Daddy's BFF

August 24, 2010

It was a couple I saw at the street fair last night eating chocolate coated bananas on a stick that prompted me to say something about the penis.

This proud symbol of our greatest pleasure has been getting attention ever since a caveman shaped a pole and stuck it between two stones and was pleased with what he saw. Obelisks littered Rome and sprouted the kingdoms of the Middle East; tribes around the world worship penis totems to assure a next generation of virile men. Now that the penis has its place in history; I want to talk about its place in our pants.

We handle our penis as if it was separate and independent from the rest of the body, and tugging it reassures us. When it stands up on its own without our permission we shove it down and lodge it in our underwear hoping it stays there. But we should be gentle with our friend and settle him to one side of our briefs where he will be comfortable and may stay tumescent. It’s as much a part of our identity as our eye color or our build and should be treated as we treat a loyal friend who doesn’t always do what we expect and sometimes refuses our entreaties.

Your hairy joint needs rest but he also needs recreation and a few good pulls with a bit of hand cream after your evening shower is good exercise as well as a great way to relieve tension. Or do it in front of a mirror as he swells and if you don’t close your eyes at the time, you can watch it pump spurt by spurt.

Some may want us to believe penises are dirty, which they aren’t but good hygiene is always a good thing. Give him a good shower or a long hot bath and peel back his overcoat if he has one and savor the wrinkles of flesh at rest and watch them stretch to accommodate your excited blood. Never insult your penis. First, it’s the only one you’ve got, and it’s going to be with you the rest of your life. Second, if you think of him as a pipsqueak or a fat slob, he’ll be in no mood to pleasure you.

The big guy in your crotch is versatile; he can relax you into sleep or pep you up for the start of your day. He lets someone know you like him without saying a word. Reserve a special place for him in your pants; don’t just leave him hanging.

Queer Chronicles by Chuck Forester


Tags: Penis, Humor
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Apologies gentlemen, we turned off the commenting on this post in error. Have at it if you wish.

I liked the idea of not being being able to post a comment. Good of you guys to give us something to think about without starting a debate.

The Penis; cock, dick, member, joint, meat, one eyed trouser snake, tally whacker, the list is goes on and on. When your APPENDAGE' has more nick names than I can list, it's obvious that he's our BFF for life.

Are you really telling a dating website for gay men that cocks are nice? I think that goes without blogging, to be honest.


What is wrong with tooting ones own horn? Pun not intended. Besides, Chuck is a poetic writer and his words make you smile.

it is so refreshing to talk openly about the thing all gay men love to pleasure and pamper - our penis. Long live the healthly worship of the best thing that we have to enjoy and share with our fellow penis bearers. Long may they squirt and bring us pleasure

Read the previous blog on "What is Reasonable Risk", and see for yourselves just how dangerous Penis Worship and giving in to it's needs are. Celebrate the LIFE that comes from the Penis, after all, it can't type for itself!!

I agree with Eldarin. People don't take safe sex seriously. Barebacking is at an all time high. It's sad to see 19 and 20 yr. olds with HIV because they either want to get it and get it over with or just don't see how real the danger is. Back to the Penis was kind of junior high silly. But we all are entitled to our opinions.

The idea that life is short so "what the heck" can be over-rated for sure.

Is it true that most men are on firstname terms with their penis ? (I wouldn't be surprised - it's their BEST friend . . . . !

Some guys don't get out of the office or computer cubicle much so they have to make do with their little friend after any dates see that the sense of order and protocol exists only at the office and not at the home facilities. It won't matter however if they just need the risky quickie in which case it's not that far beyond just playing at the computer and getting everyone's names mixed up on a buddy list and not being able to tell the doctor who they were with.

Ahhhh...the penis, the dick, the cock, the wang, the chubby. We call it by so many names. But no other part of a man's body gets so much attention; pictures of hands and noses and legs and feet and ears flourish all over the internet, in magazines, on TV, but we give them no notice, but flash a penis and our attention jumps to full alert. Show us a nude picture of a man and we dont look at his eyes or smile or virile body...we focus on his penis, it size, shape, the placement of the urethra on the head, every detail. Then our imagination takes over wondering what it would be like being with this penis (oh, I mean man). Most men not only covet their own penis for their pleasure, but they want other men's penises to give them pleasure as well. For all we have shanced over the last 6- to 8-thousand years, the more we are still the same.