Feeling Welcome

June 3, 2010

One of the things people like about Daddyhunt is the whole "no attitude" aspect of it. Sure, there are gropes and hot, sweaty details of sexual preferences, but we are most proud of the feeling of being welcome here. And as all us gays know, that's quite a comforting feeling, especially when we were younger. This young cub really captures that feeling of belonging for the first time:

We've also recently heard some great news from the ImFromDriftwood.com camp. IFD is going on a 50-State, 4-month "Story Tour" this fall to collect and share more true LGBT stories from the smallest towns to the biggest cities. 50 states in 4 months! There are numerous ways you can participate in and support this AMAZING project so please do what you can to help build this valuable archive of voices.

Learn more about the tour.

Help KickStart!

Tags: Video, Gay Culture, coming-out
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Post written by The Daddyhunt Team (View Author Profile)
About this author: The team of six individuals that keep Daddyhunt running like a well oiled machine.
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Liked the Driftwood story a lot. Can't say how happy it makes me to see young gay folk
coming out at such a tender age into positive experiences. I truly believe it is the responsibility
of older gay men to do a certain amount of "fathering" to these brave young guys, with our without the sex. Big hugs all around.

i feel that daddy hunt is a great site to injoy one,s chat and some times it makes my day just to email someone and tell them to have a great day so thanks daddyhunt your doing a great job
your pal and great fan bluedaddy va.

I enjoy the site somewhat, but the "attitude free" "advertisement" is something of a wonderment to me:

When I posted MY OPINION in a blog about "something" (I don't want to rehash that) the "certain members of the "something" sub-community gave me a LETHAL public thrashing. If THAT'S not attitude, then perhaps I have my adjectives incorrect at this age.

One gent (who I refuse to humiliate in a public forum) advertised in his 'profile': "Be ready to CAM with me to see that you are whom you are. I sent him 2 messages that I would be HAPPY to CAM with him to show him who I was. He "blocked" me. Attitude?? Hmmmmmmmm.

So, in essence, while this is a nice site, the "headless torsos" and flakes/fakes still abound here. Again, an "attitude".

The only thing that I have found refreshing about Daddyhunt is that the REAL men on here will live up to their muster. The rest IMHO are just a bunch of scared little children in men's bodies, that have never mentally or emotionally matured.

OK, the soapbox is going to the garbage heap right now..........

Well where did you guys did the fact check before writing this article. It does look and feel good to read, but the fact of the matter is gay guys wherever they are, they show some level of attitude, disregards and disrespect. Either it is someone ignoring your emails/gropes and responds with a rude reply or someone who harasses you and dont take no for an answer. As a Gay Indian man, I find some sort of resentment towards me, perhaps its the negative stereotypes the are visible or perceived in our communities or lack of understanding of a different culture, I can only imagine. Either way, before we all sing kumbaya and drift into our fantacy world, let us remind ourselves that we ought to treat each other with respect and dignity. If we dont do it, the straight community is not going to do it either.

For the record, I am yet to meet a decent guy from this site eventhough I ve been on this site for few years. It talks volumes and I am not a bad looking one either.


Gay men, even today in 2010, still feel the effects of internalized homophobia. It manifests as low self-esteem, disparagement of other gay people, and a constant need for affirmation regarding looks, sexiness, masculinity, et al. If someone doesn't appeal to you in some way or another, just reply back with a simple "thanks"; (at least the first time; some people are pretty aggressive with their constant messages) ignoring someone totally is just rude. That man found you attractive enough to say hello or grope (I really wish there was another word or phrase like "wink" or "quick hello", groping even online can be annoying), he deserves at least an acknowledgment of a thank you. If we can't be civil with each other, then who can?

I've never felt "comfortable" or "welcome" on any queer site -- this one is no exception. There is more exclusion in the homo world than anywhere else.

Actually, I've decided like Groucho that any club that would want me isn't one I'd want to join.

As a young guy being a member on this site I really don't agree with the comments in this article, it's total nonsence!!!! I've had many nasty messages sent to me after replying to a grope or message with a thankyou or thanks take care, when that person dose not appeal to me, so where this NO ATTITUDE comes from I don't know mars maybe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol. There is alot of attitude on this site and all gay sites! I find my self sometimes thinking if I should reply or not as I have said I've had many nasty replys and fed up with it. sadly there are many people who for some reason have a shitty attitude and need to grow up man up!!!!! so please stop writing in fairy tail land this nonsence!!!!!!

"No attitude" Daddyhunt? Is this a new system feature?

Unfortunately the belief that the Bear community (or any other gay community) does not come with its own set of prejudices and body fascism has been proven wrong. It is just different from the mainstream gay culture, which idolizes youth, hairless, perfectly toned bodies and faces.

At Daddyhunt, the archtype is middle-aged, beefy, hairy men with facial hair. Not that there's anything wrong with that - I find this image sexually appealing. It's unfortunate that since I don't fit the mold, I and others like me find it difficult to connect - hence a feeling of isolation is created.

So let's all be honest and admit the facts - any "community" of people - especially gay men - is prone to an amount of attitude. It simply comes with the territory.

I am reminded about a snide remark that Cicero made about the custom of some older Roman men to
mentor and help bring up young men: "How come it's only the pretty ones??"

Its not just the pretty ones. Have seen a 260 pound 21 year old be a good boi. Seems to be getting common for kids to go against the exercise advice of parents and schools of correctness and want to be different by gaining weight.

Hey guys... This is Carl from Daddyhunt.

When we created Daddyhunt.com we did so with the intention of creating an attitude-free space where men of all ages, sizes, colors and backgrounds could feel welcome and accepted. With over 200,000 members we can't guarantee that everyone will act with no-attitude on the site. All we can do is strive to be better, every day, and make our own effort to be accepting and inclusive.

One of the many ways that we try to "back up" our No Attitude value is to invite wonderful sites like "I'm From Driftwood" to contribute great original content. Our hope is that our members would show the utmost respect by using this forum and comments to show respect to each other and to the contributors.

I understand that being online can be a negative experience but we can all do an important part to create a better environment on Daddyhunt by ensuring that whenever someone takes the time to share content or an opinion with the Daddyhunt community, that we honor that by ensuring our comments are on-topic, thoughtful and respectful. It is inappropriate to use this space to air grievances about your own DH experience, the community or to engage in flame wars.

We ask all new members to agree to the Daddyhunt Code when joining the site. The full Code can be found on the Profile: Personal Details page. Points 2 and 3 of the code state:

• I am committed to allowing others to represent themselves with respect.

• I am committed to online communication based in mutual respect and an ability to consider different points of view.

I have met many wonderful, no-attitude people on Daddyhunt and I have confidence I will meet many more. However, if members continue to use this space without upholding the Daddyhunt values, we will consider disabling blog commenting privileges.

"Thanks, but no thanks" (or a variation of that theme) says it all. It's a respectful, polite and appropriate response when one is not interested in another member who expresses interest in you. I agree with younger4older99's irritation over nasty responses when he's been man enough to politely 'reject' someone's advances.

On the flip-side of that -- and I don't know if it's a Los Angeles phenomenon or a nation-wide one -- I find it rude and socially pathological to simply ignore another member of the community when he let's you know he thinks you're attractive/hot/sexy/he wants your body-parts/whatever.

I, too, have met wonderful, no-attitude men on Daddyhunt. But I've also encountered an equal number of members who just don't answer. Is this supposed to be acceptable, no-attitude behavior? I don't think so. Being stalked or harassed is another issue, but it's just common decency to acknowledge another person with a polite 'not interested' instead of silence. Sure, bottom line is it says the same thing. Haven't we evolved to have more respect and less attitude for each other?

I subscribe to the no-attitude principle -- it makes Daddyhunt a wonderful community and I praise those who run the site for espousing such values.

I have absolutely no problem with other guys ignoring my messages or gropes or whatever. I send out a feeler. If a dude is interested, he'll get back to me. If he ain't, well... no harm done. Let's face it, just because I find someone to be attractive and interesting for me, does not put any obligation upon him to reply in any way.

Think of the real life. You go to a gay bar. There is this cute dude over there and you are kinda looking at him. He ain't looking back. He moves on. You move on. No damage done. Life goes on.