Let's Talk About $ex

January 23, 2013

Money for sex has been around since the beginning of time. It's one of those fun facts that pop up at bars and parties: prostitution being the world's oldest profession. I was recently talking to a friend who's an escort and he was lamenting how hard it is to find someone to date given his line of work. We talked about it at length citing all the reasons it could be a problem for someone: jealousy issues, judgmental friends and family, safety, etc. But even today and with how open and configurable relationships and minds can be, it still seems like dating a sex worker can be a little taboo. I'm curious, what people's thoughts on the matter are. For the purposes of this conversation, let's use the word "sex worker" as a catchall for hookers, escorts, and porn stars. I add porn stars because while we all have fantasies about them, I wonder how okay everyone is with actually dating one. It may come down to something as simple as, I need someone who's got a 9 to 5 job - but what if they do? I think it's easy to write sex workers off as lacking substance, but I know plenty with brains, grace, and heart that lead pretty normal lives. And it's my belief that no one on this earth is any position to judge so what's the big deal?

Here's a few questions for you that should incite some lively conversations in the comments below. Feel free to answer any and all that you're comfortable with:

1. Would/Have you ever date/d a sex worker? If so, what was your experience.
2. Would/Have you ever pay/paid for sex or company? If so, what was your experience.

Tags: sex for money, what would you do, Porn Stars, escorts
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Post written by RobHeartsDH (View Author Profile)
About this author: Rob lives in Manhattan with his black pug Riley. When he’s not thinking about daddies, he enjoys writing, eating burritos, watching copious amounts of television, and thinking about his next meal.
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Comments

There may be a point somewhere on the continuum between promiscuity and fidelity that makes sense for a number of young gay men. I have not personally had sex with a sex worker or a port star, so I'm not qualified to speak from experience.

I don't think that I would ever pay for sex, although at one time I almost fell for a scam where a person said he would come live with me if I paid his transportation, so maybe a fine line there.

The difficulty for most older/younger relationships might lie in proximity and life pursuits. As an older man, I have become comfortable in my present location, so I'm not eager to move. The place I live is not particularly conducive for those young men seeking education or careers... so that presents a challenge.

I'm still old fashion enough to feel that a lot depends on the chemistry between two people. I'm not so horny that I need sex, even though I do enjoy it. But to have somebody that I can connect
with and communicate and share life, that would be great. Thanks for your post!

Oceanlad

Good am so happy to ear this from you this iis the kind of relationship am seeking for and I will love to read more from you on my personal email adderess henrywaliusnoop/@/y/a/o/o/./c/o/m. Smile I LOVE you

Speaking of those transportation scams, a friend of a friend was vulnerable after the death of a loved one, and reportedly sent about $10,000 to Russia so that a dude could come live with him. Scam. Sad.

I'm confused why some people pay for sex when they can find perfectly nasty guys that will WILLINGLY do kinky shit and for FREE to boot!

Because some people are butt-ugly and they have run out of alcohol.

Hello every one. I am a black, out gay and disabled man, who lived in East London, UK. I can understand why some men pay for sex. They do it because they can and they can get the sex they want, instead of trying to get if for free - eg. go out on the scene and hope some ones else wants you; They is no waiting and no mind games. Alot of us has sex so why waste time, right?

As a artist, I could and willing to work with a male escort/porn star on a film/video/photography/script/stage play idea. Even ought this would not be accpetable, within the clean industry. But you know what? The adult industy is worth $5billion or so a year in the US, £3billion in UK. I do not see anything to be narrow minded about.

On the other hand, I could work with a porn star/escort/model. Because I respect them as human beings, not as fresh meat with no brains or bad goods. Maybe some are and others are not. and understand that they have a job that they are good at. Sex to many men who work in the sex industry is a job/career. I personal understand and respect that - I am no better than they are. I would also be happy to have an open releationship if I were in the situaltion. For the person I am I could love more then one man, but that is besides the point.

Once on gumtree.co.uk ( a free website notice board), I placed an ad for a friendship or a 1-2-1 ad for a porn star or male escort who is either gay or bisexual. No one replied. I think that is a real shame. That is what I think. Others can and may disagree.

PS I am happy for any male gay and or bisexual porn stars, and male escorts to message me up on daddyhunt (mastermatthew) for a chat online, friendship or and 1-2-1, or a guilded tour of London (if needed). I am not all I appear to be on my profile.

Take care,
(Master) Matthew

Young guys today are not shy about asking for money for sex and do not see this as escorting, hustling or prostitution--it's just friends with benefits! Older guys need to get over their jealousy, labels and hetero ideas of relationships that do not apply to dudes!

If you accept money for having sex, you're a prostitute. Plain and simple.

Not saying there's anything wrong with being a prostitute, but certainly we all agree that there's not much honor in being a prostitute. I have no moral obligations to prostitution though.

And if you marry a rich old guy (waiting for him to plop his clogs) does make you a prostitute too? same thing you get paid to have sex.

Anyway each to his own. Let the free market rule. And don't judge others.

"And if you marry a rich old guy (waiting for him to plop his clogs) does make you a prostitute too? same thing you get paid to have sex"

Yes, it DOES make you a prostitute. But as I said previously, there's nothing wrong with that. Also I have nothing against a mutually beneficial relationship - if some guy wants to fuck me and pay my college tuition, he's getting his dick worked on by someone eager to make money. It's disingenuous to make it seem like the person getting money is the ONLY one benefiting. I think the guys getting their dicks sucked would say that it's a pretty sweet deal.

This really depends on how you define "honor" and where you think you might find it.
I would rather spent a hour listening to a sex worker talking of his/her life than the
many allegedly honourable religious leaders politicians bankers and coporate muderers

Peace and love from London:-)

Agreed with the honour comment... It's all perspective. Honor comes from integrity. If you live with integrity then your actions are honorable even if they are considered unsavory by others.

And people need to get over labels. Our brains work on labels. They make reality manageable. If nothing had a name or a label shit would be all fucked up. If you can't stand labels then go into your kitchen and spray paint every container black. "Oh shit, are these the creamed corn or the whole kernel?" "I think that's the dog food." Fuck it, it's just a label.

"And it's my belief that no one on this earth is [in] any position to judge so what's the big deal?"

That statement reminded me of Philosophy 101. Rhetorical questions:

Does your belief apply only to hookers, escorts, and porn stars...or is anyone on this earth ever in a position to judge anything?

Suppose prostitution is illegal and a case comes before a judge. Is he or she in a position to judge the case?

Suppose hookers and escorts are knowingly having sex with married people. Some call that "adultery." Are they in no position to judge?

Just for contrast, here's what one Bible-based belief system says: "The Bible tells us that prostitution is immoral...Prostitution not only destroys marriages, families, and lives, but it destroys the spirit and soul in a way that leads to physical and spiritual death."

Belief systems which are not based on the Bible, especially pagan/statism, sometimes lead off into relative and ambiguous haze, settled by a Dear Leader. Other non-biblical belief systems condone activities like honor killing.

Switching from philosophical to practical, sex worker suggests promiscuity, which suggests incurable viruses.

well, i suspect the "Judging" premmise here is more than a little misguided, however, my only real and pertenant comment is that incurable viruses are the direct result of unsafe practices, not promiscuity !

You can assert and choose to believe that promiscuity can be safe. But everyone should be aware of evidence to the contrary. John B. Shea MD states "There is no such thing as 'safe' promiscuous sex..." http://www.lifeissues.net/writers/she/she_35safersexillusion1.html Two quotes from his article: "Promiscuous sexual intercourse exposes a person to all the diseases to which both parties have been exposed because of previous sexual encounters." "There is much evidence today that the condom can fail to prevent leakage of HIV virus."

I'll play into the religious aspect. What happened to "Judge not lest ye be judged" or something very close to that. I believe that the judging referred to is personal judging and nothing to do with legal judging.

I have not paid for sex. Would I date a sex worker...I hope it would depend on the individual. I try to look at each individual rather than as a group be it sex workers, plumbers or even preachers.

As a side note, I live less than 5 miles from Pat Robertson's Regent University and the home of the 700 Club. That does not mean I have to believe what is said there.

Maybe we should swap houses. I live near a gay hot spot, Rehoboth Beach, and almost never go there. As a member of the 700 Club, I would be happy to live near Regent University.

There's a lot of talk about Judeo-Christians imposing their beliefs on others, but no one imposes their beliefs on others like anti-Judeo-Christian bigots. It's not difficult to name 50 atheist tyrants who are each responsible for murdering 20,000 or more of their dissenting countrymen. Abortion used to be illegal in most states; now about 55 million have died from them, and statists like Obama are happy to force Judeo-Christian taxpayers to pay for abortions. The signers of the Declaration of Independence were predominantly devout Christians, but they built a society notable for its tolerance of other belief systems.

People may disagree on the meaning of "Judge not..." The interpretation I subscribe to is that we are not to judge others by a different moral standard than we apply to ourselves, i.e., hypocrisy.

Believers in the Bible and in a civil society are obligated to respectfully call out behavior which is sinful and destructive. That can't be done without judging.

I agree with what you said, except about the Founders being Christian. The subscribed to Judeo-Christian PHILOSOPHY, not the religious aspect of it as Jefferson and many of them were Deists.

There is a difference between the philosophy and religion.

Just my 2 cents. Actually got this from Bill O'Reilly, who used to be a HS history teacher before he went on to bigger and better things. He's about the only talking head on cable that makes sense...on either side of the political aisle.

You actually believe that Bill O'riley makes sense???

You cannot be serious.. can you?

It's generally believed that 52 of the 56 signers of the Declaration of Independence were Christians, some would say devout Christians. You can see a list of the signers, along with the denominations to which they belonged, on the 'Net. About 27 of them reportedly had seminary degrees.

Jefferson and Franklin are often cited as exceptions. Graduates of Mr. Jefferson's University, myself included, have a special interest in his spiritual side. As president he reportedly rode on horseback to attend Sunday Christian services in the Capitol building. He called Christianity the greatest system of ethics known to man. The Jefferson Bible is a subset of the New Testament. Franklin may have been the least religious of the Founding Fathers, but reportedly said: "If men are so wicked with religion, what would they be without it?"

I'm neither pagan nor statist. In order for me to find these transactions to be immoral, I'd have to see that one person or the other is being harmed. Certainly there are times in which that would be the case. For example if someone had been forced into prostitution or was kicked out of their parents' house for being gay at 16 and had no other options. Obviously those are harmful situations. The remedy to those situations is not to send those people to jail. I suppose it does harm a marriage if a man (or woman) is having sex with prostitutes, but that person would be doing nothing wrong that wouldn't be equally wrong if no money changed hands for the sex. So that's besides the point.

I can tell right from wrong without the Bible, thank you very much. That Bible condones slavery and genocide. I obviously see the immorality in both of those things. I'm curious why the authors of the Bible did not. If a man who is not married has sex with another person in exchange for money, who is harmed in that transaction? If there is no harm, why is it immoral?

A lot of ground is covered in your post. Regarding the Bible and slavery..."You have to have a real ax to grind against the Bible to think that the Old Testament takes a benign view of slavery…The Old Testament is unquestionably anti-slavery….No culture on earth questioned the morality of slavery until Christians did the questioning…the people who actually risked life and limb to end slavery were almost all, without exception, devout Christians." (Robert J. Hutchinson "The Politically Incorrect Guide to the Bible")

Regarding the Bible and genocide: In ancient times, military defeat often meant slaughter or slavery. I am guessing that you in mind the fate of peoples like the Amalekites at the hands of the Israelites. The deal as I see it is: Unless God is chastising them for infidelity, expect to die if you go to war against His chosen people. Also: if your culture flaunts idolatry, anything-goes sexuality, infanticide, and other behavior considered provocative to God, you just might be vulnerable to extinction.

I think this topic started by asking if anyone has or would date a sex worker. The Principle of Harm is a guide as to when society can limit individual liberty. In most of the world prostitution is considered a social evil. The effects on male prostitutes have not been studied as extensively as the effects on female prostitutes, but most of the problems apply, perhaps to a lesser extent: "At an individual level, the harm is physical, social, emotional, and psychological...
Symptoms include acute anxiety, depression, insomnia, irritability, flashbacks, emotional numbing, poor concentration and being in a state of emotional and physical hyper-vigilance and alertness. Suicide attempts and depression feature strongly." Drug and alcohol abuse is not unusual. Even Sweden makes it illegal to buy sex (although not illegal to sell it).

Everyone can have their own system of right and wrong, but does that morality have an objective standard? If not, it could be whatever suits a person this hour, this day, this week, or this month. Can a woman marry a building? Is abortion harmful? Should the federal government use force to take money from one citizen and then give it to another to buy his vote? Is blasphemy harmless? Can anyone truly say that they have not lied, cheated, stolen, and/or blasphemed and therefore deserve to go to heaven?

I assume homosexuality is on your list of absolute wrongs as well? If so, what are you doing here.

I didn't use the phrase "absolute wrong" and don't claim to fully understand it.

From a biblical perspective, blasphemy, murder, and adultery are sins based on the Ten Commandments.

Homosexuality isn't in there.

Some say Leviticus 18:22 condemns homosexuality. Others disagree.

"Homosexuality" can have two meanings: (1) sexual attraction to the same gender, and (2) sexual activity based on that attraction.

No reasonable person thinks that the (1) attraction itself is sinful or wrong. Sin must be voluntary.

Maybe the (1) attraction is why I'm here.

The (2) sexual activity is a tougher topic...more than can be covered in a few sentences.

Celibacy and abstinence are very honorable, but we are sexual beings and I do not personally think that celibacy is a realistic or reasonable expectation for most gay men. When male beauty, genitalia, fetishes, orgasms, and gay sex crowd out and replace a relationship with God, that is a big problem. It's idolatry. Idolatry plays a key role in Romans 1. I think it played a key role in Sodom and Gomorrah also.

I certainly am a sinner, and that is what makes being a Christian so important -- it provides a path to a pardon for all sins.

i'm 58, i have always had a good strong following of guys who are interested and still do (maybe 5 to 10 offers a week)

I have travellled the world extensively and have found that the entire concept of sexuality varies enormously depending on where you are.

I know and have known many sex workers on a social and very personal level, i also know quite a few EX sex workers who have comfortably blended back into obscurity.

There are many reasons why a guy might pay for sex, but personally, on the odd occasion that i have chosen to do this, it was because, under normal circumstances, i tend to be a pleasure giver rather than a pleasure taker(nothing to do with top/bottom).........so, the choice to pay a man for sex, is for me, an indulgence without complications.

Anyone who has known sex workers would also know that they are by far the cleanest, healthiest guys you are likely to meet !

The sex workers i know at this time of my life (one of them an ex partner) are well educated, intelligent and honest guys with their heads screwed on.

All of them except one have healthy relationships and dont really seem to struggle to find nice guys intelligent enough to come to terms with their chosen occupation.

However, i'm not so blind that i don't see, the drug affected boys who are feeding a destructive habit, i just sincerely hope they find their way through to older age.

I'm sorry if i seem to preach, but i often find that Gay Men can be the most intollerent of of all.

cheers

Denis

Also it's really good that you're getting your dick wet at 58, Lords.

Tell me about it, its the real reason!

ihi im glen 25 yrs old im here to find my lifetime partner...hope one of you are willing to like me...thanks

Older guys sometimes offer to pay me, after we've had sex (willingly and with no promise of cash.) I don't want their blood money, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't tempted. It's free money, after all and college tuition isn't cheap.

Hey intotrouble,

Someone like yourself and I together, it would not be "blood money" but my desire to just grant you a special gift...not that it would happen every time but, knowing school, books, food and rent takes up money, and if I have extra then so be it...I want you to enjoy and be spoiled a bit, not be with me just because of the money, but for fun....:)

I guess it depends on what the individuals want and are willing to negotiate.

For me, paid sex. like on my recent trip to Thailand (where anti-sexual patriarchal religion doesn't enter into the culture), is for recreation, not affirmation, and neither of us thinks there's anything emotional involved, we play safe, and they leave when its over. That's why even Hollywood stars have been known to have sex workers - they pay is not for sex, but for discretion, and for leaving when it's over.

Very different from sex in a relationship that entails a whole lot more.
A relationship with a worker - a lot would have to be negotiated, like safety, schedule, etc., but much in life is negotiable. This would just be another factor.

Most str8 boys get it worked out by about age 14 that you better be cashed up if you want something nice on your arm. Then some pay a fortune over a lifetime for the privilege of a fat wife who often ends up despising them.

I've done it all, and formed some very loving though unexpected relationships with sex workers. I usually have plenty of money, and wouldn't expect a guy who's short on cash to feel poor when he's with me. Short-term or long-term. There's no such thing as free love.

But straightforward sex-for-$$$ isn't romantically or even sexually satisfying. I'm happy to be involved with a sex worker as long as what he does is clean. I don't feel jealousy if I know he's happy getting something from me he's not getting on the job. I've found such guys to be generally emotionally honest, and deeply appreciative of being cared for for the sake of being cared for.

We're not as open about sex as we sometimes pretend to be. For sexual maverics we're sometimes painfully suburban and judgmental.

sooooo true

GIMME MONEY NOW

These are all interesting observations. I have known a lot of "dancers" over the last 20+ years since one of my good friends is an agent who books dancers. They have slept at my house when they danced in my city. Most of them came home, showered and put on sweats to sleep in, got up in the morning, showered and dressed, and I almost never saw a square inch of skin other than what you'd normally see on the street. They were clean, quiet and mostly polite. Most of them insisted on buying me a meal in return for my hospitality. In most cases, I could go run errands with no fear that they would steal while I was gone (I chalk that up to my agent friend as much as the individual dancers). One year, one of the really beautiful guys danced in my city and stayed with me on my birthday weekend. His gift was that he came home, got undressed and spent all his home time that weekend naked! There were 3 or 4 guys who I know hooked out of the bars, with whom I would never have had sex, but they were a small percentage of the dancers I met during those years. So yes, there are sluts all over the place, but they are not confined to "sex workers," many of those dancers are now lawyers, doctors, CPAs and other kinds of respected, accepted professionals. They simply used dancing as the way to earn enough money for college while still keeping enough hours free for attending class and studying.

It takes understanding and communciation, hrad work and a clear view of what's a realistic goal. I have often thought that dating a 'sex worker' would be ideal--- a skilled partner, and that sex would not be an issue. Onyl the mind. Where do you find such men who are willing to date? Let me know...

Dated a sex worker after he no longer worked as such and before I knew he had been. Continued after I found out.

Sex was one thing, Love was another thing, it was difficult to bring them together in the bedroom.

He also got very upset if I ever tried to help him out with money.

Very nice guy, helped me become a little more street smart.

p.s. Never paid for sex even at my age now, never taken money for sex although I had been offered when I was younger.

Each to his own. There are advantages and disadvantages to everything.

In a way it must be flattering to think if this guy (the porn star, for example) has had sex with so many amazing people and he chooses YOU. But that's on a really superficial level. I guess the same as sex workers: they get paid for it from others, but not from you. But I would wonder if they would be so tired of sex by the time they had finished working. On the other hand, a lot of professional chefs also enjoy doing the cooking at home (a good analogy, I think).

Porn stars are NOT having sex with "amazing people" they're having sex with porn stars. Most porn stars lack the entire left hemisphere of their brain, this has been proven by science.

1. Would/Have you ever date/d a sex worker? If so, what was your experience.
2. Would/Have you ever pay/paid for sex or company? If so, what was your experience.
------------------------
I think both of these instances depend on the circumstances in which they occur. Given the way things are at this moment in my life, semi-retired, working short and long term contract positions I likely would not do either of these.

If, however, I was in a situation for work whereby I needed to travel, paying for something like this from time to time would definitely be a consideration... safely, of course. With sites like craigslist, and newspapers and internet ads in abundance, it's rarely necessary to actually pay someone with whom you'd have sex.

As the gay, leper escort said on his way out the door, "Nah, you keep the tip."

My question is, don't we always talk about sex? Seriously.

As a social worker and an educator, I personally do not believe there is such a thing as a No Strings sexual encounter, emotionally or physically. No sex act is 100% safe and the more you play with strangers, the more you are playing Russian Roulette. Condoms fail, HPV can be transmitted without showing external symptoms, etc. Believe me, this is no judgment on my part, just things to consider when discussing sex working.

In my youth I was a sex worker of sorts. At 17, fake ID in hand, my best friend and I went to work for a legitimate porn studio. We performed two scenes in one movie and that was it for me. It opened up a world of emotions; some good, some not so good. I decided I didn't want to repeat this experience. The truth is I love watching porn, but I don't want to star in it.

My second foray into sex work was with a Sugar Daddy. At 21 I partnered with a man who was 40. I moved in with him 3 weeks after we met. I didn't love him and was not attracted to him. After a night of wine and dine, we had sex and he laid out his plan for me. He paid for everything and since I worked, I saved plenty of money and paid for my Masters without accruing loans. While I never took actual cash from him, I consider what I did a form of prostitution because I received compensation from him; i.e. a home, a car, food, utilities, travel, etc. In my book, a gold digger is just a full time hooker with one client.

All this is why I have no negative judgment. Two consenting adults can do whatever they wish. I personally would not choose to repeat these past behaviors. Sex is a powerful force in human lives; right up there with the instinct for self preservation, the drive to protect loved ones, and even love itself. I wouldn't pay someone to be my friend and I wouldn't pay someone to be my sex partner either. I don't believe human beings are commodities.

I have had sex with guys in porn movies on several occasions, and internet chat models too. Every experience I've had, I would say was quite satisfying. One of the stars of several movies I had gotten naked with fell in love with me and we are friends to this day--one of my dearest friends. I always feel like I'm not hot enough to be with him, but he always makes me feel wonderful, and has never asked me for a dime, or, for that matter, anything else. All in all, I feel very lucky, and when I see some of the guys I've been with in their films, I can't believe I've had relationships (on any level) with them.

I was surprised at how shy some of the guys were with their clothes on and in circulation off camera--it is charming, really. I should write a book someday . . .

I dated a sex worker and the friendship developed into a one on one relationship that lasted thirteen years. Lost him in an accident and sure that it would have been a lifetime relationship if I had not lost him. So no one can judge or condem. They really need to get to know a sex worker as a person.............

I have heard interviews with straight females who are sex workers. One I remember was married. She was a Dominatrix at work and said her sex life at home was pretty much missionary. She had been with her husband for years. I would like to hope I could be as accepting as he must have been.

Define "sex worker". Is it simply sex in exchange for cash, or can it be about more than sex, and more than cash? Because depending on how you define it, it's surprising how many respectable institutions might fall under the rubric of "sex work".

Hookers and hustlers? Check. Escorts? Check. Porn stars? (A bit of a stretch, after all while some do escort, the act of being filmed having sex for the viewers pleasure... ) Trophy wives? (Maybe not so much of a stretch, after all youth and beauty AND sex are exchanged for money power and privilege - and marriage was originally a commercial transaction (in the Bible "wives" are legally a man's "property")).

Now if a boy accepts the physical attentions of an older man (or woman), permits himself the pleasure of being wined and dined or taken on whirlwind tour of the world while giving his body up to the older person's pleasures and whims... is he a "sex worker"? Or is he just... blessed, fortunate, privileged by virtue of his youth and good looks and native charm? Is it still work if the this same boy derives genuine pleasure from all his companion's attentions: Emotional, physical, financial, mental, and, yes, carnal too? Is it "work" if he enjoys it as much, if not more, than his mentor and paramour?

Think about it and decide: And think too- Does a priestly blessing automatically turn a whore into a wife? (My, what profound magic is this!) Perhaps "Sense and Sensibility" really should be read a, wink- wink, nod- nod, as "Sex and Sensibility"?

As for the questions:
1) My husband told me that once he actually accepted an offer for his company and... skills. And that he enjoyed the experience immensely, feeling quite liberated and empowered by the exchange of power inherent in a hot steamy hour defined in part by that transactional dynamic. That he was in fact far wealthier than his "client" was immaterial - it was the contract itself that spiced their interaction (and paid for a few lovely dinners and nights on the town after).

And I have a friend who danced her way to her advanced degree, and another friend who escorted for a time while living the life of a struggling artist until he got tired of "struggling" and joined Wall Street (yes, there are indeed many forms of whoredom).

2) Would I pay? I have often wondered what my answer would be. But, to date, personally, that particular question has always been framed in the reverse-

In my youth both men and women took me across the globe and to their beds. And the moments spent beneath their experienced hands and bodies opened doors to not only understanding my own body, but to places, people of note, and institutions and refinements of art and culture and finance and learning that I treasure too this day (no few of which might have been otherwise out of reach for me, even with my lineage education and background). Like all of life's best experiences those days are, to my mind, gifts of learning that keep on giving to this very day.

So I would say "yes" - should I ever feel so inclined I think I would be delighted to consider "sharing the wealth" as only a man can share. Maybe. If, unlikely as it seems right now, the mood ever strikes.

well said, couldn't agree more !

Have never paid for sex. The idea is foreign to me. My view is that I put issues in their own boxes. If his job is a sex worker it is No reflection on me whatsoever. It is his JOB. My negotiating issue would be does he have enough left for US when required? That would be agreed upon I hope. However having had a job that required me to travel a lot it did lead me to be more of a homebody since being away from home was a job. SO when off work I didn't want to travel. SO I guess my observation would be whatever two people agree upon as fair is what matters. I have never been in love with someone that was a sex worker. I do believe each individual in a relationship can separate the job from the relationship. I have come to believe sex is but 25% of a relationship anyway. The other 75% is what makes two people a solid couple. Do I take my partner to work and he take me........nope so I think the dividing line is pretty simple. I wouldn't want his job and he wouldn't want mine has been my experience. After that its all about the couple. What amount of time are you giving to our relationship and in what way? Sex with love can be an expression of your feelings for a partner and involves a bit more I think than a job as a sex worker.

Say I had a partner that was in construction. Would I expect him to come home and perform construction jobs here too? Would be overwhelming for him and tiresome if he didn't like it. Thing is, do each of you enjoy your job and could do it all the time? if so no problem. If not, then time for negotiation of what we both need.

In my job traveling there was a lot of down time where I would read. My guess is there is a lot of down time with sex workers. SO hopefully he would be able to give the love/sex part of himself to us. I think because of the sex worker job that the burden of loves expression at home depends a bit more on him. The question for me becomes is sex an expression of your love at home and different on the job? Can a couple recombine sex and love together as an expression of their commitment? I say yes depends on the couple. There are so many other issues that cement a relationship other than sex. I think gay men might miss all the other important expressions of love with their partner by believing in what I consider an outdated straight emphasis on sex binding two people together. Marriages have shown it does not. SO hope this made some sense. I pray someday soon I find that person I was meant to be with as God intended. And if God intends not then the joke is on me. :>)