Daddyhunt Blog Posts from October 2010

Mr. Ron
October 28, 2010
Category: Gay Culture
The Leather Daddy Perspective

I want to introduce myself to the Daddyhunt readership. My name is Ron, to some Mr. Ron, and I live in Cincinnati, Ohio. I‘ve lived here for over 30 years and have seen my life transition from one phase to the next, sometimes smooth, sometimes, rough but change has been the constant.

I am currently the President of our local LGBTQ Leather Club, SCORPIUS of CINCINNATI, and we are in the final stages of putting on the MR. TRI‐STATE LEATHER contest the weekend of November 12th. I’ve been involved in the leather community for the past 15 years, more actively in the past 5 years. Prior to that, my involvement was more on the periphery, going to functions, buying myself pieces of leather, attending IML, doing the photography for local leather events, and of course, meeting and playing with hot leather daddies and hunters. However, being part of , organizing and executing a regional leather event has forced me to think about my leather experiences in a much broader perspective.

Like many in the 70’s, I graduated from college, moved to a new city and came out of the closet. I went to the local hangouts at the time but found that I could not relate to most of the men I met. But then, I walked into my first leather bar and immediately, I felt a difference. Here were men who accepted me and encouraged me to be comfortable in my own skin.

Planning the MR. TRI‐STATE LEATHER contest has brought me to a place of warm memories...

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October 22, 2010
Category: Gay Culture

With Wednesday's post about the return of the masculine man came a lot of interesting comments about what it is to be a man. So I ask, what makes a masculine man?

Is it the way they carry themselves? Their actions? Their smell? I inadvertently made it seem like all it takes to be masculine is a hairy chest, but that's not the case at all. I think we all have different ideals about what it means to be a man, probably because we've all led different lives and been taught different things. Across cultures the idea of masculinity differs greatly, and yet at its core there are inherent similarities.

And then of course there's the penis, which has been intrinsically tied with being a man since the dawn of time. And with good reason, by definition it's what makes us men. And yet, we have transgendered men who weren't born with penises at all. I've always wondered if we were forced to walk the earth naked if the most powerful men would be the ones with the largest penises. I say this because to some, power is what makes a man masculine and in many cultures power is in the penis.

Now add to all this the fact that as gay men, we've struggled to counteract the notion that being gay makes you less of man. We took it so far that now archetypes of the past (the mustache, muscled up, beefy look) are now largely associated with gay culture. But with the blurring of gender roles over the years, is masculinity even relevant anymore? It would seem that with the fluidity of just about everything in our lives these days, it's really not anymore.

Whether it's...

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October 21, 2010
Category: Dating

What would you do if you had control over a sexy daddy like these neato voodoo dolls? Besides dressing and undressing the dolls real life counter part, the possibilities seem limitless.

If only voodoo really worked...

© Andrea Sevcikova & Marek Menke, 2010

gay personals

October 20, 2010
Category: Gay Culture

Could it be? Could it finally be that after nearly 2 decades, the masculine man is making his triumphant return to popular culture? If this NYT article and the runways they speak of are any indication, a new dawn is here and I for one am delighted.

At age 21 I decided to quit the full body manscaping business and I haven't looked back since. I've been adamant about keeping my scruffy face and hairy body for years now, even at a time when it was frowned upon by so many of my friends and gay peers. I've never been into twinks nor I have I ever wanted to be one, which is why it was always so frustrating to see fashion magazines bursting with them. The pale, hairless, often times androgynous models do nothing for me. Looking back through the 60s, 70s and even the 80s it was these men, the ones with mustaches and big tufts of chest hair that really did it for me. They were men in every sense of word, and I always wondered why at a certain point we started to looking to boys as the supposed epitome of sexiness.

Now don't get me wrong, I understand our cultures obsession with youth and beauty; it's existed long before it could be verbalized. But to me, the over-groomed, pristine baby-faced guys never really seemed like men at all. Give me a man who isn't afraid to embrace all that he is and all that he's given and you'll awaken something in me that's primal and truly visceral.

I guess I shouldn't be surprised that masculinity is on the...

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Jim Arnold
October 16, 2010
Category: Gay Culture

I can still remember that first time – the chill in the winter night on line outside the door off an alley, not wanting to make eye contact but dying to see who else was waiting to enter; later, the butterflies in the stomach and the rush of warm, humid air once we paid the fee and were buzzed in to this secret sanctuary of uninhibited gay sexuality in the heart of the frozen, conservative American Midwest of the 1970s.

My initiation to the baths was at the hands of my more experienced college boyfriend – he was 22, had been there before and knew the deal. The place was crowded, mostly a profusion of aroused, pinkish flesh (not too much diversity back then) and damp white towels. We watched an older man blow an athletic young guy our age for a rapt crowd in a hallway. When he finally pumped his load down the man’s throat, knees gave way, but he was held up by the embrace of two strong men. His moans were drowned out by the collective sighs of the grateful audience, many of who played right along.

For me, this night of cocks and kisses and steam began what’s been a lifelong love for the baths. I had no idea that gay life, and its sexuality, could be so exciting, so fresh, and such a continual adventure. I also remember thinking that this was something I could grow to “love too much.” Thus, it was wise to be cautious, lest those parts of my personality prone to attract too much of a good thing gain control.

I don’t live in the Midwest anymore and the building that bathhouse was in has been converted to condos – just like everything else. In the...

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October 14, 2010
Category: Relationships

We've all been there. You've just broken up with someone, or been dumped, or realized you were barking up a very sexy, but very wrong tree and realized you need to move on in a big way. Realizing is one thing, but actually doing something about it is quite another. And as is usually the case, it's easier said than done. Distance and time is the most effective remedy, but it's also the hardest one (who has that kind of time?). So in an effort to speed up the process here are some other ways to help you heal that terribly itchy heartache.

Out of Sight, Out Of Mind

Similar to the 'distance and time' method, quitting a guy cold turkey is one of the most effective ways to get over someone in that it takes some time. This entails a complete cut off from your former flame, which means no phone calls, no texts, no facebook stalking, no friendly coffee catch ups, no contact whatsoever for a predetermined period of time. Of course you can't block them from your brain or prevent them from popping up in the wild, but by eliminating everything you can control, that man will be washed right out of your hair in no time. And the best part is, once your man-cleansing is complete you're free to start or resume a friendship with him from wonderfully solid footing.

Find Someone New

Another one of the more effective ways to help erase those pesky residual feelings is to start dating someone else. Starting to meet other people and discovering what's out there is great way to take your mind off things (I know this great dating site with a...

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October 13, 2010
Category: Gay Culture
I'm From Driftwood Fifty State Story Tour

Like we've been saying a lot lately, the importance of sharing your gay story with the world is so important to our community. Our voices are gaining momentum, and while Dan's Savages "It Gets Better Project" has the online part of this covered, it's nice to hear a real live voice every once and a while. Enter the I'm From Driftwood 4-month, 50-state tour launching this Fall. For those of you not familiar with the site, collects and shares true stories from all walks of GLBT life and they plan on doing it live and in person across the country.

But they need our help (tours ain't cheap, just ask Madonna). For those of you interested in donating to the tour fund you can visit their website or if you're in the San Francisco area on Thursday night, they'll be hosting a Happy Hour Fundraiser:

Thursday October 14, 2010
Lookout Bar
6-8 PM
Q&A and Books Available, Suggested Donation $10. @ IFD Table
3600 16th Street
San Francisco CA 94114

Then on Friday they'll have a live event complete with screenings and readings at Magnet:

I'm From Driftwood - Selected Stories
Friday, October 15, 2010
4122 18th Street
San Francisco, CA 94114

In the meantime be sure to check out all the great stories they've collected like this one from Raymond Luczak, author and editor of more than ten books, including Assembly Required: Notes from a Deaf Gay Life:

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October 12, 2010
Category: Politics

Looks like a lone judge has done what Obama and Congress have been unable to do. U.S. District Judge Virginia Phillip's issued an injunction today that would stop enforcement of the now 17-year-old 'don't ask, don't tell' policy. The U.S. Department of Justice can of course appeal the ruling (they have 60 days to do so), but they're also under no obligation to.

Here's hoping Obama and Co.'s egos don't get in the way and let this stand. Obama has been a champion of having Congress resolve the issue, but with the possible change over in party seats the odds of that happening could get even slimmer.

Let's all give a big army salute to Judge Phillips today.

New York Times Article

gay personals

October 11, 2010
Category: Gay Culture

In light of everything that's happened within our community the past few months, National Coming Out Day seems to hold even more weight this year. With all the tragic losses of gay youth and anti-gay attacks (both physical and verbal) as of late, we're reminded that being proud of who we are is a vital part of our survival, and more importantly for the generations that follow.

It takes a lot of courage and strength to come out at any age and in any era, even today. There's still so much uncertainty in what happens after you say those two spirit freeing word "I'm gay." I came out at 18, and while to some that may seem young, I wish I had done it even earlier. If I knew then what I know now, I'd have lead the charge in my close-minded suburban community and been as loud and proud as possible.

What about you guys? When did you first come out and how was your experience?


October 6, 2010
Category: Gay Culture

With Halloween fast approaching, I've been feeling the pressure of picking out the perfect costume. No easy feat when the gay competition is, forgive me, fierce. Two out of the past four costumes of mine have involved short shorts and tube socks, which means I need to branch out a bit this year. I've already done a superhero costume (Wolverine, but the daddy pictured above was way hotter about it). There is one option I've always wanted to do but never have, which is to go in a full on plushie get up. I'm thinking of Winnie the Pooh or something like that, but this option is by far the least sexy. And therein lies the problem.

I've always regarded Halloween as one of my favorite hook up holidays (second only to Arbor Day). Whether I've been in a relationship or on the prowl, sexing on this holiday is always a treat. Maybe it's because there's a new thrill from taking off items of clothing that aren't the norm, like a fireman's suspenders. Or possibly it's that it's an easy way to explore role play for the uninitiated. Whatever the reason, the anticipation of the Halloween hookup is always at a seasonal high right about now.

Am I alone in this? More importantly, what are all the sexy daddies and hunters planning to dress up as this year? I'm warning you now, I may steal an idea or two, but I promise to give credit where credit is due (and post pictures!).