Homo for the Holidays: An 8-Point Survival Guide

December 23, 2012

If you're making the yuletide gay this year with the family, Big Daddy Carl's got some survival tips on making things run as smoothly as possible. When there's lots of family involved, whether you come from a conservative background or a more open and candid crew, conversations are bound to take some wacky and possibly uncomfortable turns.

Take some time (and a deep breath) to prepare yourself before the family fun begins with Carl's 8-Point Survival Guide over at the Huffington Post.

What are your plans for the holidays this year?

From all of us at Daddyhunt and Mister we wish you a very merry, very safe and a very spectacular holiday season!

Tags: Carl Sandler, Huffington Post, Survival, holidays
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Post written by RobHeartsDH (View Author Profile)
About this author: Rob lives in Manhattan with his black pug Riley. When he’s not thinking about daddies, he enjoys writing, eating burritos, watching copious amounts of television, and thinking about his next meal.
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Happy Holidays to the DH family...I am spending the holidays with friends.

There's only drama if one makes it. Are gay men so infantile that they need directions on the internet, 8 in all, to make a decision to visit family at holiday time? There are 2 choices, go or don't. Make things as simple as possible.

Amen, brother. But the world has become so tangled-up that we need multiple steps to do everything. It's remarkable that as complications have grown, true thought has went into steep decline.

That was a really good and thoughtful piece.

staying home, have No Family, and all my Friends have Family to go to ,Christmas and Other Family Holidays are the Lonely Times of the Year for me always have been the Worst Time of the year I was the only kid born in my family , my Mother and Father died when I was a kid ,when I was working always worked the Family Holidays, and Christmas , and New Year's since other people have family ,now since I don't work any more it's back being the Lonely time of the Year Again, so every year have a TV dinner of Chicken with all the Fixings since I don't eat Turkey and watch TV, have a Few Beers , or Eggnog with lots of Rum in it , that way don't feel the pain of not having any family and hope I get through another Christmas Day Holiday, and New Year, with out my Family or My Lover that died 13 years ago and my friends that are with their family so hope everyone has a better Christmas and New Year , and any other Family Holiday

I also don't have any family here in L.A. and the friends are either with their families or out of town,etc. My partners passed away in years past too. To me, the worst place to be is "home alone" so I do something, I go somewhere. It is surprising how many people are out even on Christmas eve; long as one doesn't drink 'n drive or over indulge to the point of illness this is a harmless option. I figure if one is going to drink alone at home might as well say Merry Christmas to another, even if at a bar or club. I realize this may sound depressing, but again, any more so than sequestering? It only takes two people to share a little conversation and laughter. The Christmas blues aren't so bad if you see someone else in the same predicament. To me, it's the isolation that needs to be turned on its ear at such an emotionally overloaded, sentimental time. Were I your neighbor and knew you were this alone I would surely be happy to pay a visit! You are by no means alone with the feelings you describe in your post; it's just that many do not want to broadcast they are on their own amidst the holiday hooplah.

Damn Man...sounds just like me...family all died off in 3 years..boom boom boom....the best thing to do is find a man and start living again......no use in being alone the rest of yer life. Make yer own happiness and go find a stud and make him yours!

Hi how are u good I hope. I am about the same way I am alone all the time I am a bottom I have a 6 inch uncut I was thinking if u ever get to spokane washington could look me up I like to have that 9 inch in my ass if it would fit never had one that big u can fuck all day and night after u cum I will suck u hard to keep on fucking me ok talk later

you do realize this string is about Christmas coping?

daddybear - thanks for sharing what so many go thru at the holidays. two of my children won't talk to me [they were always difficult kids,anyway],so what could be a quaint holiday time is ruied for the rest of my family that doesn't know or care. But, life is a bitch then you die and have to be with your dead relatives -lol. Best wishes to all for a great gay holiday and a super gay new year!

To All and DH as a member of the site I would like to wish all of you and the DH community a very grae and Happy holiday season

It Is great to have Mason Lodge Friends For The Holidays For Sure. Hope everyone has a nice day and its always good to never jump into social clicks (bars, tough love camps, coffee shops) to an extreme to where you might surrender your true natural self in exchange for professional arrangements or some sort of acceptance that doesnt already feel totally natural before the art of the verbal deal is presented over a drink or cup of tea. Happy Holidays to all for sure.

I wish I had the chance of being with family or not. Student loans are such a pain.

I tune out when I read knee-jerk nonsense like this:

"When there's lots of family involved, whether you come from a conservative background or a more open and candid crew, conversations are bound to take some wacky and possibly uncomfortable turns."

So let me get this straight (oops, sorry). Conservatives are contrasted to "more open and candid" family settings?

That's the contrast? "Conservatives" versus "open and candid" people?

Perhaps you've spent too little time with these "open and candid" people, a grouping I'm sure overlaps almost completely with self-styled "progressives." You know the progressives, right? So "open and candid" that they instinctively reject anything they disagree with. There's a better way to describe their "tolerant" world-view: "agree with us and we'll tolerate you."

And then we have this writer - "RobHeartsDH" - insisting that we agree with the notion that there are "conservatives" and then there are "open and candid" people - i.e., everyone else.

Please. Don't disagree with RobHeartsDH. Only "trolls" or "haters" disagree with those so englightened.

/s/ Open and Candid Conservative

Well Christmas has never been a time I enjoyed..mainly down to family dynamics but throwing the "gay" issue into the mix with a bunch of serious relgious types was never going to make things easy..I don't nor ever have made a song and dance about being gay, but heaven knows it's been raised by every man and his dog every time I make a visit, I'm single so it's not like I arrive with a partner in tow which would highlight my lifestyle but nonetheless the dumb ass comments and spite run rife..I shrug it off but it gets tedious.
These days I try to avoid family gatherings and simply don't go but with my father ageing and seriously unwell I felt I should go which I duly did..Not the easiest atmosphere but it was only two days..Surprisingly my ultra straight brother and his wife came to my rescue and kept me busy and out of harms way knowing what the folks can be like which was a blessed relief and most unexpected..I found a new respect for both him and my sister in law..for me that was the best gift.

Hey guys, by all means disagree with the writer(s); but no need to attack them

I call it Xmas for the simple reason that its nice to have the pagan style tree and all those lights combined with not so specifically religious holiday tunes such as Frosty and Silver Bells while skipping the song about the 3 wisecracks that followed a star when perhaps feeling a bit fuzzy maybe but then again everyone should feel warm and fuzzy about one thing or another where I would not decorate (minus the nativity stuff) if there were not Mason Lodge buddies and good friends where a non-christian made her kids say thanks to me for making it a pleasant visit because her husbands home was fairly bare on a holiday. She is the daughter of bossy roommate who converted in order to marry her professional hubby which can be a thing that young people do without thinking of what matters down the road after the home shopping spree cant go on forever. Im seen as autistic and like a sort of adopted son to a state police mason lodge crime lab buddy and the bossy roommate but I dont use labels for sure.

You're right not to use labels. Your thoughts are scattered all over the universe, with plenty of insults thrown in.