Does Where You Live Help or Hinder Your Love Life?

June 12, 2012

New York City is probably one of the best places for a gay man to be single. It's also one of the worst to be single and looking for a serious relationship. Then again, I thought that Pittsburgh was a terrible place to be a single relationship seeking gay man, and now it's on a list of the Top 10 Cities Where Gay Singles Are Looking For Marriage And Kids. Keep in mind, this list doesn't tell you the best places to secure a man seeking a serious relationship, but rather where the men are looking for one. Whether it's lack of options or lack of focus, it seems that all the friends I talk to around the world are unhappy with where they live in regards to being a single gay man. I've thought about leaving NYC more than a few times, but wonder if the city is really the problem.

So I ask, do you feel that where you live has negatively or positively affected your dating life?

Tags: dating, Location, City, Lists
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Post written by RobHeartsDH (View Author Profile)
About this author: Rob lives in Manhattan with his black pug Riley. When he’s not thinking about daddies, he enjoys writing, eating burritos, watching copious amounts of television, and thinking about his next meal.
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In regards to love

All gay men will find love

When they leave their box

Go deep

Open their hearts

And be real and genuine and true

I totally agree. Looking at the many guys I know who are single, they would probably find amazing partners if their "laundry lists" where not as large and as unrealistic. I agree with a comment I read from another poster here that says; "relationships depend more on one's level of maturity than on geography." When one is ready to be in a relationship and is flexible enough to know that a relationship takes time to build, then one is willing to stay long enough through the discomforts that help one know if things will work out or not. Until then, one can move from city to city or country to country, but until the inner work has been done, what has not been worked through will follow you everywhere you go.

You are both so right.
When I found my love 31 years ago he was not faced with a laundry list of shoulds and musts, tops or bottoms. We fell in love first and then worked out the compatibilities and differences over time. If I had absolutes I'd be alone at 58.

Sometimes I am amazed at the shopping lists single guys have in their profiles!

I totally agree. Looking at the many guys I know who are single, they would probably find amazing partners
http://www.ifgames.net

Perhaps, but only from the standpoint that where one lives impacts how often one encounters other gay men outside of cruisin' and boozin' (not that they're bad - I've met some of my best friends that way). NYC offers plenty of options, but so do many of the small towns across America.

Settling down into a serious relationship is probably the result of one's maturity and integrity more than geography. And gentlemen (that includes you Rob), I live at the shore but venture into nyc a lot ... wanna meet for coffee or a drink and some conversation?

having lived in san francisco for a long time and then moving to new jersey, i do find the place i live a factor in dating and relationship building. many men that i meet, both on line and in person, are on the down low due to catholic guilt or not being out to their families, or both.

AB-SO-LUT-EL-Y! Every city or region seems to have both a 'type' and a requirement to either live up to that type or to find that type appealing. When I was stationed at Pearl Harbor, for example, I'd be at Hulu's (the sort of 'main' gay bar there, at least when I lived there) and I would frequently run into Haoles (non-locals) just moved to the Islands from the Mainland complaining that they weren't interested in dating, 'orientals.' Okay, ignoring the fact these Haoles were being racist by using a word which describes carpets to describe people, exacerbated by the fact that they were lumping people of all sorts of different ethnic types into some kind of amalgamation, they were basically excluding a large majority of the folks they were likely to meet from their dating options. Face it, Hawaii has a lot of Hapa (mixed race) or Pacific Rim guys. Just like Miami is full of hot Cubanos or Latinos and Atlanta is full of hot African-American guys, Honolulu is full of hot Pacific Rim or Hapa guys.

I have a similar experience now that I live in the little house by the big lake here in Seattle, except I am now the one living in the place where there are few of the types of guys I find appealing and lots of guys I don't. Seattle is Bear-central. The 'look' here is stocky, hairy, 10 years older than you are, balding with a beard (or heaven forbid a goatee) worn to hide a double chin or make up for some perceived lack of masculinity. Not my thing at all. Not. Did I mention that Bears aren't my thing? First, before the flaming starts, let me make it clear: there is nothing wrong, nor do I intend to suggest there is anything wrong with Bears or bearish guys. Not one little thing. As a bearish guy myself, I am glad as heck that some guys find thick, furry, older guys appealing. I just don't happen to be one of them. Again, Bears (or chubs or older) DOES NOT EQUAL BAD. Those types are just not to my tastes. That said, you should read and hear the abuse that I take when I am online or if I post a personal ad seeking social interactions for living in a Bear town and not finding Bears appealing, especially since I am bearish myself. The mania and sensitivity around Bears and the focus on them here borders on the bizarre. If you have the gaul to admit you aren't into bearish guys, you are immediately accused of only being into twinks (as if there were only two types of guys) and somehow thinking you are all that and a bag of chips. If I didn't live here and hadn't experienced it for myself, I'd never believe it. In Seattle older is not encouraged to date younger; smooth are not encouraged to date hairy; opposites of any kind are strictly forbidden to date. It is the RULE. Okay, a short Bear is sometimes allowed to date a tall one, but that is about the extent of the 'flexibility' found here.

So, yes, living in Seattle and the culture and 'look' that exists here have a major impact on dating for me. They always have (before you ask: I've lived here much of my adult life...state job, elderly parents, (former) partner, little house by the big lake, etc. are what keep me here) and likely always will. Seattle is a notoriously cold and unfriendly place, polite, yes, friendly no. I think it has to do with the high tech environment here...people who flock here just feel more comfortable chatting online or texting rather than dealing with each other in person. So you add that to the restrictive 'type' orientation here, and bingo...dating sucks.

Dating is hard anyplace. But, boys and girls, I defy you to find a place where dating is harder than it is here in Seattle. I dare you,

At least, that is what THIS DADDY thinks.

To read more of the writings of THIS DADDY, on this an other topics, please visit his blog, "Buck up, Princess" or read some of his early posting as a (formerly) regular blogger here on DH (before they stopped publishing his stuff).

"Dating is hard anyplace. But, boys and girls, I defy you to find a place where dating is harder than it is here in Seattle. I dare you,"

... hmmmmm...
... just guessing...
... pyongyang?...

blessings.

laeth

I moved to Seattle metro from Kansas City 4 years ago and I absolutely loathe Seattle and it's insular, cold, pensive, Seattle freeze attitude. I also don't live on CapHill and most of the freaks and geeks, when they do exhibit tepid interest, don't own a car. So anything less than 4 blocks away is an instant turn off to them. You could have every form of transportation at your disposal and they still won't make any fucking effort to make a date. They call it "happen to walk into each other and possible get a coffee and maybe sit together" routine. That's if they don't text you an hour prior to the pre-planned coffee and cancel on you. I purposely chose the burbs because I don't like cramped flats with $400 parking stalls.

Seattle men will add you to online social forums but they will do nothing but poke, woof, grope, pinch, etc and nothing becomes of it. I've had multiple bad experiences at the bars from Facebook from unrelated guys. After approach from one guy over one year of "knowing" them online I got the most unfriendly "do I know you?" These are typical interactions from all these guys. Seattle men suffer from Scandinavian defenses, and only care about input but are tightly lipped about their personal lives so that you can't make any freindships or shared connections. They want to know what you drive, what your salary is, and your fetishes but get offended if you ask them qualifying questions.

One guy I met on Facebook who we had several common friends, acted offended when I approached him at the bar. I asked him a favor and the only way that fucker would help me call my mutual friend to find my phone from my friend's car was if I filled up his gas tank and this was our first offline interaction! The dude shoulda knew me after a year of sharing socially. I mean, if someone needed my help I was at least familar with from FB, I would have done whatever was needed to assist!

The last blind date I had I met at a wine bar. We were making such great small talk until I asked him "what kind of drama is going on in your life?" Expecting him to discuss home, work, etc. He volunteers that he was fucking his best friends boyfriend. Yep,tells ME, his blind date! What kind of tacky discussion is that? I jokingly called him a home wrecker and he got up and left the bar in the middle of the tab! Not my problem he's a fucking whore! I know him and his friends are on this website too. The wierd thing is guys here do such nasty manipulative things to each other and yet the perpetrators "friends", will continue to stick up for them! It's such a dumb founded weird phenomenon I have ever seen in my life!

So I decided over a year ago to stay the hell away from Caphill and try to weed out the freaks and psychos remotely. I am forging ahead with my plan to relocate out of state as soon as the economy recovers. Rightfully so, just before a native Seattlite tells me "why don't you go fuck off where you came from".

trust issue, perhaps? read carefully. lot of us have it. but the questions you ask on a date should convey interest, not mistrust. we are all imperfect. start with acceptance of imperfection, and don't leave yourself out of the equation. I have rarely met a perfect gay man, least of all myself.

OUCH, after reading two replies about the scene in Seattle, lets just say , that city is at the bottom of my list to visit :) , mind you I love bears and met few from the Seattle area, but that was in Palm Springs :)

It's not the geography, it's the population.

Try living where I live - eastern Iowa.

living iin rural area not easy, men hide some not open, with too many standards, a great man is not easy to find

I moved from metropolitan Denver to Birmingham, Alabama at the end of March to care for my elderly mother and am now starting to explore my life as a gay man after years of doing nothing. I was sure that life as a gay man in Birmingham would be next to impossible. I also thought that being African-American would pose additional problems. Man was I ever wrong!

There is a large gay community in this city. It isn't as "visible" as it was in Denver, but it is here. Furthermore, I have been in contact with both black and white men. I never thought white men here would want any kind of interracial interaction. The black men here are very interesting to converse with and are hardly homogeneous in outlook and temperament. And, best of all from my viewpoint, I am meeting men who are serious about having a life-partner. I had thought that life as a gay man in this city would be dreary, lonely and frustrating. I am discovering that is not so.

I haven't had to water down my standards about the kind of men I want as friends nor ultimately the kind of man I will want as a partner. If anything, it has been easier for me to meet guys here than it was back in Colorado. Who'd a thunk it?

That's not to say that geography doesn't make a difference. Eastern Iowa or central Montana would present bigger challenges and problems than a major metropolitan area. But thanks to the Internet, a gay man does not have to live his life in a vacuum. He can find other guys, even love, if he is patient, persistent and perseveres.

I moved from San Francisco - after 30 years - back to Connecticut, due to a promise to myself to care for mom when she couldn't care for herself any longer (Alzheimer's). My sister helped on weekends.
What I found was more the lack of joy in many guys, BUT, I found that same lack of joy in many men in San Francisco, even in the 70s. Although it's not a cheery statement, I found many guys lacked maturity (of the emotional sort) and were still struggling with unhappy childhoods (cold mother and distant father) and to be blunt, as any therapist would tell you, whatever you don't resolve in childhood, you project onto whomever you date, marry or whatever. So, while the geography of San Francisco is fantastic, having guys who are still angry at mom and dad isn't going to help your dating life unless you want to play victim or enabler.
Perspective is the key: are there cities where the dating population is mentally "healthier" and happier than somewhere else? i'd have to say 'NO.'
So, it's a matter of meeting a guy who's happy enough with himself that he's not self absorbed, or fearful of being rejected (that one is the MAIN problem I've experienced) and has enough joy to want to share it with others. And it helps if the person is self-aware enough to know what they have to offer -- and what they don't.
Geography means little if all you have is a crop of weeds choking out the (fewer) flowers in the garden.

P.S. to Geomath: it looks like you found a place that has guys who want a real connection. That's great, man!

Interesting reading some of the thoughts and feelings here. As I watched my father move from place to place, happy for the honeymoon period, then unhappy and ready for the next logistical cure and next move... I saw first hand that it is (as has been stated here in many ways) not so much about the location as the person. Unhappy people will pack it up and be unhappy in a new place. That is not to say all moves are bad either, it is the reasons that make the difference.
As a guy who lives in a more isolated place for meeting gay men, my perspective might not fit in with most. I live on my farm here North of Kansas City. The rural thing is a nice get-a-way for lots of folks but sure not the lifestyle that suits them full time. I've had many people tell me, "Your a good catch but your in the wrong place" that may be true. For me, however, I have to be true to myself, or I won't be good for anyone. I get to enjoy a freedom that few ever have, that is more valuable to me personally than being in what others think is the "Right place".
What I believe is a major problem in relationships is that the ones with ambition and intellect to make a good life for themselves are doing exactly that. They are not available to move because they have good jobs, homes and family/friends where they live. Those who have none of that are generally very available but you just become the next logistical cure and stepping stone for them. At least you guys who have many others within a few miles can date and enjoy each other. Those who live in the rural areas have a more difficult time and very few to choose from. We all make choices.

Very true.

I've lived various places in the US on the East Coast and on the West Coast. It has been my experience over the years that the faces and names change but people are essentially the same wherever you go. The thing that does make a difference is the population, Live in a rural setting there are fewer opportunities to meet potential dating partners, whereas living in an urban city that was not an issue. The trade off though is that the men I do meet are more likely to be agreeable to spending at least part of their time in a rural setting away from the noise and crowds. Of course if you want the crowds, NY is about 90 minutes away by air.

OK, men, try the piney woods of Mississippi, even though it's acually a fair-sized town. Just getting someone to reply to a message is near impossible. Try getting a date, period.

Living in the delta of Mississippi is worse! It's a god-forsaken wasteland in MANY ways! Location absolutely has an effect. I hope my next move will be OUT of the South!

I guess it is more than just Los Angeles that suffers from the "Looking For The Next Best Thing Syndrome."

Los Angeles has many good dating options if you don't mind the blizzard of flakes one must fend off to get to them. I have a theory: it's a movie town and too many people here want to be character actors. They portray one character online; then, what shows up on a "date" barely looks like the same person! Example: I was smitten by a very handsome, dark eyed/ dark haired man of intriguing descent, with what seemed to be a nice, compact build. Hot! As we chatted online, he described himself as "an old soul in a young man's body." What showed up at my door was a six foot beanpole with the stooped posture of an octagenerian and a hairdo I could only describe as a cross between Arlo Guthrie and a Stanley mop. I assumed he was the census taker, not my cyber-stud! I greeted him warmly, but was soon taken aback when he noticed a framed picture of Joni Mitchell above my piano and asked "Who's that? Is she a friend of yours?" The dialogue peaked over dinner when I asked what his interests are, and he replied "Hanging out." (No elaboration.) As I dropped him off at his car, I had an Alanis moment and thought, "Isn't it ironic? He seems more of a young, immature soul in an old man's body." Back to the bars....

Living in Los Angeles though there are gay meccas like Weho or Long Beach, dating is still tough. My experience has been guys are either already coupled (and in open relationships, which is something that wouldn't work for me), or they are not looking for anything serious, or they are not willing to leave the Weho bubble to meet someone who lives 20 miles away in another city.

I've had no luck in the dating department for the last 5 years (and also it's always the same case, the guys I find attractive I'm not their type, and the guys who like me are usually not my type) ...I guess it's about patience, and being in the right place at the right time. So I'm sure other gay cities have the same issues.

Plus living in Los Angeles I think guys get caught up in the abundance of gay men, so no one takes the time to develop anything serious because the grass is always greener on the other side.

Yeah, I agree with you. Well said.

Thank you...yeah, guess it's about the time and not trying to force anything to happen. Still makes it tough to find the "one."

Does where you live make a difference in you dating life? hell yes!!! I live in a town that I would consider very bad for dating... luckily I live close to SF and only an hour flight from Palm Springs.... and I have dated men in both cities... here is the thing... you can't buy cows in a town where there are none... it is numbers... if there are 10 gay guys in your town that is not a lot to pick from... my recomendation to someone young and gay and living in a place where there is no strong gay community..... MOVE!! :)

To the daddy who wrote about living in Honolulu, I say try living in Hilo! Big cities are always better for gay men, but sweet Jesus living in Hilo for seven years was like living on the moon. Even my straight friends told me that being single there was hard for them. There is definitely homophobia, but the real problem is the cliquishness and racism. It was a lot like living in the small midwestern town where I grew up. I finally relocated to Honolulu, and this is so much better. I'm actually going on dates again! I've had more dates in the last month in Honolulu, than I had in 7 years in Hilo! I whole-heartedly agree that you have to be emotionally mature and ready for a relationship, and you can't be looking for some kind of perfect partner. But all that goes out the window, when there are simply NO MEN who are available for more than a blowjob in the bushes before running back to wifey. BTW, before I lived in Hilo, I lived in NYC for a decade, so I think I know something about big city life vs small town life. Being a single gay man in a small town sucks ass. Being a gay couple in a small town can be a different story. That's my 2 cents.

After reading a few of the comments, it seems redundant to say: ya it's more about population than location. The larger the population the more options you have to meet new people. More people, the higher the probability to find a match.
The downside to the larger population is the ease of meeting new people. So with a large population it would be less likely to find someone for a monogamous long-term relationship. The temptation is very high to stray. Where as in a small population there is less option and less temptation. The trouble lies in finding someone first.
So, I would tell you to live in a large populated city and find Mr. Right. If you are looking for monogamy and raising kids, you may want to look at moving to a small town.

Too many on this thread are speaking in monoliths and hyperbole and this is how it is so that’s just the way it is. None of this does anyone any favors. And most of us boys need a good smack in the face from some lesbians or straight boys.

Yeah I feel that most of the men I meet are depressed but still continue to date all kinds of men and nothing stable. No one seems to want love just sex.. In L.A there are so many guys that no one wants a stable friendship. You can date someone for about a few months then it gets old or they don't want to bother working on the relationship. I have also met so many picky men some don't want to date me just because I am uncut!.. I have sent so many messages and no one even bothers to say hello. On the other hand a small town does not have alot of gay men but it only takes one and you don't have all the other guys so there is no feeling of maybe I can find something better syndrom..

large cities offer alot...numerous men,...mucho possibilities for socialization w/a large selection on men as well...but...i sometimes feel that we in large cities kind of are of the attitude that there are so many men that we have endless choices and can take the time to search thru the mass. However I feel that if you are inclined to want to be in a relationship that that should be of interest in NOTdating men who ALREADY have bfs/partners.
Many of the guys here for example list that they are in open relationships. So if you are looking for a monogamus relationship , just stay away from that kind of man..they already have their ONE..or do they?...For me..i just go w/single men who state that they are interested in more than a roll in the hay...and..if you immediately get into a sex related conversation then more than likely you and he are not really wanting the focus on getting to know each other and grow together in a progressive way..so....if you want a good guy who is looking for the One...start w/ getting to know the man..not his dick

Well said!

i say it kinda hinders my love life because it a small town in north east scotland and the gay scene in aberdeen isnt much. so mostly likely move somewhere where there is a bigger gay scene but more guys that my tyoe-ish

New York City is naturally not the ideal place to be considering the current world climate with many parts of the world having their fundamentalist brotherhood nature of things that tends to not involve a lot of intelligence unless its a more reliable lodge type element with plenty of real world knowledge involved rather than fantasy movie type elements. There was a study online recently that said that Manhattan had been cleaned up in terms of communicable social issues in the last decade but am not sure if that comes at the expense of the former freedom to wander the waterfront after some refreshment without watching for spectators that might not want to see the details of freedom of expression that way. AM not sure if the health study meant that there was less fun in NYC or just in terms of getting examined more often maybe.

Ft Lauderdale, FL has a large gay population that seems to be aging into the 50's, lots still in 40's. High HIV percentage. Surveys by groups indicate 85%, Miami Beach 92% and many lie so u can not believe them. Safer to import a foreigner if you can overcome the visa and immigration hurdles.

I'm in the Ft Lauderdale area 17 years. I've met many different men and have established and maintained a great connection with many of them. Bottom line..it's all about maturity, a good heart and personality (OK yes a good job and his own car too). I agree the percentage of HIV infected men is high here in SoFla, as it is in other cities with a high gay population.
We al have our preferences, I'm not putting you down for your opinion, I don't know you. I've known men like you and it appears that you come across like you are too good for anyone who isn't HIV- or who may not want to open up about it right away. Put away the surveys, open your eyes and your heart.....and your mind!!!

Well I don't have a laundry list, my is very small only want honesty, but it seems is to much to ask , lots of propositions for sex but this is it, I guess my life is to continue alone and in NYC.

I live in Chicago about three blocks from boystown. I hardly ever go because I've never been much of a bar person, and standing and posing just isn't my thing. I'm 51, look ten years younger, but I guess because I don't have a full head of hair and I'm on the shorter side at 5' 7", I'm just not a stand out in a crowd. Never mind that I'm funny, kind, in shape, down to earth, genuine, and monogamous.....seems most guys here are just looking for the next best thing. I'm one of those gay men that wants a relationship, but it is very difficult to find-even in a big city like Chicago. I'm sure it is better here than in a small rural town, but it isn't a joyride just because you live in a big city.

I could "ditto" most comments above; one I especially liked was (I think) "..... it's not the place, it's the population." Yes, and we resemble that remark, LOL! I do think there are regional shared values and there are certainly age-specific stereotypes. Towns/cities that do not have a mix of townies and newbies suffer from a lack of sophistication. Nationally the educational level of gays and straights alike has dropped to a recognizable low and that means many are suffering from under or un-employment and a general lack of morale and hope that has become pronounced. Having come out late (age 40) meant that my many frog-kissing days to find that one prince got foreshortened. In the meantime it seems that narcissism and fear-of-intimacy are epidemic. Someone else mentioned the lack of maturity and the effects of bad parenting to which I would add a lack of compassion and the prevalence of addictive behaviors. I've experienced enough of those thank you. I agree that "... where ever we go there we are"; I'm certainly not perfect but the venues in smAlbany town have reverted to the bar scene and not much else. The so-called AIDs epidemic, horrific as it was (and still should be scarey) did have a way of creating community now gone. I should have moved years ago (probably to another country) when I sensed the lack of like-minded people and I do not blame others for that. That's my lament. If it's better where you are, make the best of it.

I live in a large military community. With DADT repealed and military able to say they are gay there are still issues. I am biologically old but not mentally - mature, yes - I prefer men at least 20 years younger than myself. I know there are men around that like older guys but I have problems finding them. I go online and will set up meets. They never show. The few I have met and shared time with live very busy lives and are not around much. My life is doing whatever I want. I have retired twice but am going back to work because I do not want to reduce my lifestyle and it gives me something to do. It also puts me out in the public more, I always worked in small offices. My laundry list is quite short and simple. I will find that person, again.

I've had to sacrifice a few things for another. Living in Asheville, the lesbian capital of the south, and where single guys are definitely the minority it has been a bit rough and challenging. Primarily gay couples in this area and I tell other gay men thinking of moving here is that the gay single life here can be very lonely. What makes up for the loss of single guys is what Mother Nature has created in these mountains. It has allowed me to be me and when I get lonely I look to her for solace. Nothing like taking a hike up the mountains to make ones day - the only thing better would be to do it with a partner. Love the area but the ratio of single men sucks - literally. Have considered moving to a big city but Mother Nature's beauty keeps a mooring line on me here, at least for now. I could live anywhere for the right person, well almost anywhere. Any single guys want to move to the mountains? lol

Small town with good or cold or hot weather - it's harder to find men then platinum cock rings.
I live in a community of 4200. Best place on earth with a survey results from 2011 for a town or community of 20,000 or less people. But with 2000 all around the year, and higher in the summer - people come here to hide. And they hide so well, I'm celibate - not by choice 3 years. It's the pits! Nearest city is great but try and pay for the $130 cheapest motel or hotel or pensionne - and food and and and to hope to have a good time with someone - and find that the chemistry isn't there so you resort to - well, THANK YOU, BUT ... and go back to the hotel as the last ferry home has left an hour ago.

If you have lots of people - they want a different choice when they desire it.
If you have cold weather - people bundle up and cuddle in couples, unless it's too big and then the density rule comes into play more then the cold weather rule.

In a rain forest, 30F - 75F year round average range - so few people, snow is an anomily - and it's a very depressing place seeing gay couples shun single men, and being the odd man out with no support system unless it's single straight women.

Nature - better then most places in Canada. Like Ashland - above message - it's sublime!
Nature does heal the soul, simplify things, and when you stop having sex you miss it less.

Its not hard to find good friends in most city urban areas if their aren't any absolute stats that are paramount over knowing them in person for awhile and not jumping to quickies over the Internet for sure. It is harder to find a guy close by who is not just hooking up and that's where there really is no limit in general as to what part of the country something might develop and there certainly are a lot of guys of good character that are miles and miles away from urban coffeeshop areas. Thats where Internet can be a start because a local gay bar will tend to have the variety that sometimes conceal issues and drama that you want to know before someone sais "Hi dear" and then they wake up with a headache. Lots of people are in dress rehearsal mode in public areas whether the beverage is a coffee shop stimulant that gets them vibrating or a pub that does the reverse where you dont want to be driving on a ton of caffeine or the vibrating can make the driver too easy to get startled and be jumpy in heavy traffic conditions. This area and most urban areas have their seedy meeting places but its not a place to go if one really wants to pursue a more serious road but its okay for those who need it real bad after a drink or half a dozen energy boosting substances from the wellness center.

SF is great if all you want to meet are guys that just want to fuck. Or have babies. Ok, that's an exaggeration, but the truth is somewhere in the middle.

You see, we have a very casual and common phenomenon called "committed but open" which is a full of shit trend currently making it's rounds like an app you try because it got hyped on Facebook.

But there's a sincerity factor - some guys are really good fits for CBO. But others are not, because the only reason they need it is because they shouldn't really be together in the first place.

So holding on to somebody "just so I won't be alone" is pathetic. The drug of CBO on top of that only masks the symptoms of boredom and the root cause of poor decision making, undeveloped persona and undiscovered life.

Listening to *those* people justify it is like listening to potheads babble on about how it enhances their life so much by being high all the time. Gimme a break.

No, definitely not.

I find most of the "hot guys" are in the states. I mean, sure there are plenty of hot guys here but I like to think that there is a whole world outside of the city I live in. Just because I haven't came across anyone worthwhile here doesn't mean they won't be out there somewhere, right?

This was a conviction be told great read, thanks for captivating the time to put it together! Touched on some very good...
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