credit pt_boy (a member here who made a comment on my inaugural post) for presenting the intergenerational dynamic in a great way. To sum up, he says the older/younger dynamic works so well because each are providing what the other lacks. In the case of the younger man, the senior of the two often times provides wisdom, protection, and comfort. On the flip side, the older man can thrive off the vivaciousness and curiosity of the youth. pt_boy equated the relationship to a ying yang, which in some ways is very true. There’s obviously much more to it than that, and it’s not always the case, but it’s an interesting way to look at the pairing.

This particular relationship works so well among gay men (and lesbians too) because we’ve all been initiated into the same minority. Think of being gay as a frat, and the pangs of discovering our sexuality, of coming out, etc. are all part of our initiation. It’s because of this, that right off the bat we share a common bond. In any relationship you look to that mutual reference point as a foundation to grow on, and despite generational differences we always have the shared experience of being gay and what that’s like in this world. Our experiences may vary greatly, but all those feelings, of not knowing who you are, or figuring out who to tell first are all part of the shared building blocks of our gay lives. Whether or not you’ve seen every episode of Saved by the Bell 5 times over might be a deal breaker down the line, but at the basic level we’ve got more in common then most. And...

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William Shindler
August 19, 2010
Category: Relationships

I got into an extended debate on Facebook recently when I challenged the notion that unrestrained sexual expression is more ”natural“ to humans than monogamy. I don’t deny that humans have engaged in non-monogamous behaviors (note I avoid the pejorative term ”promiscuity“) since the dawn of time. What I challenge is the usefulness of the notion of ”naturalness“ that implies there is some hardwired, biological justification for the choice gay men make to seek sexual experiences outside their primary relationships. The current science on the human brain informs us that the only thing natural about the brain in terms of sexual behavior is that it is nearly infinitely adaptable. If a society has promoted monogamy as an ideal, people have chosen, with notable exceptions, to embrace monogamy. If the societal attitude toward sex is some alternative to monogamy, the human brain adapts to that, too. Short of pathological sexual compulsion, in other words, human beings can choose how to behave sexually, either to remain exclusive to one partner or to engage in sex with many. Nature has nothing to do with it, and arguments employing “naturalness” as proof have been used to support both monogamy and polyamory, depending on the agenda of the one making the argument.

My position that I expressed in some detail in a previous Daddy Hunt blog entitled The Curse of Casual Sex is that, given our current sexual ecology, that is, the undeniable prevalence of incurable and in many cases life-...

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August 17, 2010
Category: Relationships
Daddies and Hunters and Bears... On Twitter and Facebook. Oh My!

The Advocate had a recent article about openly gay Congressman Jared Polis’ Twitter feed. If even Republicans in Congress are Tweeting daily then it’s probably time to admit defeat, accept that Twitter and Facebook are required reading in Digital Life 101 and update my Status.

I tried my darnedest to resist social networking. I didn’t understand why people couldn’t be satisfied with phones, texting and mass emails. But apparently they're not, because not an hour goes by without one or another of my growing circle of friends invading my digital consciousness with any number of opinions, observations and referrals.

So here at DH headquarters we’ve decided to jump into the deep waters of Twitter and Facebook and see if we can contribute to the conversation to make sure Daddies are given their appropriate ‘place at the digital table”.

What do you think are some of the pros and cons of social networking? And who do you think is shaping the online conversation for Daddies and Hunters?

July 2, 2010
Category: Relationships

To wrap up our week, we want to share this moving video and post from Queerty. Have a great weekend!

Bob Davis, 89, and Henry Schalizki, 89, met in 1942, in Rhode Island. They spent the night gabbing, but didn't see each other again for three years, when "the pair crossed paths in Baltimore." Their romance has endured for more than 60 years — and twelve presidents. On Sunday, they got married in Washington D.C. This, friends, is what the fight is for: happily ever after.

Originally posted on Queerty

Nathan Manske
May 6, 2010
Category: Gay Culture

My name is Nathan Manske and I created the website www.ImFromDriftwood.com. It collects true LGBT stories from all over the world. The stories come from every age, race, sex, culture, community and background. Daddies included.

Lots of things make Daddies hot. Manliness. Brawniness. Sometimes hair and sometimes muscle. But what really makes a Daddy hot is confidence, wisdom, experience and perspective, which usually (though not always) come with age. Doesn't this video story make you look forward to growing gray and wise? Not to mention, it will probably make you want to change your "Looking For" status to "Long-term Relationship." Until you get groped by a hottie, anyway.

Enjoy the video and stay tuned for more!

Jim Sullivan
February 10, 2010
Category: Relationships

I don’t know about you but I’ve always had a love/hate thing for Valentine’s Day. In Manhattan I witnessed guys swaggering down 23rd Street headed to their Sweetie Pie with over-priced long stemmed roses and I wanted to yell, “Hey, over here!” That was my dark period. Things have gotten better.

Some people can’t deal with all the Valentine fuss. One man from Phoenix told me he hides in his house and watches reruns of Golden Girls and mutters his own romance-adverse version of “humbug.”

I’m a born romantic—I turn girlie on VD.I love the cliché red roses, over-sized corny cards, upscale chocolate and dinner out—and lots of hugs and kisses.

I’m a little like Kent who tells me about Greg and himself. “It was Valentine’s Day and I got nothing from Greg. We went out together for dinner but for Greg Valentine’s Day meant little-if he remembered it. He’s the sweetest of the sweetest but I think he’s got the straight gene when it comes to romance. So the next day I told Greg, ‘Honey I want a big fat Valentine’s card from you next year with a big “I love you” written down.’ Greg was like,’Duh, I didn’t know—so sorry honey.’ I didn’t have to wait! The following week—every day--, to my delight, I got a different Valentine card in the mail from Greg with a big I LOVE YOU! He came through. I realized then and there that people can’t read our minds—we have to tell them what we want and need.”

The economy is grim and a lot of folks are out work so I think we should have a National Valentine’s Day Weekend (February 12-14)—to get our mind...

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Jim Sullivan
February 10, 2010
Category: Relationships

I don’t know about you but I’ve always had a love/hate thing for Valentine’s Day. In Manhattan I witnessed guys swaggering down 23rd Street headed to their Sweetie Pie with over-priced long stemmed roses and I wanted to yell, “Hey, over here!” That was my dark period. Things have gotten better.

Some people can’t deal with all the Valentine fuss. One man from Phoenix told me he hides in his house and watches reruns of Golden Girls and mutters his own romance-adverse version of “humbug.”

I’m a born romantic—I turn girlie on VD.I love the cliché red roses, over-sized corny cards, upscale chocolate and dinner out—and lots of hugs and kisses.

I’m a little like Kent who tells me about Greg and himself. “It was Valentine’s Day and I got nothing from Greg. We went out together for dinner but for Greg Valentine’s Day meant little-if he remembered it. He’s the sweetest of the sweetest but I think he’s got the straight gene when it comes to romance. So the next day I told Greg, ‘Honey I want a big fat Valentine’s card from you next year with a big “I love you” written down.’ Greg was like,’Duh, I didn’t know—so sorry honey.’ I didn’t have to wait! The following week—every day--, to my delight, I got a different Valentine card in the mail from Greg with a big I LOVE YOU! He came through. I realized then and there that people can’t read our minds—we have to tell them what we want and need.”

The economy is grim and a lot of folks are out work so I think we should have a National Valentine’s Day Weekend (February 12-14)—to get our mind...

Read more