Hook Ups From Hell

May 20, 2013

I thought it might get better. After a bit of a rough start, I tried to be hopeful that we would eventually sync up as we progressed to the good stuff, but sadly that sync up would never arrive: I was in the middle of one of the worst hook ups ever and I didn't know how to get out.

He was perfectly cute when I met him out at the bar, just a little less cute when he arrived at my apartment a few days later after a series of escalatingly flirty sexts. Maybe it was the fact that he was drunk, or trying to kick box with me when all I wanted to do was get off and go to sleep. Whatever it was, I knew I wanted it to end before it even began. But how do you excuse yourself from something so intimate? Is it better to power through and make the best of it or just bring everything to a full stop and ask them to leave?

We want to hear from you dear reader: tell about your hook ups from hell (and don't spare in the gory details). Let's all bask in the terrible afterglows together. While you're at it, let us know what you think is right when it comes to hook up etiquette when you're not into it.

Tags: Sex, One Night Stands, Bad Sex
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Post written by RobHeartsDH (View Author Profile)
About this author: Rob lives in Manhattan with his black pug Riley. When he’s not thinking about daddies, he enjoys writing, eating burritos, watching copious amounts of television, and thinking about his next meal.
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I've never had a "hook up from hell", despite COUNTLESS hook ups over the decades since I've been out. I HAVE had the "roommate from hell", who earned the nickname "Death threat Scotty" when he went off his medicine for bipolar disorder. I would be VERY leery of ever taking in a man who is bipolar. He was the worst nightmare I ever imagined and my friends were calling constantly to check up on his latest escapades and to see if I was OK.
My worst hook up ever just occurred recently. He was an older man who seemed desperate and he "partied and played" with crystal meth and couldn't function at all. He tried to arrange a four-way with some very young 20-somethings who were quite handsome, but was so out of it, he ruined the possibilities by chastising them mercilessly for some perceived fault after they arrived. Not quite a hook up from hell, but nothing worked out very well. I left vowing not to respond to p-n-p people anymore. Had he had his full senses, it could have been wonderful!

Run, don't walk, away from pnp. Speed kills.

I have had several hook ups from Daddyhunt where the guys stated that they had a little extra which was fine with me, but they ended up having a lot extra. Their pictures only showed their body from their chest up. I tend to like younger athletic, thinner guys, but a little extra is fine. I felt deceived to say the least. That was bad enough then it turned out that one guy used so much cologne I felt like I was swimming in it and it actually made me choke. What was also disturbing to me was that these same guys had the worse bad breath. Hasn't anyone heard of oral hygiene? These guys were not smokers either. I always make sure to use a mouth wash and/or mint gum when hooking up and I'm showered. Unfortunately I still had sex with them because I did not want to have them feel rejected and I guess I was horny too. They could tell though I'm sure that I was not into it as much as I tried not to show it because I tried to avoid kissing them. Because of these three hook ups, I now give guys the third degree to make sure they are who they say they are and mention that body order and bad breath is a real turn off for me. I have decided that if I run into these situations again, I will simply say that it isn't going to work for me and we should not go further.

I get where you're coming from, and yeah, it's not a fun experience. However, if a guy gives me the third degree before I've even met him, I tend to feel a bit uncertain of how friendly that guy is.

While I'm sure you're a nice enough fellow, and while disappointment sucks, you *could* try a more direct, yet softer approach: Ask for more pictures, and if the guy arrives and you're not interested, shake his hand, apologize for his trouble, and offer to call him a cab. Nothing is worse than sex with a guy who's not into you, so you're doing him a favor.

I have to agree about having accurate pictures--along with a variety for a well rounded idea of what you're dealing with. If the dude has more than a couple of pictures and they're all head shots--along with conspicuously missing stats, like weight or belt size--then chances are he doesn't want you to know about his girth. And sometimes to make matters worse all the pictures are from the same photo shoot: I recall on one hookup site one dude had literally a couple dozen pictures, and they were all identical except for a slight variation of facial expression. If you are going to have a lot of head shots at least give us some different perspectives, but as I said on the onset mix it up--body shots (clothed or not) different settings, etc. But be honest when dealing with people. If for whatever reason your pics aren't current (and decades old doesn't apply here) be up front in the event the other party isn't attracted to, say, a belly that hides the genitals--and remember there ARE dudes out there who live for big guys.

Had a couple of similar experiences recently, and I said exactly that!!! " Sorry, but I won't waste any more of either of our's time, coz this just isn't gonna work for me" .
Yeah, it feels heartless and perhaps a bit cold, but before we even meet, I state right up front that chemistry is everything, and I won't string anyone along just to get off. Fukkit, I can do that myself if need be ;)

I've met a few "dates" from this forum of men. And agree with the prior poster, if the date is not what you expect, pay for their drink, or meal and call it a night. I also started arranging the back up plan, just incase things didn't work out. Overall some chat time and Skype have cut down on the disappointment. Also be honest about what "type" turns you on in your profile and your chances of a hook up from heaven will increase ; )

I'm a big guy so generally I can control the situation but had quite a few hook ups where after they arrived they didn't look remotely like there pictures or they open their mouths and said something that really turned me off . I generally just say bluntly this is not going to happen as I open the door and point outside . The worse was I was in bed getting it on with a guy ,can't even remember what he said but it totally turned me off .He ended up being thrown out of my house with just his jeans on ,of course I threw the rest of his stuff out the door with him and said good bye .Something has changed online there didn't use to be so much deceit or as a lot of people are using the term cat fishing . I chg my pictures yearly but I know guys online today that have the exact same picture they did over 5 yrs ago when I move to Columbus . I actually no longer hook up to much of a hassel and the pay off is usually a let down . I still think about sex often but my little head does not lead me around by my nose anymore. Us men are like gerbils on a tread wheel constantly hunting for sex and really often wanting more but we just keep going in circles to feed our male egos .Spending endless hours online often leading to nothing or something with someone that basically ok mutual matsturbation . If your not getting the results you desire it's time to chg your stragety.

You hit the nail on the head.

After any number of hellish hookups, I learned my lesson: instead of inviting them over, meet them for coffee or a drink near your house. If you can't get through a half hour of conversation with them, you're not going to enjoy anything more intimate either. And if they're ten years older or a hundred pounds heavier than their picture, you're going to know that in advance too. If there's no meeting place near where you live, Skype them first. Photographs lie; Skype doesn't. Even five minutes of talk on camera can weed out a lot of mismatches. And if you're leery about actually talking to someone before you jump into bed with them, well then, frankly, you deserve whatever you get.

One New Year's Eve I met this guy in a bar. We agreed to get together one time soon. He called one day and told me he'd come over on the bus. He was late because he wasn't paying attention when the bus driver called out his stop. Eventually he arrived though.

We had something to eat and then we were moving toward the bedroom. But he had to use the bathroom first. He was in there for some time. Actually, a long time. Then he called because he was out of toilet paper. Well actually he had used up the very last of my toilet paper, so all I could do was pass him the paper towel roll from the kitchen.

Then next thing I knew he was calling from the bathroom because when he flushed, and the thing overflowed. Paper towels and turds floating all over my bathroom floor. Could have killed him. He put so many paper towels in the toilet that the thing got plugged. Sheesh!

So there I was down on my hands and knees cleaning up this mess. Then I took a shower of course. When I got into bed he didn't want to have sex. I just hate it when they do that. At my place you put out or you get out. But it was late and there were no more buses for him, so I let him stay. Couldn't get him out of here fast enough in the morning.

Hook-up from Hell for sure!

I'm sorry but that's hysterical. You deserve an award.

thats just sensational, thanks for sharing, i'm still laughing

OMG, this sounds like a scene from a hilarious movie..guess when it happens for real its not much fun..

In theory, I don't do hook-ups. I would always much rather get to know someone first before moving on to a physical relationship, but there seems to be very strong expectation in the gay world that you have sex then - just possibly - get to know them afterwards. To be honest, I don't usually even get a hard-on the first few times I'm with someone, though there have been exceptions.

Paradoxically, one of my worst hookups was two years ago when I met someone I fell for more-or-less at first sight. I hadn't had sex with anyone for seven years, and I was in a pretty vulnerable state of mind. We went to bed and stayed there for thirteen hours. I was utterly smitten, yet also convinced there was no future in it (I even wrote a song the next day saying so) - and I was right. We saw each other a few times over the following five weeks, then spent a "romantic" (with hellish episodes) five days in Edinburgh. He was one of the most egotistical, self-centred, arrogant people I've ever met, but incredibly good-looking and charismatic too. I should have run a mile that first time I saw him, but I let lust rule day and regretted it. Hope I learnt some lessons at least....

Gazing, I've been looking all over for you! lol I could not agree more with your comments in the first paragraph. Geez, I thought I was the only one. It does seem that in the gay community it is: "Lets have sex to see if getting to know each other is worth the trouble." Personally I think getting to know someone first actually makes the sex that much better.

And what is it with guys who have all this (I'll be nice) mis-information and photos spanning 20 years on their profiles. Do they think only the blind will respond so they will get away with it? I arranged to meet a guy at Starbucks and if he had no approached me first I would never have even known it was him. The pics were at least 10 years, 20lbs ago. When he confessed that he had not updated his age (updated? The age changes automatically based on the birth date that you enter. Not only am I not blind but I'm not stupid either.) he still lied by at least 7-8 years.

As has been suggested by others, meeting for coffee first is a great suggestion.

Here's my most memorable Hook Up From Hell: I met him years ago at a popular gay bar in L.A. I was smitten with the black fur on his chest, the black hair and stache, and his hot-macho look. He asked for my address and said he would meet me at my place. When I opened the door he greeted me in California Highway Patrol sunglasses and was carrying a back pack, which seemed odd. He sat on my couch, I offered him a beer,and he never took the shades off. He said he was from Texas, and had a pronounced southern drawl, which I found somewhat charming. He told me that he was in L.A. because he had responded to a "contest" that Marlboro had as they were looking for the "new Marlboro Man". It sounded a bit far fetched or like a publicity stunt, but considering the Marlboro Man was getting a bit leathery and ragged I thought it possible Marlboro might be retiring his boots and lasso for a more youthful image. The guy said that he had won the contest and had an agent in Hollywood. He also talked at length about Texas, but never mentioned friends or a partner, which seemed curious given his appeal. Time passed and nothing happened, so I tried to get the ball rolling by touching his Levi-covered thigh. He just kept talking and acted like he didn't notice in the least. Assuming perhaps his thigh was not exactly an erogenous zone for him, I proceeded to his crotch. (I was hardly old at the time, yet I remember feeling like some decadent, lecherous lizard, as if I was seducing some innocent adolescent!) That's when I felt something decidedly "inorganic"; it was some sort of padding but definitely NOT a penis. I recoiled, but tried to act cool. Frankly, I thought perhaps he had a colostomy bag or catheter or something..horrors! He still did not react. So I thought 'perhaps he's like a man who needs to sit down on the john to pee, maybe he requires a bed to have sex'. I thus invited him to my bed, and he plopped down, still fully clothed with his big ol' cowboy boots on. I figured he was just very nervous, so I lit a candle and debated what music to put on: Kylie Minogue? Wrong! I had no taste for Country Music at the time, but ended up putting on the closest thing I could find, hoping I could maintain a modicum of sexual passion while listening to "Rhinestone Cowboy" by Glen Campbell. However, at this point he became abruptly silent. He then began emitting intermittent deep sighs, the meaning of which I could not interpret. I tried to maintain a casual aura, and suggested he get "a bit more comfortable".(LOL) I took the lead and ended up next to him, all too vulnerable and in my skivvies. It was a windy night and my window was open, and a gust of wind then extinguished the candle, so there I was with him in near total dark. I attempted a bit more small talk, and told him I had just seen an Indiana Jones sequel. He was silent, then dropped the southern accent altogether and said "I saw a movie too." "Oh?" I replied as cheerfully as possible. "What movie?" And he sighed another deep sigh. " It's called Killing Me Softly", he said, his voice a half-whisper. I all but sprang out of bed, turned on a light and opened the door to my apartment, reminding myself to "act cool and not panic". I scanned the hall quickly to see if any of my neighbors were around but it was empty. When I returned he was back on the couch and fishing in his backpack for something. Thought for sure he was lookin' for a rope or knife, but...he was looking for his cigarettes. (Always nice to have a cig after great sex I guess!) He STILL had the sunglasses on. It was then that I realized if I threw him out or confronted him he might turn on me, so I instead thanked him for coming over. He actually asked if we could get together again sometime! So I asked him to give me his phone #. It was all intuition at that point. (This was crucial in retrospect, as I sensed he HAD to feel we had had a "normal" encounter".) He looked like a coiled snake on the couch, but then approached me tentatively, like a child, and wrote his name and # down. I then escorted him out of the building, and as he disappeared into the night I exhaled. I still have his name and # in my journal. This is the only of the 7 short stories in "Shades of Gay" based on an actual true life experience; I simply changed the circumstances to make it an online hook-up and called it "The Hook Up". My advice? If you inadvertently pick up a potentially violent snake, act cool and try not to panic; that's what saved my butt from this guy. And btw, he didn't even smoke Marlboros..

The blind date from hell is my tale. Met a middleaged man on Daddy Hunt who claimed to be 59 years old. At 55, I'm no spring chicken, but keep myself in really good shape and my pics are acurate to date. This guy had to be pushing 70-75 and apologized for the dated photo taken when Ronald Reagan was in office. I was put off, but my patrician upbringing stopped me from making a scene. Grandpa kept pawing me (we met at a bar) which was met with cool reactions from me. I was hungry for some food, so we went asian and shared plates. He did most of the talking about coming out later in life and his medical practice (psychiatrist), BORING! Wanted to know if I wouild have sex w/him at the end of the meal and when I refused, he got up threw $20 on the table and left and said "keep the change asshole"! Putting 25 year old pics on DH is lying, lying about your age is also lying, but not as offensive as the old pics or should I say "the young" pics. What kind of mental health advice does he give to his patients? LOL!!

It wasn't a hook-up from hell, but it was close. We met online. I was in Orange County at the time on business. He picked me up at my hotel in his Miata.

Strike one. A Miata.

We went to a restaurant. During the short ride, I knew I wasn't interested - and I don't play if I'm not interested. Over dinner, my end of the conversation got mostly inquisitive. When all else is lost, at least ask and learn something.

I learned he was an executive at a kids' toy company. With just one product.

Just one, I asked?

Just one, he said.

Isn't that kind of risky?



I moved on. I asked about where he'd lived. Philadelphia. New Orleans. Tucson.

Why'd you move from NO?

Long story, he said. He told it. He talked about one of his last days there. He came home to police tape around his apartment. His lover had been murdered.

Lover murdered. Conversation stopper. Strike two.

Geez, uh, that's a horror. I'm sorry. I take it Tucson was better.

Long story there too. He told the long story. Then the end came. Police tape again. Apartment. Lover murdered.

Wait, do you mean your next lover was murdered like the first one, and you came home to that same scene AGAIN?


I'm dining with a serial killer. Strike three.

I took a cab back.

OMG! That is all I have to say

I had one a while back where someone had responded to a post.We had several phone conversations and I decided to meet him on a Sunday and watch some football.When I got there I realized he wasn't who he claimed to be but I didn't want to be rude so I stayed and watched football on the couch next to him.After a few minutes he jumps on top of me and starts groping me and kissing me.As I told him to get off of me,he replies"let it happen".After a few more warnings to get off me I finally had to actually take a hold of one of his wrists and I actually bent it in a way that the wrist isn't made to bend and got him off me.After a quick glare at him to see if he was going to react,I left without further incident.I am a big guy and can handle myself but not everyone can and sometimes even the ones that can,may end up freezing during an incident like this.I always respect what the other person wants whether it is needed more time to get to know me before meeting.Stopping what I am doing if I am making someone uncomfortable(Not all of us are into the same things).The advice I have for what it's worth.Is A) take the time to get to know the guy. B).If you decide to meet the guy, make sure you meet him in a public place and C) Most important "'TRUST YOUR GUT".If it doesn't feel right,if you have that queezy feeling in your stomach that something isn't right ,it probably isn't. I got out of a bad situation but not everyone is as lucky so please be careful.Happy Hunting guys !!!

My 'hook-ups from hell' were far and between. (I think that's how the expression goes.) I've had the usual person doesn't look like their pictures or don't show up at all. Or if they do, when you meet they're nothing like they do appear. My problem is, hooking up with people, period. I've conversed with guys by either email or talking on the phone. They sounded 'normal' enough. Then came the question of getting together. I live in Jersey City, NJ. I don't drive. But I'm near some major transportation hubs. I suggest meeting early, just in case things don't work out and the person can get home early enough. Those in NYC refuse to cross the Hudson, thinking New Jersey is another planet. (Sometimes I think they're right, but that's a later story.) Then you have those who live in New Jersey, can drive but are afraid to visit. No matter how much I assure the person I DO live in a safe area, they still hesitate. Why are they online if they're afraid to travel in order to meet? I have a friend who lives 90 minutes away in PA. He comes to visit every month or so. He has no problem. Hook ups from hell falls into two categories: actually hooking up and things go south, or trying to meet and nothing happens. Yet, I know one thing - I'm not giving up.

I don't think it's that people are adverse to travel. I think it's that many people draw conclusions about folks who don't drive or own cars, particularly if they don't live in Manhattan, the only place in the country where you might not have to deal with adverse inferences drawn from the news "I don't drive."

Don't forget SF...no one questions it here if you don't drive.

I disagree. I realize while there are some in San Francisco who don't drive or own a car, the California car ethos still prevails. My observation is that those in the City who don't drive are never native Californians/San Franciscans. They're usually more recent comers with quirks. I say that as someone who spent most of his adult life in the City, descended from a long line of native San Franciscans.

I feel that if a "date" misrepresents themselves I have every right to terminate the meeting. I agree that if things go "wrong" you should terminate it immediately. No one has the right to "force" another to have sex That is called rape and is illegal. If you should find yourself in such a situation stating your rights and being willing to protect yourself will usually deflate the situation. Getting to know someone is difficult online or off and a willingness to meet a lot of guys can lead to good hookups and a good relationship. I've seen it with many of my friends,and their advice has always been 'don't give up, you could meet your partner today.But you're not going to find anyone hiding under your blankets!

I feel that if a "date" misrepresents himself I have every right to terminate the meeting. I agree that if things go "wrong" you should terminate it immediately. No one has the right to "force" another to have sex. That is called rape and is illegal. If you should find yourself in such a situation stating your rights and being willing to protect yourself will usually deflate the situation. Getting to know someone is difficult online or off and a willingness to meet a lot of guys can lead to good hookups and a good relationship. I've seen it with many of my friends,and their advice has always been "don't give up, you could meet your partner today.But you're not going to find anyone hiding under your blankets!"


I've been partnered most of my adult life so hookups are far and few, however I did learn very quickly that the image you perceive on a website rarely ever meets your expectations in the flesh. To avoid this very awkward situation is that if I do plan to meet someone I make a point of saying "lets just meet with no sexual obligation and then if there is chemistry we will take it from there". Although I find it very uncomfortable to tell someone that I have lured to my home that now I'm not interested, it was understood from the git-go that sex was only a possibility and the rejection isn't as difficult to deliver. It also makes it easier for me if I am the one rejected as we both know what the terms are.
PS. I would also recommend meeting in a public place. If a rejection goes sour at least you avoid the possibility of having to remove an angry man from your home.

My hookup arrived at my hotel room wearing pants, shirt, converse sneakers, and no socks. I swear I could smell his feet as we sat clothed on the bed. He had stinky feet. He picked up on the wall I put up eventhough I was playing it friendly. He said, 'this isn't going to work". I said, "no". He said good-bye and left. The scene took about 7 minutes. Just thinking about those smelly feet...

well, just to show another side of things, that would have turn me ON, not off (as long as the scent was one I liked. All smells are NOT equal.) So, try to remember, stinky feet can be a turn off to one guy, and an aphrodisiac to another.

I met a guy in a bar once and he wanted me so badly.... I made him wait for a month before sex....
we got into bed and i started to finger him next came this warm liquid shooting out of his hole.....chocolate milk all over my white sheets ......he made a mess of the the carpets,and the bathroom.....
after he got all cleaned up he still wanted sex......i told him no...he broke down and began to sob..... OMG i thought ...he begged to stay....then he wanted money..i gave him $60 and told him to leave... all this happened on Christmas Eve 2009..... talk about a shitty Christmas..........lol

trust your gut - my hookup "flake-dar" is pretty good, but when a buddy suggested we invite a 3rd I had previously passed on, I said OK.... he arrived, decent SUV, manners and clothes and we got to it. Then he started acting a bit odd, distracted. then he started moving to music only he heard and the play stopped. finally he stopped responding, just in his own world. I called 911 while my friend got him dressed (with no help from the guy). paramedics finally found my place and wheeled him out of my bedroom and to the hospital. my friend spoke to him in after his night in the hospital, and he swore he wasn't on anything and nothing like that had ever happened...
he picked up his SUV the next day and never contacted me again. I guess the fire department in my small town knows my story now - lol

Bad hookups ya ive had those...nothing terrible but if I could forget them I would. Lesson don't mess with the bi guys they are crazy! Guy comes over alil foreplay leaves then texts me "I hope you die" got tested all clean but panic attack was felt. He said I hate being gay no one understands me yata yata

Hey, I put in most of my profiles..."sex is easy... friendship is hard...looking for friends..." I meet people in public and sex is not part of my vocabulary/conversation for the first two-three dates,....afterwards, if I am into them, then I am willing to take to the next level. I have had some close calls, but overall it has gone well.

I recently hooked up with a really REALLY hot guy, early 30's. Incredible body, etc. His first email to me was something like "Your son wants you bad Pa..." or some such.

So...cutting to the chase...we were doing it and his female side came out big time; every few moments screaming really loudly "FUCK ME DADDY". It was almost hilarious except I live in cheap (yet expensive NOW East Village coop building and sound travels!). Anyway I think I ended up servicing my "son of the moment" manually and/or orally, embarrassing but I don't even recall. I do recall this cat was so self-involved and such a narcissist (I can be too but not when it comes to being with somebody) that--as he was opening the door to leave I said "You didn't even ask me if I wanted to get off" and he looked at me like I'd just thrown a big slice of guilt pie in his face. Again the lesson is burned into me--if it's completely on the level of a fetish or a fantasy ("Your son wants you bad Pa"), chances are even the sex ain't gonna be THAT good! Reflecting, I should have asked what he was into, but the goal was a free massage exchange and we did do that, Thank God. Guess when that's the objective, all bets are off. At least you have some kind of healing touch going on even though the happy ending may be more of an ending than happy!


Okay, so here goes.

If you plan only a "hookup," then you're saying , " I don't care to get to know YOU. I just want sex and you're there." Otherwise, in my ancient years, you have a date, which means, you meet, talk, get to know each other. On a "date," there's no obligation to have sex, the presumption being you are interested in the PERSON.
In a 'hookup,' you takes your chances.

That I found interesting was reading the responses, and then reading the profiles of the poster. IN several cases, the poster posits that he's a nice caring guy - but then says if someone doesn't put out, they get out. In another case, the poster is married. Now, I'm being a big sharp here (I used to be a detective, so excuse the directspeak, but throwing people out because you're "the big guy" is bullying them. Why not just say, would you please leave? It isn't always striking me that the posters are not themselves "the hookup from hell."
I had a guy I liked make a comment about White people (as you can see from my photo, I'm apparently Black. In reality, half-Black. Guess what the other half is?)

So, I don't like Black dates making comments about white guys when we're getting to know each other, and I definitely don't like White guys who think my IQ is 90, when it's a ways higher than that. Being subtly put down for one's ethnic background, effeminateness, intellect, or any other trait puts a guy into a "hookup from hell" for me, REGARDLESS of whether or not the guy gets as far as my living room.

A hookup from hell is a guy who says he's one thing and is, in reality, another, whether physically, OR emotionally. And especially the "nice" guys who, when it gets down to actually BEING nice and showing that niceness is a genuine virtue, turn to vitriol. Or violence.

Several years ago I was chatting regularly with a traveling construction worker about my age (reportedly) and I enjoyed the chats. He was headed east with his Fifth-wheel and we decided to meet. I was hot for what he had shown me online so invited him to attend a Christmas party (come and go) with me and have dinner afterward. Of course the sex was implied (or stated, I'm not sure. No, I'm sure!).

First awkward moment: I opened the door to a face I didn't recognize. Oh wait, I see it in the eyes.

Second awkward moment: When he arrived he had parked his Fifth-wheel about 60 miles south of me to avoid the mountains. So, I guessed he was planning on staying the night. but what the hell? I didn't even recognize him.

Third awkward moment: At the Christmas party my close friends kept telling me what a cute couple we made. Huh? I didn't even recognize him!

Fourth awkward moment: After dinner and deciding it was not cool to give him a bed on the love seat, and not willing to take the floor myself, I invited him to share the bed. I also decided to let the sex thing happen even though....I didn't even recognize him, damnit.

Fifth awkward moment: After coming to bed and turning out his light he fumbled about with something then ducked under the covers to give me head. Actually I was okay with that....until I realized he had taken out his teeth. At this time I am wondering where else this experience is going.

Sixth and last awkward moment: He kissed me without his teeth.
I'm Done here!


Ok, one guy really up tight hedge fund manager, seemed cool at first but really only wanted to rub on my forearms and touch my feet. I mean he didn't kiss, didn't want to suck or fuck or jack off, was completely uninterested in me, didn't hardly look me in the eye. He could care less about what I was interested in either. He came and because he was hot with a big cock I jacked myself off as well. But I felt like a prostitute afterwards.

Another time I met a couple at a bar, they were way older then the pics or stats they had posted. But nice so we made out, but they kept drinking until they were drunk, even when I suggested if they wanted some lovin we should get back to the hotel room. After they were sloppy they hooked up with another much younger cuter guy so against my better judgement went back to their room. It was gross out. Soft floppiness for hours, slimy cool tongue with creeper little baby voice, etc. etc. I gave it the old college try but what a waste. I ducked out with the other guy when he went to leave to "walk him to the car". I took a long hot shower.

Never follow up with drunks, always trust your gut, just say sorry it ain't working for me tonight.

I've never been very good at random online hook ups but decided one night (many years ago) to meet up with this man for a drink. We met at a local bar down the street. He seemed nice enough and the conversation never stalled or got awkward so I decided to take him up on his invitation and go back to his place with him. We got to his apt and he offered me a glass of wine. After a few minutes of small talk, we laid down on the bed and started rolling around and making out. Before I knew it, we were both naked and he asks me if I liked to be tied up. I told him I had never been tied up before and was a little reluctant, but agreed after he said if I didn't like it, he would untie me. It seemed exciting.
So there I was, on my back, spread eagle and naked on his bed. First he ties my hands to the bedpost, then my feet. It wasn't so bad, I thought. He proceeds to play with my nipples and suck on my dick and then all of a sudden he gets up, looks at me with kind of a side eye, and in a creepy Jack Nicholson way says, "I'll be right back... don't go anywhere..." OMG. I about died. as soon as he left the room, my life started flashing before me... I thought for sure he went to the kitchen to get a knife or something and was going to murder me. So I started yelling out, "Hey!!.... hey!! heeeeeeyyyyyy!!!" (I couldn't remember his name). Finally he comes back after what seemed like forever. "What's wrong??" he says. I said "Untie me! now! Where did you go?" "To get another glass of wine" he says. Seriously?
Let's just say to this day I haven't let anyone else tie me up. lol