RobHeartsDH
November 12, 2010
Category: Dating

Ever since I was little, I always wanted a relationship. I wanted a girlfriend in second grade, so I went out and found one. Even brought her in for show and tell. Ultimately, I realized it was men I was after and the thing that I believed would make me happiest would be a boyfriend. Here I am today, out for nearly 10 years now, and have never had the satisfaction of calling someone my boyfriend. At this point in my life I realize that it could take another 10 years before I meet someone. It might even take 20. It's not that I struggle with this potential timeline, it's the time in between that I don't know what to do with. Because even though I've accepted that things are out of my control, to a degree, the desire to be with someone will not go away. No matter how hard I wish it, or how much I distract myself, that want to be with someone is always there and so far I haven't found anything to take it away. So what do I do with myself in the meantime if I can't have what I want most in life?

Well for starters, I can try and get to the bottom of where that desire comes from. The desire to be with someone, is it nature vs. nurture? Is that need to be in a relationship an inherent part of being human? Or are we raised to believe that we need to be with someone to be happy? And when I say raised, I don't just mean by our parents and society, I'm including the arts (literature, television, theater, movies, music, etc.) just as much for filling our minds with stories about great loves. I tend to lean towards the latter. It's all those silly love stories I grew up...

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RobHeartsDH
November 12, 2010
Category: Dating

Ever since I was little, I always wanted a relationship. I wanted a girlfriend in second grade, so I went out and found one. Even brought her in for show and tell. Ultimately, I realized it was men I was after and the thing that I believed would make me happiest would be a boyfriend. Here I am today, out for nearly 10 years now, and have never had the satisfaction of calling someone my boyfriend. At this point in my life I realize that it could take another 10 years before I meet someone. It might even take 20. It's not that I struggle with this potential timeline, it's the time in between that I don't know what to do with. Because even though I've accepted that things are out of my control, to a degree, the desire to be with someone will not go away. No matter how hard I wish it, or how much I distract myself, that want to be with someone is always there and so far I haven't found anything to take it away. So what do I do with myself in the meantime if I can't have what I want most in life?

Well for starters, I can try and get to the bottom of where that desire comes from. The desire to be with someone, is it nature vs. nurture? Is that need to be in a relationship an inherent part of being human? Or are we raised to believe that we need to be with someone to be happy? And when I say raised, I don't just mean by our parents and society, I'm including the arts (literature, television, theater, movies, music, etc.) just as much for filling our minds with stories about great loves. I tend to lean towards the latter. It's all those silly love stories I grew up...

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RobHeartsDH
October 21, 2010
Category: Dating
voodoo

What would you do if you had control over a sexy daddy like these neato voodoo dolls? Besides dressing and undressing the dolls real life counter part, the possibilities seem limitless.

If only voodoo really worked...

© Andrea Sevcikova & Marek Menke, 2010


gay personals


RobHeartsDH
October 14, 2010
Category: Relationships

We've all been there. You've just broken up with someone, or been dumped, or realized you were barking up a very sexy, but very wrong tree and realized you need to move on in a big way. Realizing is one thing, but actually doing something about it is quite another. And as is usually the case, it's easier said than done. Distance and time is the most effective remedy, but it's also the hardest one (who has that kind of time?). So in an effort to speed up the process here are some other ways to help you heal that terribly itchy heartache.

Out of Sight, Out Of Mind

Similar to the 'distance and time' method, quitting a guy cold turkey is one of the most effective ways to get over someone in that it takes some time. This entails a complete cut off from your former flame, which means no phone calls, no texts, no facebook stalking, no friendly coffee catch ups, no contact whatsoever for a predetermined period of time. Of course you can't block them from your brain or prevent them from popping up in the wild, but by eliminating everything you can control, that man will be washed right out of your hair in no time. And the best part is, once your man-cleansing is complete you're free to start or resume a friendship with him from wonderfully solid footing.

Find Someone New

Another one of the more effective ways to help erase those pesky residual feelings is to start dating someone else. Starting to meet other people and discovering what's out there is great way to take your mind off things (I know this great dating site with a...

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cupidboy
September 8, 2010
Category: Dating

As a gay guy who’s been living in New York, I have slowly started to put a cash value on my time. It has become increasingly valuable, and I have less and less interest in wasting it. It’s unfortunate, because I now seem somewhat abrupt and come off as rude, but I really just don’t want to spend my life doing something I don’t want to do.

I’ve also been dating online since I moved to the city two years ago. That’s made me deal with a great volume of heartache and unnecessary pain, because people seem to be pretty happy to lie, waste time, and sometimes even scam others online when it comes to dating. Inexplicably, the lack of face-to-face contact somehow engenders a sense of protection against reality.

I’ve decided it’s time for that to change.

Are you having trouble finding a date online? Are you a lonely heart hoping to make a connection but just can’t? You may be unhappy with what this Hunter is about to tell you, but you’re not dating right now because you’re doing something wrong. Don’t worry though. This might be a tough love guide to gay online personals, but I’ll still help you. The difference between tough love and an outright insult is constructive criticism. Well, that, and being somewhat nice about it. I’ll offer you guidance to what you’re doing wrong through all the hard knocks and mistakes I’ve made myself. Hopefully what I’ve done and seen will make all the difference in the world.

One huge mistake guys make is sending cut-and-paste stock letters as an email of intent. You know the ones I’m talking about, right? It’s a...

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Jim Sullivan
November 17, 2009
Category: Dating

This blog post is about how to meet a single guy for dating, courtship and a long term partnership. Though hooking up with guys can be fun and exciting I’m in the “how to” find a Boyfriend/Soulmate/Partner/Spouse/Husband/ trade-- the love business, so to speak.

Four myths of dating.

First: “All the good guys are taken.” What a bummer this one is—I can assure you that not all the good guys are taken and in fact there is a great pool of adorable, smart men waiting to meet their future mate. Some of them are reading this post right now.

Second: “I can’t deal with rejection” Reality check: rejection is part of the dating scene. It’s a great equalizer—gorgeous guys, and men from every state of life have gotten rejected. It sucks but ultimately the best answer to rejection is a four letter word, “Next!”

Third: “Men will flock to me for dates.” If only! Ninety percent of men are not going to approach you-you’re going to have to approach them. Even hot guys have to make the first move. I promise you’ll develop a sexy confidence –a quality many singles are drawn to.

Fourth: “Dating is not work.” Dating is work but with a great dividend: a boyfriend. But it’s also has to be fun; otherwise, you’ll never be motivated to take a risk. Suggest to your date fun places to go (amusement park, wrestling competition, gallery opening) and to do (drive to the ocean, horseback riding). No need to turn first dates into exhaustive talkathons. Get out there and have some fun.

Dealing with Resistance. My partner and I met at one of my weekend...

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Frank Strona
September 9, 2009
Category: Dating

I’ve been recently chatting with a very nice guy in another city who is eager to meet someone available, honest and into the same things that he is. I understand all too well the process of weeding out potentials from online, especially when you have a huge  desire to be with someone.

During one of our chats, he mentioned how he was going to be traveling to meet someone he had been chatting with online, and that the fella had offered to "buy" him a flight back if he could get himself out there. Just the whole idea of it, put me on edge (maybe its the Daddy in me coming out...) but I began to think about what are good boundaries to have when traveling to meet a man in a different city. Questions like: Who pays? Where to stay?  And how to stay safe.

A few thoughts to consider before you hop on that plane;

1)    Make your own arrangements. If you can’t afford the entire  airfare or travel money to get to him and stay on your own (with friends or a hotel) the first time – then it might not be a good time to go.

2)    Money is power and who has it, often controls the situation. It’s great to be “invited” out for a “come meet” but even if your potential partner is paying half the expenses, there is no guarantee he will follow through with his commitments. This is especially true if the chemistry isn't right. In other words, you could be left on your own in a strange city, no place to stay and no way to get home.

3)    Have a...

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Kirk Read
June 17, 2009
Category: Dating

Dear Kirk,

I am having trouble being on the internet too much. At first I got online because it made me feel less isolated, but now I feel like I’m online for hours. It’s actually become more isolating for me. I can spend hours not doing much, just going between websites and cruising for sex. I don’t think I’m a sex addict because I’m not even having that much sex. I do a lot of checking email, shopping, looking at a hand full of websites. Sometimes I don’t leave the house for days on end because I’m lost in cyberspace. What can I do?

— Lost in Cyberspace

There’s a great song by Le Tigre called “Get Off the Internet.” The lyrics go “It feels so 80s or early 90s / to be political / where are my friends?” A lot of those friends are trying to figure out how to integrate the new technology into our lives in a way that balances face to face interaction, exercise, sex in three dimensions and our creative practices. Everywhere you look, people are displaying obsessive compulsive behaviors — clicking on “Get Mail” hundreds of times in the space of an hour, looking at their phones, standing in the middle of Safeway scrolling around on their iPhones. We’re definitely in a period of transition.

I just read an interesting book called “Against the Machine,” by Lee Siegel. He talks about how the internet has been heralded as a totally democratic space where everyone has a voice, how it’s revolutionary....

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April 14, 2009
Category: Dating

I saw a photo of a particularly attractive young man on a gay dating site, and I sent him a brief message saying I found his photos attractive and his profile appealing. He responded in a polite, friendly manner, and after some exchanged messages, he agreed to join me for dinner. Before we hung up he informed me that I am “much too old” for him to consider dating me, but he was interested in me for other reasons. When he arrived we discovered that we share the same alma mater, although he had only just graduated from UC Berkeley, and I graduated in 1975, several years before he was born as it happened, and we also had other common interests. After some polite conversation I felt obligated to inform the youngster that men my age (55) don't consider themselves much too old for anything.  He barely remembered the remark he had made on the phone and seemed embarrassed to have it repeated while sitting in my presence, and I gently told him that I was not much offended, and that young men frequently say insensitive things without even realizing they might be giving offense.

For example, I enjoy a compliment as much as anyone, and when a younger man tells me I'm “hot” or “in great shape,“ I feel a warm glow inside. However, when the young man adds the qualifier, “for your age,” I feel somewhat less complimented. For you youngsters out there who want to make your daddy smile, do, indeed, tell him he looks hot or attractive, but never, ever add the qualifier “for your age.” A man is either hot or not, so...

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Kirk Read
March 4, 2009
Category: Dating

Dear Kirk,

Years ago I suffered from a extremely severe hereditary case of acne (almost all my family members have suffered it). Fortunately and after many years I took control of this but still have terrible scars on part of my back and chest and ironically not on my face. In order to boost up my confidence I started to work out, now I'm athletic and in excellent shape but I've grown very conscious of these scars. I'm very clean and always groomed and have an excellent appearance till I have to take my shirt off and show my scars. What I usually do when I hook up is just turn off the lights but there are cases where this is impossible. And sometimes I have to give explanations of why I have these scars. I've been celibate the past few months because I feel embarrassed about this.

I'm sorry you had acne – it can really do a number on your self-image. I had it all over my back as a teenager and felt like a total leper.

There are plenty of guys who think scars are sexy. Acne is one of those experiences that many of us have endured, or at least we had friends in high school who went through it. So I'm sure lots of guys understand. When you have sex with guys with scars from burns or surgeries or self-inflicted wounds, it's difficult sometimes to know what to do. Do you risk making your partner self-conscious by asking him to tell you the story of that part of his body? Do you ignore it? I find myself intrigued, even turned on, by scars.

I've learned some interesting things from my female to male transgender friends...

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