If You Could, Would You?

August 9, 2011

Out of all the things I ever expected a history lesson on, autofellatio was not one of them. But here I sit, slightly fascinated by this article from Slate detailing it's sordid past. Who knew that this simple, feel good act was so closely dissected among psychologists up until the 1970s. What's more, we get this fun Kinsey fact that only 2 or 3 out 1,000 men can perform autofellatio. Which brings us to the question, if you could, would you? Seems like the majority of us would say yes without hesitation, but even I, someone who loves performing fellatio, isn't so quick to say yes. Sure, I'd try it and see what all the fuss is about, but I'm not sure I would make it a regular thing. I guess I'll never know as I'm one of the 997 or so men out of 1,000 that can't.

Let us know in the comments below where you lie on the matter. Do you enjoy watching videos of it on sites like Xtube? And if you're one of the few, the proud, please let us know your experiences with it as well.

Tags: self suck, autofellatio, clone, would you
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Post written by RobHeartsDH (View Author Profile)
About this author: Rob lives in Manhattan with his black pug Riley. When he’s not thinking about daddies, he enjoys writing, eating burritos, watching copious amounts of television, and thinking about his next meal.
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Let's answer the question the way my DAD presented it to me:

"Hey dad, WHY does a dog lick his balls"??? I asked my dad in wonderment one day........

Because HE CAN, son, "Because he can".............

My dad was obviously quite cool............. ;))

A fantastic Observation for one and for all...

Yes, whole hartiedly agree. If we all could lick our own balls and cock.. hell if we could swallow it all, I dont think we would ever have reached the moon, invented nuclear reactors or built the pyramids. Thankfully, its a rareiety. And yes, I do watch guys who can on video (or even in person when possible) There would be a very small percentage of men who would not suck themselves at all, but we are talking less than one whole percent out of the whole human race.

So yes, I would be in the majority who would probably suck himself if he could. yes I tried it two or three times right after I first learned to beat off. IT HURT trying. but try I did. Not gonna try it again. Watching others who can, will endlessly fascinate me though.

All joking aside, here's what I think. It would be interesting to accomplish it, sure. (I'm certain I'm not the only man on earth whose tried at least once, after all). But lets think about masturbation, for a second; think about the first time you played with your dick, and what a surprise it was that you could make yourself feel that good. (And I don't want to hear, "I've never done that" or the more common "I never had to do that because I always found someone to do it for me." Horse-hockey; you know you've done it and you know you love it). Now, if you're anything like the at least ninety-nine percent of the men on earth who are in possession of at least one functioning hand, you probably also didn't just find a rhythm overnight; it took you a while to get the moves down. Which isn't to say that what's going on in your mind doesn't go along with what's going on in your palm, because it does. But everyone has their own personal stroke, not everyone is right-handed or left-handed, and some guys even prefer to do that on their stomachs while fucking their own fist. Either way, there's a personal rhythm involved. And we haven't even yet discussed playing with oneself anally, but that also has a certain rhythm to it to achieve maximum personal pleasure. Now imagine, at your age (whatever age you may be), suddenly finding out that an extra joint in your back made it possible for you to collapse enough spine to suck yourself off. Do you REALLY think it would be that easy? You'd have to learn a whole new rhythm, for one. For two, an educated guess makes me think there's a lot more pleasure in fellating someone else only BECAUSE of the lack of spinal acrobatics. I speak not as someone experienced with this, and I've never taken any kind of fetishistic pleasure in watching anyone else do it. I just don't think it would be my cup of tea. On the other hand, I'm into certain non-vanilla activities to which others can't relate. So I guess it's a question of you going to your church and me going to mine, as always.

My own take on this is that while it may be physically possible for some small percentage of men to bend double sufficiently to accomplish the act (however small the insertion), I seriously doubt that it's very comfortable even for those capable of it. And, of course, you can't turn the organ upside down, so your tongue would be on the wrong side of the glans - thus the ability to really make things feel good would be decidedly limited. (Or maybe you can, if you can reach it in the first place!). Overall, this is more a talking fantasy thing than a real world issue.

Its actually rather easy to do it, if you even slightly well endowed. I perfected it when I was a young boy, and can still do it. All you need is a way to hold your feet perfectly still, like when you did sit ups in gym. I did it with the underside of my bedboard, putting my feet under there. The rest followed naturally.

Did it in my teens, would still take on the dare if I didn't know I'd hemorrhage in my brain LOL. For any teen that makes for a fun page in the sex memoires, my life's that much more complete :) Oh, and for the rest of us who are not made of fetishes and mature on to exploring dicks on OTHER men for pleasure, it's not even so much a sexual experience as much as the exploit of being able to pull it off, even if only for a few months back in [fill in the name of that president] times :)

I'd much rather have someone else doing it to me. And hope guys don't become capable of sucking and licking their own since I love doing that for them.

I could do it in my early 20s. It was through sheer force of will and a hot bath. I'm only average length but I was able to get the head to my lips and also lick my balls. I found it very hot, to be honest, and still find it hot to see some one else do it. It was hard on my neck but had no lasting bad effects. Of course there's no way I could do it now with my belly, but it's a fond memory.

The opening scenes of the movie "Shortbus" includes an autofellatio scene. It is so hot. I am not able to do the deed, but certainly admire those that have that extra tool of pleasure to use.

We all would.

I used to be able to, even though I'm of average endowment. Was always afraid that I'd somehow get stuck and be caught that way. VERY fun and very erotic, and if I still could I would. And yes - it's fun to watch.

Isn't it MORE fun when we can reach out and touch someone... ?? And besides, here's always the "69"... or the "68" if you wanna take turns...

Hehehehe.......wow! That's wonderful. If i could then definately i would, it's just an another step to satisfy yourselves and satisfaction is the way for happiness, and who don't want to be happy?.

Ohhhh yes I would, but so much better with another guys mouth

I would argue this.. only if you could fully swallow yourself. Otherwise, its just a novelty act "because you can" And usually, one would wind up just licking the tip... which is a shitty blow job imho.

At the least, you could show your partner how you want him to suck you at the very least. If, that is, you can give yourself a FULL blow job.

In the religion of ancient Egypt, the gods and their followers performed religious rituals involving autofellatio. In the "Book of Overthrowing Apophis", there is a poem telling how the sun god Ra created the god Shu and goddess Tefnut by sucking himself and spitting out his sperm onto the ground. In ancient Egypt it was usually performed by the god Atum, and only tells of spitting the sperm or only the masturbation, but not both.

As for me, I've only know a few men who have sufficient flexibility and penis length to safely perform the necessary frontbend. However, after increasing flexibility and using gravity-assisted positions, and physical training such as gymnastics, contortion, or yoga it is possible some of the time. But to successfully make oral contact with my own penis and perform a full autofellatio, I think of it as a behavior issue and not as a sexual practice. In downtown D.C. there's ample opportunity to have someone else fellate me.

Hell yeah, why not! Part of the fun of having some 'me time' to scratch your itch is finding new ways of scratching it, and it makes you more supple too!

Love this topic, when I go to sites that show video I always look for the guys who can suck themselves . The first time I sucked myself I was around 14 , I had only had one other experience of cumming prior to that and it was in someone elses mouth. For me I would do a shoulder stand Yoga position then just take my cock in my mouth that way. Yes I have always had a very flexable body so it was easy. At 19 I was in a car accident and damaged my back so much that I had to have surgey so no more self sucking for me but I sure loved it and wish I was able to do it now. For now I have been know to suck a guy while fucking him , that always gets us both off.

Would I if I could?...Puullleeese!! But will I respect myself in the morning? Yup.

I could when I was young, from my teens to my mid-twenties.

There was a man I used to see years ago who not only could suck himself, but wanted me to join in at the same time. It was wild. As I remember, he was no spring chicken, but was a very hot daddy with a great body, which no doubt helped him accomplish this feat. I tried to do it when younger but kept falling off the bed,etc. I found it best left to those limber as a human pretzel or with tongues like Gene Simmons of Kiss!

Their are pictures of highly flexible somewhat double-jointed guys doing exactly that many years ago just as gymnasts and yoga experts do some unusual contortions after a lot of practice. I wouldn't believe all modern images though. Using the clinical reference helps to keep it rated PG which is wise. There is the ole joke about how some guys do not need to go on a date but then that would end up being lonely with no one else to share life's wacky events over time.

Do not try that at home without professional coaching over about 10 years or the back pain may kick in when you try to really reach for it - ouch....

I'd rather watch someone do it than do it myself -- even if I could, which I can't: Not flexible enough; haven't done enough yoga; and not 10 inches neither. But even if I could, I likely (I added that word for honesty reasons) wouldn't. I like the smell, taste, feel, texture, look of yours. I'm too familiar with my own at my age and even know what it smells like already. Thus, it holds no particular fascination for me. But go ahead. Oh, may I take a movie of you doing it?

My younger brother could suck himself, but he said is it like tickling yourself--it much better when someone else does it

I could do it back many years. I promosed myself I wouldn't cum in my mouth too - I lied.

I used to fuck my boss who was a really tall thin guy , a bit younger than me. We used to fuck and suck everywhere . I would usually drive him home from work up Lake Shore Drive in Chicago and he would suck my dick all the way home, and by the time we got to his apartment he was so horny , as was I, that we would get inside and rip each others clothes off and he would get my cock all wet in his mouth and then get on the floor on his back but his head kind of sitting up against the sofa and i would get on my knees with his long ass legs over my shoulder and I would shove my cock right up his ass and after we got going in a hot rhythume and I had him bent in half, he would take his cock in his mouth as deep as he could and I would fuck him as he was sucking himself the whole thime... and as I shot up his ass[pre AIDS] he would blow his load down his throat .. The only way he could cum sucking himself was with a dick up his ass.... Fucking him was incredible, in his beautiful young hot ass but the site of him with his cock in his mouth is what would make me fire my load as high as it would go into his body.......And yes I watch it on any movie or xtube anytime I can and it still makes me cum!!!!!!!!! and if he is reading this I would do it agasin any chance i had .......

Like George Carlin said, "I see my dog lickin' his balls, I'd be down on the floor with him if I could do it too." The idea intrigues me, and back in the day, I COULD get the head in my mouth. Ah youth.....

I think even though we all say we wouldn't, I think we would all love to try it sooner or later!!!

oh god yes - when i was younger i could put the tip in my mouth and jizz on my face it was awesome!

I'm sad to say, that I belong to the majority that can not self service!
If I would be able to "help" my selves, I think I would stay in all day, and would be trying to get it!
So I think, some wise force has decided that it is better for me, to keep my back straight, for I am allready gay, and it would be to much of a strain for me, to get my back into it!

OK - close your eyes for a moment and imagine a man sucking your cock. Nice, huh? Now; imagine that he's able to feel exactly what you're feeling as you're feeling it and can thus adjust everything he does to give you maximum pleasure. That's what sucking your own cock can be like, if you're into it and have enough flex to get some depth. It's incredible.
Is it a substitute for sex with others? Of course not - it's it's own, remarkable thing. I know I'm a better cocksucker for other men because I've been able to practice on myself since puberty ;)