Your Sexual Skill Set

April 29, 2013

It can be pretty mind blowing when you sync up with someone your dating or hooking up with sexually. For all the variable that go into the relationship equation, when 2 bodies together equal great sex, I'd call that a big win. Everyone brings something different to the sexual table, whether that's giving good head, good rim jobs, or being one hell of a great kisser, and this is when we can take these superlative studs and learn from them. After all sexual exploration is all about experience and gaining knowledge about what you like/don't like and learning new techniques. I would say of all the reasons to have an open relationship, bringing home something new to your skill set is one of the least discussed. And it can do wonders for your sex life. Even as a singleton, when you find someone who's the best at what they do, it can be life changing. It had been a while since I had a great kisser in my life and recently dated someone that reminded me of how good it can be when lips works together to make magic.

But now I want to open the floor to all of you, think of the comments as a sales floor and sell us on your best sexual skill set is. Or tell us a tale of the best you've ever had below.

Tags: Sex, Blow Jobs, Kissing, Rim Jobs
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Post written by RobHeartsDH (View Author Profile)
About this author: Rob lives in Manhattan with his black pug Riley. When he’s not thinking about daddies, he enjoys writing, eating burritos, watching copious amounts of television, and thinking about his next meal.
View all posts by RobHeartsDH


As I always emphasize, it is not what I want, but what I have to offer, that determines my success in a relationship of any sort. And, as is mentioned in the set up for this forum, my former partners enhanced our relationship by bringing in new skills that they learned from others while we were together. I hope I did the same.
For me to feel successful as a Gay man and, indeed, as a human being, means putting out some energy for my partner. I am constantly amazed at those who somehow assume that the man of their dreams is going to enter their life, sweep them off their feet and love them forever WITH NO EFFORT ON THEIR PART! Yes, anything worth having means I have to put out some effort. When it is for someone who reciprocates and meets my needs as well, it is really no effort, but a pleasure and a privilege to have a caring man in my life.
I have learned skills from a few very talented Gay men. I cherished them and wholeheartedly learned from them. I am currently privileged to be spending time with a man much younger than me, but who has great sexual and relationship skills.
I suspect "skills" are more a matter of willingness to learn from others and an appreciation that, yes, we need to have something to offer if we wish to receive.

I have an ABNORMALLY tight hole.

That is NOT always an ASSet. ;-) Especially when you're dating older men. It's like SHOES: right fit, neither too tight, nor too loose.

It's been my experience that my sexual partners have preferred tighter to looser (average-loose hole) or REALLY looser (holes that belong to guys who get fisted regularly.)

I think it is having a great tactile skill; knowing the sensitive places on the body, and how to stimulate them.

Have been told that I have magic hands. So I think that is a great skill to share with partners, which can enhance other actions going on.

I've been told the same thing countless times... magic hands. And a furry masculine man gets them roaming the quickest and most willingly. My furry inner thighs are particularly erotic and I seek out their major sensitive areas for my lovers and "tricks" to please them and make our encounters mutually enjoyable. After all, that's the best way to get repeat customers!

Yes^^ touch is how it begins, or ends--and is a reflection of how your partner "feels" about you and themselves.

Hi, Rob --

Why does this site list a dozen bloggers when it seems that almost all of the blog posts are written by you?

I love your writing and your perspective. I just wonder why they make you share credit with some guys who only post once a year and some who never do.

Have a great week, sexy man.

For me it is about how a man works the end of my cock. Specifically the piss slit. I have met a couple of men that have amazing skills with their tongues and the piss slit. I have since tried it on men and it drives them over the top. So take your tongue roll it at the tip and work it in the piss slit all I can say and all your partner will say is WOW.

Just because you like it doesn't mean everyone does.
Thankfully everyone is not the same.

You just said a mouthful.

being a part time gay man I don't get to practice as much as I should, so I really don't think I bring alot to the game. Every once in a while I will have a guy give me suggestions and I think that is great. Finding guys who just want to suck,rim and kiss and cuddle dosen't seem to be that easy.So, between that and being married,don't get or give much. Trying to remember how a guy uses his mouth/tounge till the next time I get a hook up is a hinderence to me. I mainly get my pleasure at the baths,so not alot of repeat buds. I have been told I kiss well and am a heavy shooter, I guess that's my skill set. Sad,huh.

I have been told I have a magic mouth. From being the only person to get them off with a BJ or just kissing someone until they creamed. It has gotten me a great reputation with the men in my area...unfortunately...i don't care for the men in my area...they creep me out haha

Hmmmm.... I've been told I'm good with my hands. Though it's been literally months since I've had a sexy encounter so I'm running on less than great data.

I find a lot of men are not really aware of their own prostate glands. SERIOUSLY. One of my favorite techniques is to massage my partner's prostate with a well-lubed finger while I "administer" oral sex simultaneously. I freely admit to having an ulterior (and anterior) motive! I'm trying to get my partner all hot to bottom for me, and it has been a successful technique. I like the feeling of the prostrate as it swells as my partner gets hotter and is about to explode. Of course, that is KNOWLEDGE, and we don't want to pot to boil over too soon, so to speak. But when it is the right time, I love feeling with my finger(s) as the gland grows from the size of an acorn to the size of a walnut. You KNOW your buddy is about to explode. I love "selfish sex," when it's all about MY pleasure, but I also love the POWER I have to reduce at least some men to a "mass of blathering protoplasm" by playing them like a Stradivarius. Half the joy of sex is about giving your partner that degree of joy and pleasure.

If you do something several times a week for several decades, you want to learn and get better with it, but REPRESSION keeps us from talking about these things. If you want to get better at playing a sport or a musical instrument, you hire a teacher or a coach. But when it comes to sex, we just fumble through on our own. I also credit the porn industry for introducing us all to positions and such we may never have imagined on our own. Sex is one of the GREATEST gifts from our Creator, and we should enjoy it FULLY. People take cooking classes, and there are THOUSANDS of books to help you with that. But we have WHAT? Maybe two or three books about the joys of gay sex? I'm really glad this forum is taking on this topic.

Bravo ! ! ! ! Like Samantha Jones from Sex and the City or Blanche Devereaux from the Golden Girls, it is refreshing to see someone who unabashedly proclaims the laurels of sex and freely exercises the privilege . Since we will never conceive children with our coupling, the one and only reason for men to have sex with each other is mutual pleasure, on any and all levels of which we are capable.

The world is ready for a 4th book on the joys of gay sex and I believe you should write it my friend.

I've been told by many that I'm a great kisser and it is something I love to do. Surprising how many guys are out there that say they don't like kissing. I've been able to turn a few that let me show them how great it is and a few that got off just from me kissing them. Good kissing generally Leeds to good sex.

Your post was very thoughtful and encouraging and, as we used to say, "sex-positive." I really appreciate that! I've noticed that even in their bio's many younger guys say what the don't want rather than what they do and seem to have adopted a posture of cynicism that I don't fine sexy at all. Misterapp however is the friendliest on these sites by far! I also appreciate your discussing open relationships in such a functional way - it can be good for your sex life with your partner! That's great. Thanks again for your upbeat and encouraging post from this daddy and I'm sure many others. :)

What a cool article and question... I have to admit, I don't have much experience since I have only came out to myself 2 years ago... but what I have learned is I am turned on by how guys look at me. If exploring my body is getting them hot, then I am turned on as well. I love swallowing dick and I am told by my partner I am great at it. I wasn't a bottom, but have learned to be versatile... as a matter of fact when I get turned on I beg for it ; )

I love to kiss, and love a good kisser. What a great way to get hard and get ready for action. My favorite position is the good ole doggy style mount from behind, it just feels so natural and primal.... Ok, getting turned on just talking about it ; )

living my youth/20s/30s in NYC during the 1970s 80s and early 90s.. and especially pre aids..was an amazing sexually exploratory experience...the big NY parties/baths/the "island" and more....gave me a wide range of sexual opportunitys and experiences..things that one really cant do anymore safely...the butch/leather scene was in full bloom...what more do in need to was expanive and being welcomed in it was a privilidge to remember.......thats where I and many gay men in the NYC club/gym/bath scene learned and experienced the 'art' of sex.......and the use of ones body and mind to experience full on eros. I did lose many friends but as far as the experience of multi dimensional sex was quite a tool kit of the art of sensuality

You nailed it! I came out on the bicentennial 4th of July in 1976 and those times were the most free and best. I didn't have your huge N.Y.C. environment to come out in, but San Diego's was hot and thriving year round. The Levi/Leather scene was at its peak and the art of sex was never more uninhibited. I'm glad to have had around 10 years of unrestricted FUN before the AIDS crisis hit.
I STILL have great times and spent my best time EVER at the huge 3 1/2 acre resort called CCBC in Palm Springs this past weekend. I call it a 3 1/2 acre outdoor bathhouse and have not seen or heard of anything comparable anywhere in the world, Amsterdam, Berlin, London or elsewhere. You can "cruise" comfortably, totally NAKED, all night long. AWESOME is the only way to describe it!

Call me Shakira; I have an "oral fixation" I guess: blowjobs, nipple play, and kissing. I have been told I'm a great kisser, which I see as a matter of neither "pecking and holding back to the point there is no conveyance of passion to one's partner" nor "smothering with a rabid and reptilian tongue"; both can take the encounter into a nosedive. One must listen with one's body and read the responses of one's partner, as with any sexual activity. I have seen men, especially older men, get blown for 10-15 minutes, and then, when a third party kisses them while being blown they go over the top! Isn't sex great? It refuses to be predictible and retains an element of mystery as few other experiences in life do.

I have been told that I have a great mouth, whether its kissing or something else. The counter there is that I have a massive gag reflex, I'm working on taking jasun's advice and eating more dick. Lol
I was with a guy that because of his tiny cock had mastered some touching skills and some fisting did occur. I believe he did not get more than 4 fingers but what he did with them quite literally left me unable to speak for about 20mins. It was one of the most intense orgasms of my life. If anal sex were like that all the time I would exclusively be a bottom. At the same time however, why would I deny myself the pleasure of giving a like experience to my partner?

I have always been told that I have good hands. I like a lot of foreplay and take time to try to make sure my partner cums 3 or 4 times [or as many as he], so that I know he's satisfied and would like more next time.

Haven't had any complaints yet with this philosophy....grin~!

Being of a different mindset than most....I find that actually being a father...parent and grandfather brings a rather unique blend to the table and bedroom. Loving the arena of exploration of all oral a very pleasing experience for myself and my lover. The problem is not in the bedroom but getting there. I can only assume age is a deterent in my life. I have no problem with going anywhere in the sack.....and really do mean that. I know how to please a top sexually and not just offering up my bottom....nice and semi tight allbeit. Rimming and jacking him off at the same time being just one of my favorite past times.

It's "someone you're dating", not "someone your dating"

OOOPs the spelling Police arrived ...

You mean grammer polise ; )

The best part of being in a relationship is exploring new techniques together, from erotic touch, kissing, deep throat or just head. Tantric to full on jack hammering, I just started a new relationship after a terrible breakup of an LTR, and it sure does get better. But the most important and fulfilling part about sex is the emotion, and not just going through the motions. Listen to your partner, tell your partner what's good and what's not comfortable. And always lots of cuddling and eye gazing bc w out that you only f#%&'d and didn't make love.

If you have a cat, and you treat it properly, you will be rewarded with purring and strong signs of affection. If she (the cat) doesn't like what you do, she'll tell you, by moving away, by looking at you, by running away, or by scratching or biting. you. The best place to practice good sex technique is with you cat.
When you're with a guy, you similarly find the spots that make him "purr" and focus on them. His nipples for example, demand more and more force, in small increments, as the sex progresses. Same with the guy's skin. Feel him all over, notice what he responds to and what he doesn't respod to, and what he doesn't like at all, then go back to the good parts and work on them.
That's my "cat theory" of good sex. Works great with bondage, bdsm, too.

I can be very submissive in bed. All about tops pleasure.

I like to get my partner off, so if he is a top I am an insatiable bottom, if he is oral I worship his cock with gusto, if he wants to get fucked I am the aggressive top and so on including toys and some pain etc.

I don't get into piss and I am working on my issue with eating a guys ass out. All in the name of pleasing my partner and my partner now likes his but munched so…

So my skill set is pleasing my partner.