So That Just Happened...

May 10, 2012
Category: Politics

This week has been a real roller coaster for our community. First the Vice President comes out in support for gay marriage. YAY! Then a motivated and hateful group of voters passed Amendment 1, banning gay marriage in North Carolina. BOOOOO! And shortly after, we get word that the Colorado GOP killed the civil unions bill that seemed like it was on it's way to passing. HISS! But then something surprising happened. We gays were rightfully outraged and vocal, but there was an outpouring of straight supporters who were equally enraged by North Carolina and Colorado's actions. And then, everything changed. The President of the United States of America, the one who's views on gay marriage were said to be "evolving," did the right thing. He came out in support of gay marriage. BOOM.

Cynics will say that it's a political calculation. That we shouldn't be pawns in a political game. That words are great but actions are better. And while that's true, can we take a minute to just revel in the fact that the highest ranking political figure in this country, the first ever, just gave us his full support? It's so easy to take a trip to Bitterville when we're not quite there yet, but this is progress people. HUGE progress in a long long journey of equal rights. Some will say, it's not fast enough, but I will say, it's mother fucking happening! We've got more work to do around the world, but we're on our way and someday soon this will all be a dark distant memory in our hard fought history. I for one, just want to get him reelected so we can lock this down and get 'er done.

Everyday I read something about how much we're hated. Whether it's denying us rights, murdering our brethren, or a child disowned by their family. Every day I read this. And here I sit an out and proud gay man, someone who is able to see these words, these actions, as ignorance, and I am still affected by it. Whether you register it or not, these kinds of messages, that we're less than, that we're not right, seep in. And when I think about the young people who may not be as fully formed as us adults, I worry about what this does to them. So whether you question his motives or his actual plan, you can't argue that hearing the leader of a nation say that he supports you, and all that you are, is one incredible message to send out to the world. However delayed it was, it's out there now and there's no going back.

I am proud to be a gay American today.

But now onto the real work, as both bases are going to be fired up. Let's get him back in office so he can complete this longstanding mission.

Oh, and while we're at it, let's move the DNC Convention out of North Carolina.

Tags: Gay Marriage, Politics, obama, equality
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Post written by RobHeartsDH (View Author Profile)
About this author: Rob lives in Manhattan with his black pug Riley. When he’s not thinking about daddies, he enjoys writing, eating burritos, watching copious amounts of television, and thinking about his next meal.
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Our evolving gay rights didn't start in 1968 at Stonewall. They started in 1957, when Dr. Evelyn Hooker implored the American Psychiatric Association to remove homosexuality from the "Mentally Disordered" list, which finally they did in 1973.
Evelyn, thank you. You were a friend and mentor to me, and I know you're smilng down on us right now.

It's been a long and hard road to get where we are today. At 58 and have been comfortable with my sexuality all my life, due to a loving family, have seen so many changes, and look forward to seeing alot more. We are all created equal, and we all deserve equality. My hat's off to President Obama, his wife and children, they are all leaders.

Obama did this ONLY to get votes, that is obvious.

So you really believe he should not have done it at all?

I applaud you. This was only done by Obummer to get votes. But, very funny that 67% of blacks oppose gay marriage, but only 41% of whites.
Looks like Obummer shot himself in the foot!

only if you assume they are single issue voters...

Did the thought possibly occur to you that, with something like 93% support among blacks, that our first black president may have just made it cool enough to tolerate and accept gay people that he will have done more than anyone in history to erode that 67% number? He may indeed lose a small percentage of the black vote for his evolution on gay rights, but the amount of good he has done for the country and equality for all in the long run dwarfs those losses. I've got plenty of criticism of Obama, but this is one occasion where he did the right thing.

What did he DO? Just voiced a new opinion; no laws have changed.

Oh yes because the removal of DADT was all for votes

your absolutely right! Obama just wanted to get re-elected by the help of gay and lesbian people..

Although I am happy with his announcement. It is far from happening. It is not enough to change my vote to one for Obama. My thinking is to get rid of Obamacare, smaller government, balanced budget and this one statement is not enough to make me vote for him. He might also evolve and switch his position on this issue.

When did the Republicans ever have a balanced budget?
BTW I can NOW afford Health insurance due to Obamacare.
If you want to get rid of the health care mandate that is fine with me, Although
any one who works for the government must give up the fact that us tax payers
will pay for there Health care. From the Pres, Senators, Congressmen, Judges, Governors,
Mayors, City Council, Teachers, Police, & Firemen. Anyone who receives a paycheck from
taxes that are collected should be on there own to find Health insurance just like us who are independent contractors and have our own small businesses. We the contractors, carpenters, electricians, plumbers, truck drivers, store owners, etc. Go, get rid of the health care initiative,
but try to take it away from government employees. Small government is the reason we are in this mess. Eight years of GWB and 4 more with the party of "NO". Ask your self this, why would you employ more people because you got a tax break. You would employ more people if you couldn't keep up with the demand for your products you produce. Right now no one is working, there for no one is purchasing new products. If the government would employ people then your products would be in more of a demand due to employed people having more discretionary funds. The bars are empty, the restaurants are half full, the stores on Main street are closing. The taxes generated by these business and others will help balance the budget. NOT taking away what little we have now !!!

Although I am happy with his announcement. It is far from happening. It is not enough to change my vote to one for Obama. My thinking is to get rid of Obamacare, smaller government, balanced budget and this one statement is not enough to make me vote for him. He might also evolve and switch his position on this issue.

Folks who won't vote for him won't. Whatever their true reason.

This won't change votes overall, because he was suspected of thinking this way in the first place.

What is different is the top executive of the US actually said it. But since states control the matter, all it does is rush the Hate States to pass anti-gay marriage bills or rush the Vague or Supporter States to pass pro-gay marriage bills.

Take note that the North Carolina amendment takes away civil rights of straight people as well. To push that point may help in states on the fence. It's also this fact being used to suggest the amendment is not anti-gay.

Definitely a political move... all he said was that his personal belief has evolved but added that it was a state's rights issue; just a diversion tactic because he doesn't want to discuss his own miserable record... also helps with fund raising.

miserable record? repealing DADT, not defending DOMA, repeal the HIV travel ban, and more. guess you're looking for the perfect president. good luck with that.

Oh, FYI, I am not for Romney or any of the republicans either. This will be a race between dumb and dumber.

For those of us who favor reason in America Obama's message is very important: If you actually evaluate same-gender partnerships and their effects on society you will find no rational cause to deny same-gender marriage.
Obama also invokes the Golden Rule. I expect that the Golden Rule will be used to argue against gay marriage as well as for it.

I am very happy Obama said this. But living in North Carolina, was outraged and disgusted by the vote on Tuesday. We have a battle on our hands especially in this state. There are a lot of uneducated people in this state that thought they were voting against gay marriage period. The wording of this amendment was such that many people will be hurt by its passage, not just gays. The more populated areas voted overwhelmingly against this amendment. The Democratic Convention ought to be interesting to say the least. Obama did not do this for for votes as I feel it was very risky in doing so. Romney does want the gay marriage issue to be a federal one not a state issue and he is agaainst it now and will never be for it. Whether you like Obama or not, I myself being a gay male and cannot get married can't see any gay person voting for Romney. I know I could not live with myself if I had a hand in putting someone in office that is discriminating.

I wonder if there's still time to move the Democratic National Convention elsewhere? Perhaps if we take all those dollars away from North Carolina and they realize that their stupidity cost them many millions of dollars in lost revenues, they will figure out what's really important in this life - economics or hate!

... hmmmmm...
... if you "hate" me...
... so then i "hate" you...
... back...
... it remains...
... only your...
... deficiency...
... and not my...
... lack...
... of love...
... or true morals...

... perhaps...
... we all be...
... endless fonts of love...
... only when our own...
... interests...
... are involved...



Moving the convention or boycotting North Carolina is not an act of hatred. It's called accountability. There have to be consequences for states whose voters choose to act in such anti-social, bigoted and discriminatory ways.

... so why must...
... a vote...
... need be an act of hatred...

... there once was...
... civil disagreement...
... perhaps reasoned...
... perhaps by ignorance...
... but the circumstance itself...
... was not call...
... for so easy a revilement...

... let us all enjoy...
... the delicious irony...
... of homosexuals ...
... seeking to punish...
... democrats...
... for something they blame...
... nearly wholly on republicans...



Doesn't really matter anyway because it is the Electorial Collage that elects the PResident in spite of the popular Vote!

Romney NEVER said he's either for or against gay marriage, so DON"T make assumptions!
Also, there do happen to be a lot of LBGT Republicans.
Amazing, this is going the same route as Rowe v Wade, over the abortion issue:
It should be a personal matter.
What REALLY is the issue?
Marriage is reserved for the states, thus each state can theoretically vote for or against. The conflict comes that a marriage performed in say, New York--and the couple move to say, North Carolina, Amendment 14 of the US Constitution states that each state MUST recognize the legality of the other. Thus, their marriage is deemed LEGAL in North Carolina.
Federal law supersedes state law.
Inherently, therefore: gay marriage is legal in ALL states, until the Federal Government deems it not through a Supreme Court decision (something that it's not keen on doing).
After all, you have a State driver's license. I have one from New Jersey, but can legally drive in California, can't I?

Actually Romney has declared that he opposes gay marriage. He said as president, he would support a constitutional amendment to define marriage as between a man and a woman, and explicitly prohibit marriage between gay men or lesbians.

No doubt there were LGBT and Jewish members of the Nazi party as well. I'll never understand how someone can be a member of a political party who would like to see them disappear and who whips up hatred against them during political campaigns in order to gain votes from racists and bigots.

Agreed on the states rights issue. But the 14th amendment also guarantees equal rights and I believe that eventually, just as it did for interracial marriage, the right to gay marriage will come down to a decision of the Supreme Court. Loving vs. VA will likely be the template and the reason that SCOTUS will have no other course of action than to rule that gay marriage is constitutional and then the 31 states that have banned gay marriage will be forced to toss out those laws.

Perhaps the greatest irony in NC's vote to amend their constitution to ban gay marriage was the fact that the last time NC amended their constitution was in 1875 -- to ban interracial marriage.

Therein lies the problem, EMS: This is one of those very technical fields of law, on which the right will find every possible hook to try and hang an argument. States have to respect the "public acts, records, and judicial proceedings" of every other state. Is a marriage, legally entered into in the State of (for instance) Massachusetts a "public act", a "record" or a "judicial proceeding"?

Note, specifically, that the *statutes* of another state are not included in that list, and in point of fact, the Supreme Court of the United States has held "the full faith and credit clause does not require one state to substitute for its own statute, applicable to persons and events within it, the conflicting statute of another state, even though that statute is of controlling force in the courts of the state of its enactment with respect to the same persons and events."

The question thus arises: if a marriage occurs between A and B in a state that by statute allows A and B to be married, is that marriage necessarily valid in every other state? The law's not as clear as you or I would like. Contrary to popular belief, this was not the basis on which the bans on interracial marriage were struck down (that decision banned any state from blocking interracial marriage; it didn't ban them from refusing to recognize them from elsewhere). Federal Appeals courts have split on the issue, as they have on other family law matters (birth certificates for adoptive children, for instance). Until the Supreme Court rules, we simply don't know what they will hold the law is.

We DO know that we stand a better chance of a favorable decision if it occurs after the next vacancy is filled if it's filled by Obama and not Romney.

Evening guys, I am a 54yo gay man that is a native of NC. Yes I am very disappointed at the way people voted here on Tuesday. I have been through an emotional roller coaster since that evening. I had hoped that the people of this state would not continue to put forth the face of the Confederacy but as one fellow Tarheel put it there are a lot of uneducated people in this state. Look at the 8 counties that voted it down. All but one have a university in them! Go figure. The extreme western and eastern ends of our state are very conservative and by all accounts that I have heard, the KKK is making a big come back in the east. Lord help us! So all the black folks that voted for this segregation amendment you better keep a look out. Jim Crow is always in the backs of some folks minds too. Prejudice abounds everywhere.
I have decide to make a protest statement of my own about this. I will fly the NC flag upside down underneath the US flag. I should take some heat about doing this but hey, my free speech right? This ought to go well with my vote against signs that are still in my yard!
I am also prepared not to spend money in most of the counties that voted for this bigoted law even though they have some wonderful places to visit. I was reading what Clay Aiken said in an interview, he still loves this state. So do I. I am Southern, (you should hear me!) and I am a Tarheel thru and thru. Born, bred and will die that way. The fight must go on folks.
Let the DNC happen here. Mecklenburg County is where Charlotte is btw and they voted against it. Maybe they will wake up a few more people and get them out to vote in Nov. Too bad so many supporters of us did not vote. We might have had a better showing. This injustice will be over turned. Maybe not in my life time but I have to believe that eventually our group will have their civil rights up held too. Y'all take good care out there guys. Many fights to be apart of all across this country. Keep your chin up, your wallet close, and the soap box handy. My best to you all, Gil the hornytarheel. And thank you Mr President and Governor Perdue

I don't believe he is sincere.I think he just said it to get our vote.

because you're going to vote for romney...

Yes, this is so transparent it's embarrassing to watch...I don't care if he promises me Brad fucking Pit, this man is a saboteur of the very freedoms he claims to be advancing. Slippery snake with a silver tongue. Don't be fooled, men. I'll take his endorsement but he will not get my vote.

well said! I can't stand to hear his voice because I don't believe a word he says.

Well said; will not get my vote either. I'm not ready to give up my liberties to this socialist party.

guys,if we think this issue is mainly about morals -especially politicans', I think that we may be missing the mark - pretty much everything a politican does is for the economic advatage it will give him[his sponsers/supporters]. Untill there is major economic advantage for gay rights, it may not come to pass - early on ,I remember reading the ecomonic projection of gay marriage on the long term ecomony- it wasn't a positive outlook. Wish us luck - maybe there has been a change in the economics of gay rights or more gay people/their supporters, are moving up the socioeconomic ladder,at least it seems like progress - hope it's not just posturing.

When you legislate against a group of people, WHO is next? Hispanics? Women? Blacks? Jews? The Irish? The Italians? The Japanese? Sooner or late you will fall into a group that those with power don't want you around. Time moves forward, and should not move back into the past. Too many people fought and died for us to be where we are today. Be careful who you vote for. Our children will have to live our grand parents lives. As someone said earlier it is an election between dumb and dumber, dumb is better then closed mindlessness . Remember you can teach the "dumb"...

You can only legislate against a group of people who are breaking the law.
For instance you can legislate against paedophilia.
Are homosexual acts (or anal sex) illegal in any state?
If not, then it is completely ridiculous that any 2 people of adult age cannot form a marriage bond between each other.
We all know that religious laws should have no influence whatsoever on civil laws.

By the way:
In 1994 Barack Obama said - "I favor legalizing same-sex marriages and would fight efforts to prohibit such marriages."

So, he has always personally been in favour, but probably for political reasons (votes/campaign funds) he kept it quiet.

Obama only did this just to get re-elected in Nov!

You don't get it, this is important , why undermine it?

If the President did this to get re-elected, then one should realize that he is going to lose votes also. So It is hardly a great vote winner. Regardless of motive, it IS a major pronouncement to make by a sitting President. Most pronouncements in politics are made in self interest. The point is now is there will be a national dialogue of the subject of gay marriage, and the intention of gaining equal rights under the law & the Constitution of the United States. The abolition of slavery and the rights granted in the 13th after the Civil War was motivated, among other things, with the rights granted in the 14th Amendment, and citizenship granted in the 15th Amendment, were all to enhance the power of the then Republican party's power.

Politicians want to be re-elected, so they take positions on a variety of subjects. All of these positions are calculated to promote their re-election chances. This is reality, and that's how things get done. Sometimes these are courageous positions, sometimes not. Just to say, "Obama did it just be elected President again!" So what!

I read somewhere that Obama talked to certain gay people about this issue, and also his wife and daughters, before "evolving" to the point of making a statement. For all we know, it may have been unheralded gay heroes on the White House staff that sealed the deal in his heart and mind. Maybe it was Michelle's hairdresser, a hot landscape artist on the White House grounds that he exchanged casual conversation with, or an especially praiseworthy White House chef who mentioned how thrilled he and his longtime partner were to be celebrating their 20th year together. Small seeds can yield an amazing harvest. And speaking of unheralded heros, thank you Mr. Biden for nudging your boss out of a state of wearisome waffling. Some say you put your foot in your mouth again; if so, I really hope you have a foot fetish 'cause your timing was splendid. Obama is nothing if not highly aware of his public image. Being judicial and patient in approaching this issue may be viewed as wise, but prolonged indeciveness is hardly an attractive trait in someone seeking re-election.

Obama has balls! This move could possibly gain him votes, but on other hand, it could possibly cost him votes.

how can you gay people [one myself] believe Obama for 1 second ....he thinks because we r gay all we think about is dick , but he is going to get a shock when he finds out that there r a few of uS who dIdn't cum in the morning mai,. and we have his number... and JOE BIDEN IS DUMB AS A STUMP BUT HE DIDN'T SLIP UP HE WAS TOLD TO DO WHAT HE DID SO WHEN OBAMA HAD TO BACK HIM UP IT DiDN'Y LOOK LIKE A PLoY FOR VOTES... get a clue girls SHOW HIM YOU RNT as STUPId AS HE THINKS HE FooLED LOTS OF YOU lAST TIME [NOT ME] AND LOOK WHERE WE R NOW ...HOW MANY PRS OF GUCCI PUMPS DID YOU GET TO BUY THIS YR ....

spell check

It's not just Obama and Biden and the politico's who are evolving. The country is evolving, and more so in other parts of the world. Change comes slowly but when taken into context, the LGBT community has made HUGE strides in the past 40 years.
I remember well marching in the streets of San Francisco in the 70's chanting for "Gay Rights Now", when there were no rights on the books protecting our people.
To think that some states have legalized Gay Marriage and that both the President and the Vice President have COME OUT in support of Gay Marriage is just huge.
This on the heels of Don't Ask, Don't Tell being tossed into the dust bins of history, only demonstrates this administrations commitment to change and equality for all.
Of course Obama's pronouncements and timing were political...he's a POLITICIAN.
Whether his new found position helps or hurts his re-election chances, remains to be seen. The fact of the matter is ...HE STEPPED UP TO THE PLATE, and earned my vote, again. Besides, do we really want a man in magic underwear running the country...scary proposition me thinks.

p.s. This weeks news would make Harvey Milk and George Moscone very proud.

I'm glad Obama/Biden "evolved" on this vital Constitutional issue. This is what I have been posting to the naysayers on mainstream sites like Yahoo, the N.Y. Times and the Washington Post:
YOU are on the wrong side of history. Virtually everyone has gay relatives, friends, coworkers or acquaintances. To deny them the same rights as you enjoy is UNCONSCIONABLE! Bigotry and intolerance can not be condoned, EVER.
Wake up and join the 21st century!
Myth 1: legalizing/recognizing same-sex marriage will force churches to perform them. Totally false. NOBODY is trying to force churches to do anything they don't want to do. Same-sex marriage (hereby referred to as SSM) refers to the secular, government-sanctioned contract of marriage. Many churches DO sanction and perform SSM, including some big-name denominations. So no, there is NO threat to any church, they can be as restrictive as they want to be.
Myth 2: there is a "gay agenda," gays are trying to "force" their "lifestyle" on others. No. The only "agenda" is the equal application of the Constitution and their civil rights, to force people to recognize that they DO have rights and that nobody has the authority to deny those rights. Nobody is trying to "force" anyone to become gay or to participate in gay activities, simply to stop discriminating and trying to take away their rights. And marriage IS a right, defined as such by the Supreme Court.
Myth 3: SSM is a threat to the "sanctity" of "traditional" heterosexual marriage. Total crap. The only threat is imaginary, SSM poses no harm to anyone. It does not invalidate anyone's hetero marriage. In fact, people like Newt Gingrich and Rush Limbaugh, serial adulterers with multiple marriages are a FAR greater affront to the "sanctity of marriage" than SSM could ever be. Marriage Equality ENHANCES the "institution" of marriage by making it fair and available to ALL.
Myth 4: marriage originated as a religious institution, it is mainly the property of religion and should therefore be defined and controlled by the church. Absolute nonsense. Marriage was around long before any organized religion existed. It was around LONG before Christianity (by thousands of years), and even predates Judaism by several thousand years. Marriage is a secular, legal union. Churches did not start "blessing" marriages until well into the Middle Ages, and did not really become mainstream in performing marriages until the Renaissance. And the ultimate proof is: you can get married by any secular authority (justice of the peace, county clerk, ship's captain, depending on the local laws), with NO church involvement, and your marriage is legal and recognized everywhere in the world. But you CANNOT get married in ANY church, legally, without a state-issued license. Try it, and your "marriage" will not be recognized anywhere, by anyone.
Myth 5: marriage is not a right, especially SSM, since it is not specifically mentioned in the Constitution, and is therefore not protected as a civil right. Absolute rubbish. First, the Supreme Court itself defined marriage as a right. Second, the 9th Amendment specifies that rights do not have to be enumerated in the Constitution to be protected. Third, the 14th Amendment prohibits any law that denies any citizen his/her rights.
There are more myths to be busted, but we'll start with these.

And I can't understand these gay men posting here that Obama did this ONLY to get votes. He could LOSE votes, based on what just happened in North Carolina! But his constitutional scholarship from heading the Harvard Law Review came through along with his "cojones" (balls) to stand up for our rights more so than ANY other American president EVER.

It's constitutional to discriminate against gays.
Gays are not given equal standing in adopting infants.
This is for the best chance of a good result in raising to adulthood.
(See the lousy results of many single mothers)
If gays are allowed to marry, you know pressure will materialize to prevent discrimination in adoptions.
Stronger civil union laws are the way to go.

If anyone truly think Obama "supports" our rights, then you are sadly naive. Obama said what he said solely to rake in $$$ and votes from people who had been threatening to withhold millions of bucks from him.

HE'S the one who made this into a big deal with that cushy interview with his wife's good friend. Obama is a master at political expediency, and he's first rate when it comes to saying or doing something solely for money and getting ahead. He was known for this as an Illinois State Senator, where he simply had no convictions. (On MORE THAN HALF OF THE VOTES on bills that came before the IL. State Senate he voted "present." He couldn't even vote "yes" or "no.") The guy is spineless. But hey! As long as it sounds good to the gays, he's our guy.

And why move the convention out of North Carolina? Obama explained that he supports states having the right to make decisions on gay marriage--a truly Federalist or pro-10th Amendment stance if there ever was one.

Yeah, this is support for gay marriage all right. With "friends" like this, who needs enemies?

Which is so much worse, of course, than being adamantly, publicly, and in-your-face opposed to us. Right. I'll take wishy-washy support that sometimes works in our favor over right-wing nuts who will actively work against us any time.

Just to put it out there, I do believe that President Obama did it for votes. Before he was voted in office he was for us, then elected changed his vote on it. Now changed again to he is for it, but it's not up to him he says it should be between each states government. So if were are looking at him as some victorious leader towards our marriage movement he's not. Not to say i'm supporting the Republicans because at this point republican or democrat we can't trust either side to tell us the truth and actually do something. We need to remember to that there is also more to this election that just gay's being able to marry. We have a fallen economy that shows no sign of acctually changing, people still out of work. I hate when the news shows that the unemployment rate is dropping because people are not collecting unemployment, that is because their benefits have run out. The county i'm in and the ones around me are really really bad. So please remember we need to pay attention to everything that they are saying and do our own research on the situation, and it's not just about being able to marry. I do believe it's going to be up to each states government, no president is going to touch this.